I am lying here in my bed, covered all the way to the top to my chin. Others have already
claimed me as dead, or surely, they would only cover half of me. I can speak, but the words come slowly, as my brain is taking too long to catch up to my lips.
I manage to grasp the handle of the bell and call an assistant to my bedside. I can not say goodbye to this world I have visited for the last 85 years, without letting you know that I am leaving, never to come back.
The young lady comes in and leans over my bed, and thinking I can not hear, she leans into my ear, and softly, without breathing, ask me how she can be of service to me. I tell her to grab that pad on the night stand, and to get the red ink pen lying beside it and to pull that chair in the corner over to my bedside.
Without questioning my motives, she does as I request, and comes back and sits beside me. We are so close that I do not have to strain my lungs, as I form the words from my heart.
I tell her to write what I say, and then to go back and check for all grammar and to make it right, as I am a writer, and errors are something that I treasure on not making. She pulls her glasses up from around her neck and slips them over her nose, and making a small line in the corner of the page, she makes sure the pen is working properly. She then looks up at me and says she is ready, I can start.
I give her a weak smile, and I do not waste valuable time, because I have been told a secret by the good Lord that I am going home today. I struggle but manage to clear my lungs, so that my words can be heard without much effort, and my mouth opens, my lips begin to form words, and I can hear myself say.
My dear friends, I want to speak to you today to let you know that my time here on earth is about to end. I am going home today and I could not leave without letting you know what you mean to me.
I was in a position of losing myself while caring for my brother, and through your wings, you lifted me up in your arms, using your own lips and words to comfort me.
When God whispered in my ear to begin to write once again, he never told or explained to me the wonderful gifts I would receive from doing his work.
I was living inside of four walls, watching my brother slowly fall away from me, while he suffered from his terrible illness, called Parkinson’s Disease. I became accustomed to hearing his pains, and hearing him calling out to his God, asking him to take him home.
When you hear this on a daily basis, it is easy to be sucked into another life, although you, yourself are not even sick.
The emotional turmoil that you suffer along with the patient, can without you realizing it, also take its toll on your own health.
But, writing and slowly letting you get to know my inner soul, has allowed me to slowly bloom into a beautiful flower, its roots ground deeply in your friendship and words of comfort.
The petals from my stem that I drink from come from you, my blogging friends. All of you have said something kind, or made me laugh.
I can not even say one name of anyone who has turned their back on me here. Each of you have brought something new to my life.
Viveka, you have taught me how to cook with little and yet wet my taste buds. Jo, you have spent many hours comforting me after others have gone turned out their lights.
Julie, you have shown me how to retain the strength that I have left. Tilly, you have been my bible, each night, as I look towards your blog, your words bringing me medicine for my soul.
Sandy, you have shown me that I must continue to move forth, to take one day at a time. Barb, you have been a believer in me for so long now, and you have taught me to believe in myself as well.
Buck, the courage that you show me each day, makes me repeat to myself that I need to be thankful for what I have. Patty, you have brought kindness to me through your words.
Granny, you have managed to lift my spirits with your words. Kathy, you have shown me that it is alright to stand up for what I believe in.
Brian, you have offered me friendship without knowing my name, and Rob, I owe you so much, for I am able to come to you with questions I have from within the bible.
Debbie, without your daily prayers, I may not have made it this far in life. Bonita, you have always been there for me, and what you have offered to Al in helping keep him here at home, I can never forget.
Diane, what a god-send you have been to me, never a day goes by without a comforting word from your heart. Ivonne, you have brought light to my day, when there was a film in my eye. Hope, you have such a way with words, you amaze me.
Apple, you have brought me much laughter with your tales of silly things you have done, like the story about the attic? Jomaid, you are one of my newer friends, but you are more like an angel sent to help me through a sad day. Dana, what would I do without your friendship?
Marilyn, not only have you been a dear friend to me, but you will always be a nice thought in my brother’s life, for what you have done for him. Share, I want to thank-you for your new friendship.
I am old and ready to go home, and I am sure I have forgotten a name or two, but please do not be mad, please blame it on my bad memory.
I am getting tired, and my journey has begun. God has given me the signal, and so I must stop now. One last time, I want to thank every single person who has touched my life and helped me to bring smiles to my brother’s face.
May God bless and know that I have requested from God a special table to be set aside. For one day you will join me, and we shall be together all once again, picking up our pens and writing again.
I love you all, and so for now, I bid you goodbye.
You have the chance to write one last post on your blog before you stop blogging forever. Write it.
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