Phobias


We all have our little quirks don’t we? Most of the time we don’t realize them until someone points them out, or we are out of our home and we realize we aren’t following our routine.

Some have coffee before that first cigarette. Others let their pets out to potty. Some even check Facebook before their feet hit the ground from the bed. Yes, we all have something that is part of our personality.

My one thing I have issues with is medicine. I was diagnosed with Diabetes about 33 years ago. If anyone is a diabetic, you probably remember the adjustment time. Trial and error of different medications until the doctor is satisfied that at this point this amount of pills and doses are set.

That happened to me too, but I was given too strong of medications for a little over a week. What happened is I would be out running errands or taking a walk and my sugar would bottom out. I remember one time I passed out in front of a store. God was with me because the owner of that store came out to me and asked me if I was a diabetic and when I responded yes he took care of the problem right away. Yes, there are certain signs that others can read when diabetics are getting to an unsafe number.

Ever since that time I have had a phobia about new medications. As long as I am taking something that I have had before, I am real good. If you give me something different I have never tried I can go into a panic attack fairly easy.

I used to have my daughter close by and when I started a new pill she would stay with me for a couple of hours, but for the last several years I haven’t put my big-girl panties on all the way. I get them half-way pulled up and blow it.

I can sometimes cut the pill and make the start this way. Other times I can get the pill up to my lips and feel my body go completely hot and chicken out. I get so mad at myself but no matter how angry I get I don’t get past it.

Now, today I am seeing a brand new doctor for the first time since I have moved to Kentucky. In the back of my mind I am sweating it out. I am wondering if this doctor will be understanding and see things from my view, or if he will literally laugh out loud.

In the past I had a doctor who I frequented for about six months. On one particular visit she informed me that she was dismissing me from her list of patients on the grounds that she gave the instructions and I wasn’t following. Once again the issue was on taking new medications I had not had. She flat-out told me she was the doctor, I was the patient. I didn’t have the badge, she did.

There is not a big choice of doctors in this small town that my medical insurance takes so I am hoping this new doc and I hit it off.

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A Long Chapter in Al’s Life


A Long Chapter in Al’s Life

Please forgive me for repeating the topic of moaning, but it doesn’t stop. I heard Al in the wee hours of the morning and gave him some more medications. I am getting to the point that I don’t see any improvement at all with the medications, except to keep the two-week ongoing temperature down.

At the time allowed I medicated Al once again. The caregiver had been using Google to search for…

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A Long Chapter in Al’s Life


Please forgive me for repeating the topic of moaning, but it doesn’t stop. I heard Al in the wee hours of the morning and gave him some more medications. I am getting to the point that I don’t see any improvement at all with the medications, except to keep the two-week ongoing temperature down.

At the time allowed I medicated Al once again. The caregiver had been using Google to search for something more specific for Al’s chronic moans. She did locate one that could possibly work but Hospice said they had never heard of it.

Actually it is a very old medicine but isn’t used much anymore with the newer medicines popping up all over. I was reading about it this morning and it should only be used for a very short time, so maybe it isn’t meant to be.

The caregiver and I do spend time trying to help find a medicine that could benefit Al, but maybe there isn’t anything out there on the market. Is it possible that he will continue this moaning and mumbling until the good Lord takes him home? I don’t know.

He is as of last evening choking and struggling to get his mouth open to take any medicine. I am not sure at times if he is even hearing me and maybe this is why his mouth doesn’t open properly.

The choking on the smallest amount of water bothers me. What happens when I give him the medicines and he can’t take the water? I can see this issue becoming a reality very soon. It breaks my heart that as I write this post, he is in his bed coughing from having his meds. Is he talking to God again? Is he in pain? I don’t know anymore. All I know, is he needs relief and I am not the one who seems to be able to give it to him. Please Lord, please help Al in any way you can.

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