Living is for the Breathing
Floating on the surface, waves gently passing me by. Fish tickling me as they swim by, life is…
Living is for the Breathing
Floating on the surface, waves gently passing me by. Fish tickling me as they swim by, life is…
Floating on the surface, waves gently passing me by. Fish tickling me as they swim by, life is good. Sun peeking out from foggy skies. I am alone. Only God is with me. I am forced to accept me for what I am able to do. I have to say hello, to hear my voice, but the only one who answers is me. Hearing the sound echo from the depth of my soul I recognize myself but never knew me before.
A tiny sperm helped mold me into the form I take today. Years of learning, hearing voices, recognizing right from wrong. Yet today I wonder if the decisions I make are right for me. While God is holding me above sinking ground I have no choice but to live or die.
Is one better than the other? Is death more beautiful than life? I have the opportunity to find out now, but no, I am not ready. Although many speak of glorious lights, golden paths, love being the air we breathe, how can that compare to what I see in my view today?
Would it make a difference if I could fly to heaven and see if it is what I have heard? Would it make living easier if I knew for sure something better was waiting at the end of the rainbow?
Could we live with our bad choices knowing the consequences will be short?
We live in the moment, we hope for the best. We error, we win, some times we weep in our pillow.
I have come to the conclusion that although there is fear of tomorrow and heaven is golden, we need what we are dealt with each moment here on earth. We would never appreciate the here after if our lives were not filled with tests.
One day my work will be done and God will call me home. I will look back in my own book and smile as I know I gave all I had to give. The mistakes that I made will have been done without vicious intention. Desires that I dreamed of, wishes that went unanswered were meant to be.
Life is good. Heaven is wonderful. I am here for a purpose and I will decide to enjoy the rocks in the road. The valleys I will climb out of. The choices I make I will accept.
Living is for the breathing, looking back we won’t see our footprints. We have no choice, we either live or we die. Hold on to your hope, follow your dreams, one day you will close the last page of your book and you will smile.
“Help me, help me” the lady screamed. One leg hanging out the window, her body in a position to…
“Help me, help me” the lady screamed. One leg hanging out the window, her body in a position to jump, but yet wanting to wait to be rescued. Can you picture this scene? We are in trouble and have no way out. We need help, we need to be rescued.
Have any of you ever been in this position? Have you ever felt like you had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn to? Does life just seem like it could not possibly be any better? Did you vision this was your last breathing moments?
Some of us get in this predicament. We live our lives the way we want and then when we can go no farther we scream for help. Is anyone listening? Does your mate, neighbors, families come running when you are in need?
Do you ever wonder when things get down and look real bad if anyone really cares? Does it feel like you knew at any moment the mouth of Jaws was going to swallow you completely?
I have, I am not ashamed to admit it. I don’t think life is fair all the time. I even have days when I wonder when is it going to stop. When is someone going to rescue me? I got myself in my own spots, my own jams.
I listened to others, who really don’t care more than surface caring. I have been so desperate that I would go to anyone who would listen to me rattle on. I quit doing this for the most part.
I still do have a couple of people who I can call day or night. They don’t always tell me what I want to hear, they tell me what I need to hear. It is up to me whether I listen or not. The one person that I am still doing battle with myself in the change department is going to God.
Why do you suppose we leave him for last choice? Is it because we can’t pick up our cell and give him a call? Is it because we are not hearing the words we want to hear? Maybe we just think we can solve it ourselves.
This is the area I am most guilty of. I am doing better but still forget. I was brought up with parents who always said, you made your bed, now lie in it.
In other words, I got myself in my own mess, now get myself out of it alone. This doesn’t have to be the way it is. We can keep ourselves from getting into many messes by doing our prep work first.
When we wake up in the mornings turn to God first. Even if we have a terribly busy schedule in front of us, we can take a moment and ask God to help guide us through our day. Heck you don’t even have to say it out loud. You can ask God from your heart while you are brushing your teeth.
God always listens. He doesn’t turn his back on us. We turn our backs on him. Yet, he never leaves us. I imagine tears falling from God as we once again believe we can do all on our own and go on our own adventures.
Over and over we have shown that we can do nothing without God’s help. I know what others say about God. We came from apes, we were just here, we were just born. It doesn’t matter what others think, for me, I know what I know.
God has shown himself over and over to me in so many instances. He has carried me through Al’s illness. He gives me strength when I am weak. He protects me from the mouths of evil people.
He has provided what I need. I may feel poor at times. I may worry about bills, food, taxes, friendships, relationships, but I have never truly gone without. Even on my worst times, God provided.
There was a time period in my life where I was so insecure you would not have recognized me. I trusted because I didn’t want to be alone. I was left at a motel with five dollars to my name and the first few days paid for.
I didn’t have any food stockpiled in my motel. My partner had the money and I trusted he would come back when he left to run an errand. It didn’t take me long to realize I had been left behind. I had nothing but a suitcase full of clothes and a weeks supply of medications.
I lived by eating my remaining snacks carefully, timing them out through the day. I watched TV and slept but mostly fretted. It came down to where I got sick. I wasn’t eating, my sugars were a mess.
I had no choice but to help myself fix things. Why didn’t God just sweep down and save me? Why did he make me suffer? He was waiting on me to ask him. It was that easy. I finally did that after exhausting every ounce of strength I had. I prayed, I cried and prayed.
I don’t know how I ever did it, but I walked out my motel door and started walking down the row of doors knocking on each one. Either no one answered, or no one cared or whatever the reason, no one helped me.
I hesitated going to the last door. It was piled with junk on the side-walk. It had garbage piled up out side, but I was hungry and I was getting sick. So slowly I walked up to the door and knocked.
The door opened and a guy took one look at me and pulled me in gently. He sat me at his table. As I discovered he was fixing me something to eat I looked around his room. I am not kidding you when I say his walls were piled high with boxed and canned foods. He had a college type refrigerator for cold foods and drinks.
He whipped me up some fried potatoes on his hot plate. He gave me a left-over slice of ham and a piece of butter bread. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I actually did in a way.
I died myself and gave my entire soul to Jesus. As I gobbled the food the guy said that he was afraid of people. He had some money put a way. He belonged to this church and he stock piled food. He lived through God’s blessings and God’s help.
I admit he sounded a little strange at times but he was sincere and a giant help. He was my angel sent from God. Every morning and night I would receive a knock on my door. There would be the guy with a plate of food, steaming hot and oh so delicious.
I ended up having the time to figure out what I was going to do. I started going with him to his church in his rusty rattly truck. With my angel and God’s guidance I came through this. I didn’t stay there too long. I received help when I needed it so I could remain in my motel.
I was able to reach out to others who cared and followed Jesus. I was so amazed at how poor I was and yet I had the biggest peace inside my soul that I had ever experienced. Now, today, years later, I fail God, who doesn’t? I have strayed but not far. I still try to fix things myself but then I have a V-8 moment and realize I have been counting on the wrong person, me. I then turn to God and pour out my heart and he has carried me through ever since.
This is like a fairy tale I guess, but it is better. We can each have this life. We can give up the constant worries, rid ourselves of our stress. We can do what I do most of the time. Mentally write my concern on a piece of paper and put it in God’s basket and then pray and then smile and continue with my day, because I know God will take care of everything.
One More Chance
Has death ever knocked at your door
And you said stay a way come no more
Did you refuse to give up…
Has death ever knocked at your door
And you said stay a way come no more
Did you refuse to give up the fight
And instead give it all and hang on tight
Did you see the light and heaven’s doors
Did you see the angels come into sight
Did you see your life flash before your eyes
Did you close your lids and wonder why
Did you plead with God for one more chance
To get up and walk and have one last dance
Did he hear you and say I will pass you by
I will let you live and not let you die
Did you get down on your knees and pray
And thank God for that grateful day
When you were allowed just one more chance
To hold life dear and not just glance.
Jake had been sitting in his boat for a couple of hours fishing. The blue waters were calm. The boat rocked gently as another boat passed his way.
Life had not been exciting for him. He had done good in school. He always listened to his parents. He was never in any trouble with the law. He was smart and yet no one had observed his potentials.
Part of him felt he was a cast-a-way. At times he felt like he didn’t fit in anywhere. He had never sparked a young lady’s eye. Was this what life was all about? Just living with no purpose?
He suddenly jerked up from his thoughts. He had a nibble on his line. His Mama would be proud when he brought home a fine supper. Watching closely his line start to pull tighter. He stood at attention ready to snag this meal.
With a jerk the line took off. Jake was fighting to keep a hold of his pole. He was struggling. The boat began to rock faster. Waves from the moving boat were trying to suck him in. He could no longer concentrate on his taut line as he was trying to hold onto his balance.
With a sudden jerk he was over the edge. The once friendly boat turned on its belly and his gear floated in the water around him. He thrashed through the waters trying to rescue his equipment he had saved for so long for. With one hand trying to grasp at floating objects, his other hand trying to turn the boat back over.
He was becoming tired. The nippy waters were hugging his legs. He took deep breaths as he went under the waters and then bounced back up. He yelled “help, help me someone”. No one heard him as he was too many yards from dry land.
Exhaustion took over his body and he felt himself slip slowly into unrealities of another world. He prayed quickly for a higher existence to save him. He quickly pictured his Mama and Papa and two sisters and mentally kissed them good-bye.
His body submerged beneath the waters; he became unconscious. How much time had passed him no one knew, by but when he came too he was lying in the bottom of a boat. Not his boat, but a strangers.
Someone had covered his wet body and he heard a voice talking to someone. He looked around him and didn’t see anyone else here. The guy flipped off the button on his walkie-talkie and looked at Jake.
“I just called shore-line and told them I was bringing you in. I saved your life son. You almost drowned” his rescuer said. Jake looked at him and said,” How did you find me”?
“I had been fishing back from you a ways. I saw your boat tumble and turn over. I hurried to you as fast as I could. It was no big task. Anyone could have done it. What’s your name son? My name is Kirby”.
“Jake” he said as he shivered and tried to sit up.
“Whoa there mate. Take it easy. Just relax. You had the life knocked out of you. Soon we will be back to shore and the pros can take a look at you”, Kirby said matter of fact.
For several moments no one spoke. Jake looked up at the blue skies filled with cumulus clouds. The sky seemed to go on forever and ever. Breezes were calm and the waters hitting the side of Kirby’s boat was all that could be heard.
” I heard you calling for help Jake before I ever laid eyes on your boat. Were you trying to drown yourself? Is your life that useless to you”?
Jake stared up at his face. He was thinking, if you were so far a way, then how did you hear me? I wasn’t talking to anyone particular anyways. I was just speaking to myself.
“What makes you think I would ever try to end my life Kirby? You said you were too far a way at first to see me. Did you hear me scream for someone to help me”?
“God heard your cry Jake. He used me as an instrument to come save you. I never heard your cries for help. God knew you really didn’t want to die. You just felt all alone and didn’t think you had any other place to turn”.
Jake looked at him and started to cry. Through sobs he explained, ” I feel like I have no place to fit in this world. I feel like a drifter, like no one notices me”.
Kirby said, “God always takes notice of his children. There is nothing you do or say that he doesn’t know. Do you know God”?
“Well yes, I have heard of him. He helps the sick people and even the poor”.
Kirby replied,” He helps all who ask in the sincerest of voices. He ignores no one. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor or even sick. He heard you, and now I am here. I am one of your guardian angels sent here by God to help guide you. You have been floating and missing the doors of opportunities God has left ajar for you. Now you will know with a little help from the one above which way to go.
There is one thing you have to do first though before any of this can happen”.
“What’s that Kirby”?
“You have to acknowledge God. You have to tell him you love and believe in him and that you trust him to walk you through life. It is pretty simple really. Instead of trusting your own thoughts, listen for God to speak to you. He has all of your answers”.
Jake began to seek the skies trying so hard to see God. He knew that he wanted what Kirby was offering. Words started to flow from his mouth. “I want this. I want God to help me guide me. I feel so lost. I can not do it myself any longer. I just mess up all the time. Can you help me tell God I want him to be with me”?
Kirby stepped closer to Jake. He knelt down and took Jake’s hands and folded them into his. ” Dear Father, this young man is ready. He has been lost and now he wants to be found. Cover Jake with your love oh Lord. Bring him comfort and peace. Let him always know you are here with him. Jake, do you believe there is a God”?
” Yes I do” the young man replied.
” Then repeat these words. Father I love you. I want you to come live in my heart and soul. Be my provider and my guide from this moment on. Let me listen for your words. Let me feel your love around me”.
Jake repeated each word Kirby had said. Suddenly he felt lighter. He felt no shivers rippling over his body. When he looked at Kirby he was looking at him with a grin that spread from cheek to cheek.
A renewed strength seemed to take over. Jake was ready to tackle the world. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Kirby and said,” Thank-you, thank-you so much for saving my life”.
” Don’t thank me young man. Thank your Father. For without him you would be lost, lost to the seas”.
I am shocked to see myself writing one more blog for this day. I fixed supper and just did the dishes and have now sat down with my steaming cup of coffee and someone placed a thought in my head and it has been prompting me to write. I have no idea as to how this will turn out in the end, but I am going to let God, since I think he placed the thought there, guide me through this. If it is not good, blame it on?
The thoughts that are going through my head are how did I ever do it? How have I ever made it in this life? Did I really want to take credit for where I am today? My head bows done in shame, as I know I have had moments where I have said, Yes! I did it!!
Why does God continually place people in my life that are not believers of God? Why do I still my voice, when they are around, instead of making the break in the conversation, and turning the topic to God, so that I may be a witness for our heavenly Father.
Why was I given the task to take care of my brother, when I was finally free from an abuser, and had the whole world in front of me. I could choose what ever road I wanted to travel, but I was given this road.
I am not a professional writer, and no one knows my name or works, except you here on WordPress, and yet I hear from several, that I am helping them to stay strong, or help them to stand strong for God.
I am nothing without God. There are many that do not find this to be true, but I do believe it. I don’t have to convince anyone that my faith is the one to follow, but it is my responsibility to act and perform in life in a way that is pleasing to God.
I am where I am because this is the place God has put me for this moment only. People that have crossed my paths are there for me to help them, and through my daily walk with God, I am much better at talking about God to anyone, than I used to be. I am not ashamed of God at all, but my insecurities of not fitting in, is what has kept my voice still in the past.
God is good, God is wonderful. He brings me through trials that I have tried to fix myself and could not. He has shown me that I need to lean on him. He has proven over and over to me that he is the way, and that he is here for me because he loves me and wants my best.
He died on the cross so that my sins can be forgiven! How fantastic is this? Have you ever known a human life that has actually laid down his life for just you? I have heard the words from some, but none of have ever followed through.
I am not lucky, I am loved and blessed. I didn’t survive that bad storm because I prepared the yard for security. God isn’t finished with me yet. He still has work for me to do.
I say a big YES, to God. When it comes to heaven or hell, I choose heaven. I want to thank God for all that he has done for me, how he has protected me and loved me. I want to thank him face to face.
Alright, I feel a calmness now. The thoughts have been spoken, the brain is calm. I don’t still know why I wrote this, but I feel that God is trying to help someone out here in the world, and he is using me to spread his word and love.
You can see the patterns in the sky of God’s travel all over the world, watching out for each of us, staying near our sides, never leaving us. The glow in the distance is proof that he does live, leaving brightness in hope, and a warmth that we can remain in while he takes our worries away. The small entry hole in the tree is his love that is shining through our hearts, as we speak to others about the wonders of God, also taking away the darkness of unbelievers, letting in a bit of light and hope into their empty hearts. The shadows cast past griefs and sorrows, pains and despairs that God has already healed. The zipper in the sky is our entrance to heaven, where we will be greeted by our heavenly father. Our hearts and faces lift to the sky and imagine us being lifted from this life right into the unzipped layers of another life, that we can now only dream and imagine about. My Lord, I give you thanks for the trials and tribulations that you place upon my heart. For without these, I would learn nothing. I would not learn to place my faith and hope in you. I would be wandering this world in gross confusion. Before, I go on my way, I glance upwards one more time to the zipper and smile, letting God see the love that I have for him. I will be in your arms one day soon, my Lord, as soon as I am finished with the work you have given me to do.
Dedicated to Bonita
Every time I am on a beat myself up trip, for not making Al smile, or forgetting something that he wanted, or oversleeping, or what ever it may be, I try to remember that I am loved by God and forgiven by Jesus. I know that I can never be perfect. I realize I can not please everyone who wants something from me. Sometime I have to say no. I am not worthy of anything in my life, yet I am also so blessed for just being myself and loving my almighty God.
I found this video one time at Easter, and have saved it for my own reassuring that I am alright. I am loved, even if I have no companion with me.I am loved, even though I make lots of mistakes.
Please let me share this special video with you to show you who you and I can always count on in our lives when the chips are down, or when we are sad, or feel overwhelmed and stressed. Please copy and paste and watch and listen.