Without You Life Would Be Harder

2004 07 15 – State College – Mail to Self (Photo credit: thisisbossi)

My body and mind are tired today from yesterday’s adventures, but I am trying hard to find the good in today, so I wanted to just touch base on a couple of things.

I have decided to write the letters to the two aunts, having Al tell me what to say, then I will mail them with no return address. This way, I don’t have to be hurt anymore and I have done as Al wished.

Al and I do not know when he is going to pass on to heaven, but I tend to follow Al’s lead. He believes he is, and who am I to tell him he could be wrong. With all of the information I have googled, I find that Parkinson’s patients can live for several years in Al’s condition. For Al’s sake I hope this is not his case.

You may ask why I even went to see Julie, the sister, and the same reason is above stated, because Al feels like his time is near. I try to put myself in his shoes. If I could not drive anymore, or was no longer able to write, I would feel so frustrated that someone, who thinks they know more, would not help me finish what I think needs tended to at the end of my days.

Today, I got up because Al’s shower girl was to be here. I felt terrible in general. I think it is the emotional stress taking over. I actually came out on the couch and slept once again. Now, I am awake but feel like I have been drug through a mud bath. Moving along but in slow motion. With God’s help and the wonderful comments made by you, I will be back on top in no time at all.

So, I am taking it easy, and maybe tonight, I will write a fictional story, or add something to Al’s journey for you. If not hopefully tomorrow.

One good thing I have to add for this day, is the credit card was found! It ended up being on the floor board between the seats of my son’s truck. This was a comfort to me, although, I knew no one could use it, it is comforting to know it is now cut and in the trash.

Al is having an excellent day. He has bounce in his walk and I have heard no complaint of pain from him. I did tell him that I talked to Julie, and that she hadn’t changed from before. I told him, we would write a letter together to the two aunts, tonight after dinner.

So a few good things I have found today.

I want to thank each one of you for your comments, your words of comfort. You do so much for me and help me to keep standing. Each of you I have taken into my heart and you have become dear friends to me.

I am going to do nothing really today, just continue to heal. I can’t help but get angry at myself, that I would let another human being do this damage to me, but I am trying to improve.

God bless each one of you. I love you all.

All In Two Hours

A credit card, the biggest beneficiary of the Marquette Bank decision (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have to share this short story because it really is funny now that it is over. I don’t get a chance to write too many funnies, so I am grabbing this one.

As you all know, my roof was being replaced by a brand new black roof this week! Also, at four this afternoon, it was completed. I wanted to jump up and down for joy. I wanted to eat a popsicle like a child, do somersaults in the yard, go ride a bike! The freedom of having it over was huge! No more men on my roof, no more pounding of hammers and noisy air compressors, nail guns. It is quiet now. Tomorrow, I won’t be jumping up and down, as I have to go outside and clean up the last of the mess on the ground, more bending over. Maybe I will have lost a whole inch in the waist from doing this for four days in a row.

So, the men are done, and they are paid. I had to get the air gun back to the store I rented it from by five. I paid so much for the first twenty-four hours, and then when ever the store was open for business, they also charged me so much per hour I had it. I ended up having it an extra eighteen hours, and this gave me a bill of eighteen dollars. I wasn’t in shock over it, but it was still enough with the beginning they charged first.

I went to pay for it on my charge card, when I took the nail gun back, and I could not find my card. I carefully looked through my cards a couple of times, but no card. I glanced behind me to see if I was holding anyone up and there wasn’t anyone. I looked in other places in my purse where I keep cards I don’t use very much, but nothing. I then became a little agitated and embarrassed because I couldn’t find this card. I dumped my purse on the counter, and everything fell out, including empty mint wrappers, some loose change, and a dirty kleenex. I stooped to pick up the loose change on the floor and noticed two people in line behind me and they were just watching me and smiling. Oh geesh, I thought to myself, I better find this stupid card, now! Lord, I need your help, like right now? Can you help me find my card? No response, no card, but I did leave the store with a nice cleaned out purse.

I went home and looked through my purse again. You know how it is when you are nervous, you can overlook something, and it was there all the time. Nope, not this time. I looked in drawers, although I never put cards there. I dug through trash cans, nasty, now I have to wash my hands. I looked and shook newspapers. I took off the couch cushions, and saw dirt and crumbs. I didn’t like this, because now that meant it would eat at me until I cleaned out complete couch. I shall put this on my mental notes to do tomorrow. I looked in my receipt drawer. I looked through the packet of receipts for the roof job. No dice! I finally got down on my hands and knees. THIS made Al smile. Never knew it would be that easy to get a smile out of him in this position! I crawled with the flash light looking under all the furniture, but still no card. God hadn’t answered my prayer yet either, so I had to rely on my own smarts. I didn’t want my charge card to land in some criminals hands, so I gave up and called the company and reported it lost or stolen.

The lady was nice, and we chatted for a bit. She told me how she had went to an ATM machine, and took money out but left her debit card lay. She told me the lady behind her was very honest and yelled at her to come back to get her card. We both laughed about that.

We went over my last charges that I knew I had made, and there had been no new ones, and this was good for me. She and I both hinted in different ways that it may be our ages, making us be forgetful. I admitted freely, that it was most possible, as I was so scatter brained anymore, with all of my responsibilities. She cancelled my card, and said I would receive a new one in about ten days. This is alright with me. I had not planned on using it again until I got the new bill paid off.

So all ended well. I found some little toys under the couch, a piece of candy, even a small piece of Christmas wrapping paper, and let me tell you this, I had already moved the living room furniture since Christmas and had swept the entire room, so I don’t know where that Christmas junk came from! I found some dirt in between the cushions, and I made Al laugh, but I never found the card. The lady at the lost and stolen department said that now that she has cancelled it, I will find it. Go figure!!