The Pandemic Battle Curse


I don’t know your age and maybe it doesn’t matter much when we speak about the lack of moving due to our pandemic.

I can’t believe I have been pretty much in my home since March of this year. It has been long enough now, that it feels normal to me, but what doesn’t feel normal is the aches and pains I have.

I am pretty sure that some of it is due to my age and the other part is due to lack of movement. I have aches in my knees and hands and sometimes hips. I think there are also days of slight depression as I argue with myself about getting up and moving. I am really good at making excuses up.

I don’t stand very well. It’s way too hot outside. I don’t feel good today. I’m tired. I’ll do it tomorrow. Have you said any of those things to yourself? I am not talking about an exercise program or running a five k.

I’m talking about just beginning to do some stretches here at home with some music in the background. This is when I think I realize I have depression days. A time where I know what is best for me but a matching excuse on why I can’t.

It is summer time and each summer for the past three, I have had issues with swollen ankles. My doctor says that as long as the swelling reduces each morning, there is no reason for alarm. Maybe if I moved more, I wouldn’t have this issue. I’m not sure, but if you watch TV or read articles, living is all about the exercise.

The bad thing is, I never liked exercising unless it was fun and others were involved. I love swimming and used to do that a lot until the lakes around my area became more polluted. There is the YMCA and I tried that too but didn’t enjoy it so much in the summer as the pools were packed with kids and I didn’t like being cold in the winter after leaving the building from exiting the pool.

I used to love to take walks. I actually miss it a lot. It isn’t fun to walk any longer as it is more work than pleasure because of my Ataxia. I can remember as a youth, I loved to play tether ball and bad mitton. Did you ever play either of those?

After reading back my words, I believe I am too used to sitting and a bit depressed and not very energetic. Shame on me. This is one area that no one can fix but me. It sucks when we realize the truth and then battle with ourselves on what to do with that truth. I hope that you are dealing with this pandemic much better than I am. Hopefully, one day it will be over and we can go back to our old normal.

Now, let’s talk about that weight gain throughout these months of the pandemic. No, on the other hand, let’s not. That’s a whole other story.

July 4th, a Real Firecracker


July 4th, a Real Firecracker

On a hot summer day many moons ago, I could hardly breathe. Walking was a struggle. My face was red. I was sweaty. It was only early morning and I already wanted to go back to bed.

I was restless; nothing seemed to satisfy me. I went to visit family and complained most of the time how I felt terrible. It didn’t help when those I complained to agreed with me about how I looked and felt.

It was…

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July 4th, a Real Firecracker


On a hot summer day many moons ago, I could hardly breathe. Walking was a struggle. My face was red. I was sweaty. It was only early morning and I already wanted to go back to bed.

I was restless; nothing seemed to satisfy me. I went to visit family and complained most of the time how I felt terrible. It didn’t help when those I complained to agreed with me about how I looked and felt.

It was July 4th. I should have been in a wonderful mood. Fireworks that evening. A planned picnic. I didn’t even want to prepare the foods I was supposed to take. Wow, was I crabby.

I went in the bathroom and looked at the full-length mirror and shuddered at what I saw. What a blimp I was. I looked like an over-sized whale. Maybe I should consider going on a diet; but that sounded like a terrible idea.

Maybe some exercises? Oh my gosh, what would happen once I got on the floor and couldn’t get up? Was the  local crane company going to have to be called to help me off the floor?

I looked pathetic. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I just wish things would change for me. I said a tiny prayer, asking for a miracle to  happen.

Well someone heard my plea. Within one hour, I kid you not, I was at the local hospital, and had given birth to my second son. What a firecracker baby he was. No pain, nothing. A tiny bit of spotting, a call to the ER and a visit produced a fine, healthy baby boy. I smiled.

Happy Birthday Ryan. Mom loves you so much.

firecrackerfirecracker 2American Flag

 

 

 

ryan

 

Daily Prompt: ______ is the new ______


http://dailypost.wordpress.com/, DP, Daily Prompt

Click over to your favorite blog, and pick out the 4th and 14th words (that aren’t “the” or “an”). Drop them into this phrase:

 

“_____ is the new _____.”

 

There’s your post title. Now write!

 

Photographers, artists, poets: show us BLANK.

I am not going to say which blog I went to. I do not have one favorite, I have many, so I just went eenie meenie mino mo.

The words are; struggled and colors.

Struggled is the new color.

Now this is some sentence to work with. Come on brain, get ticking. I sit here with squinted eyes, staring at the screen, scratching my head thinking.

Oh, well that didn’t take long. I am writing this prompt from my own view on my life.

Struggling with losing weight, not wanting to eat sweets, not wanting to exercise, not wanting to pull a way from my life on the computer, and smoking.

These are my worst struggles and if I should look at a nice new box of crayons I would say the color is somewhere between gray and black.crayons sweetscigaretteaddictedtointernetexercising-cartoon

These are my nasty habits of life. Oh I am sure I have many more, but these are top-choice, prime beef and high rated.

What to do. The media causes me guilt. All of these topics are super sensitive to me because everyone around me is saying, You naughty girl. Shame, shame, shame.

This next statement makes me choke. I am going to go back and read what I wrote and I am going to see the next sentence staring in my face like a gun getting ready to go off.

I don’t want to change anything right now.

There I wrote it, yes, I read it back and it made me want to run for the hills, because guilt is now seeping into all my open crevices. Attacking my conscience and I was  having such a wonderful morning today.

I don’t want to work on these goals when Al is not here. I want to enjoy the computer and write until my fingers turn black. I want to skip the basic food groups and just grab a quickie. I don’t want to waste one moment of time I  have for alone time.

I do get some exercise, I can’t say I am 100% bad. I do laundry. I scrub toilets and tubs. I push Al in his wheelchair daily. I cook and sweep floors. I use my arms and hands to steady Al’s weight whenever he transfers. I sweep dead leaves from the ramp daily so we don’t slip and I fall and while I am down I am watching Al go racing down the ramp. Oh wow, that sentence gives me the shivers. Watch out! Incoming run-a-way wheelchair.

As for my weight, I lost one hundred pounds a few years back, and I just teeter on the totter on the scales. One week I gain a pound the next week I lose it. I will eat sweets, but I do it differently today than I used to.

Now I take one bite, two at the most and stick it in the trash can. I tasted it, I thrilled from it. I screamed with delight. Before, I would have eaten the entire sweet. I also rarely use an adult dinner plate when I eat. I use the medium size. My plate looks full but my mind is fooled. This is a hard one to pull off because rarely does my mind get tricked.

The smoking issue, well that is a dead ringer for it ain’t gonna happen right now. I have tried before because deep inside I really do want to quit. But each time I tried to stop, when I went back, I smoked more. If I continue to keep trying when I don’t want to quit right now, I will be smoking a carton a day.

So I am putting that off. Stress and sadness and  the fact my brother is so ill, is a reason for me to continue smoking for now. So that is case closed, door slammed, and no arguments from me for now.

Saturday my internet shut down. There was a message I had never seen before. It was yadda, yadda, yadda, but all I could see was I didn’t have my computer. With suggestions from my daughter, I turned it off safely.

I waited a while and tried turning it on again only to hear this ticking sound. Louder than any clock. I turned it off again and waited longer. My daughter then got on here and turned it back on and it was like she is in the wrong business. She had it up and running.

The fact is when you think of something long enough, it does happen. I have been pondering on my computer. It is five years old. I did have it rebuilt and updated this past January, but nothing last forever, right? So there, I cursed myself. I thought about it too long and then it messed up on me. I don’t know how in the world I will ever go without my computer.

It is my life, my silly string to the outside world. It allows me to chat with so many, continue to heal through my writing. And the friends I have made, is just so Wow, Wow, I couldn’t give any of this up. I would just need a tower but that is probably the most expensive piece and as far as prices I want a tough one, not a generic one, so I better start saving my pennies.

Well now, I am done stomping on myself. When I go back over my words I don’t see anything so gross that I am going to lay down in my pretty pillow-top coffin. I think I will change those colors of gray and black and change them to a drab blue color.blue rose

 

Exercise That Trunk!!


English: A dumpsters in the rural area of Jordan.

I did it! The sun was shining, the skies are blue, and it is a big 36 degrees outside. I could no longer resist. I put on my heaviest sweat pants and a big bulky sweatshirt. Put my kitty cat hat on so my ears were totally covered and my coat. Slipped on my winter boots and went out and started the lonely car.

I am surprised it started as it is used to having attention paid to it. It started right up so I let it warm up while I went inside and gathered the trash and all the loose rugs. I took the rugs outdoors and let some fresh air sink into them. I got in my car and felt slightly out-of-place. Should I give up my license since I have not driven for so long? LOL.

I put the car in drive and let it lead me to the main dumpster areas and got rid of the trash. Then I visited the mail box at the center of the park. I got the mail. I was afraid to open the mailbox as maybe the mail would fall out onto the ground, but it was cool.

One day earlier this week my neighbor went to get my mail for me, but you know how junk mail can over take a tiny box.

Oh the fresh air. Oh how I let if fill my nostrils. So crisp and clear. I am not well enough to open my mouth and take all of that fresh air into my lungs but I sure wanted to. I didn’t run around or anything. I was good and came straight home.

I patted the dash-board and told my car I would miss her but I would be back soon and then got out and locked the doors. I came back inside and I was a little sweaty. Probably because I have not done much moving around for fear of coughing. As long as I felt good I went ahead and swept my bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen.

After this I brought in my rugs and put them back in their familiar spots. I had to end up washing up as I was a little clammy by then. I got back in my house coat and slippers. You know this outfit is beginning to feel almost too comfortable.

I am so proud! My house is cleaner than yesterday. I got some fresh air. I visited my car and the mailbox and even the trash dumpsters. See how little it takes to amuse me? I have coughed some but not too bad. That’s it for the day. No more excitement, but I can definitely tell healing is taking place.

Please be careful of whose air you inhale. You don’t want this. It causes every muscle in your trunk area to become exercised and very sore from constant coughing. It does very little for sleeping at nights. I have learned to sleep sitting up and have become quite good at it. I don’t know if this type of weird bronchitis could become fatal but I am so thankful I am not in my seventies and eighties. So take care of yourself and don’t go down the road I have. It is definitely the wrong turn.

Daily Prompt; Quote Me/ The Daily Post


http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/daily-prompt-quote/#like-12779

Do you have a favorite quote that you return to again and again? What is it, and why does it move you?

I used to have a favorite saying

I would think on this as I was laying

On my bed so late at night

Waiting for sleep and morning light

I read it somewhere long ago

It was in a book tis all I know

Don’t put off  til tomorrow  what you can do today

These are the words I would always say

Keep the mind sharp and body on the move

Don’t get slow, don’t lose your groove

I have let it slide a bit for now

As I concentrate on learning how

To realize that I have done real good

On taking care of Al and his moods

Slowly I am learning another way

To occupy my time and day

Learning who I am all about

Wanting to sing and give a shout

Hi neighbor, hi friend and hello class

Wearing a smile, as I shrink my __ss

I have made the start I am here to say

Digging up the old me I am on my way

Today is the day  I am going to say

Don’t put off til tomorrow what you can do today.

Terry Shepherd

01/04/13

HOPE

 

 

Raise Your Glass!


I saw this photo on my Facebook and it reminded me of myself, and what I have been trying to tell my children of lately.

I am not what I used to be, but I keep trying. I can’t move the furniture like I used to. I can’t run anymore, unless I want to break an ankle.

My son will come down and lift something with one hand, and hint that I am a weakling. What he doesn’t realize is that before I asked him for help, I had already spent much time on trying to pick the darn thing up myself. It is like a slap in the face by my age number, that I have to realize I am not 21 anymore.

It was the funniest thing last fall. I was at Wal-Mart and I saw something that reminded me of my youth. A hoola hoop. When I was young I used to play with one for hours. I could walk with it moving, dance with it not falling. I felt like a kid, so I spent the five dollars and bought me one. The next day I took it outside, and I spent quite a bit of time, trying to get it to move, to flow without falling beneath my knees. My hips are bigger now then when I was young,so the stupid thing should stay in place. After trying and trying, I had to come to the conclusion it wasn’t the size of my hips, it was that the hips had gone stiff. They would not move gracefully, therefore, allowing the hoop to drop to the ground over and over. I got more exercise bending down and picking it up then the actual moves for the hoop.

Will I be able to let go of things I do now as I age? My mind says I can go for ever, but when I see the photo above, I may have to be told, Mom, give me the keys.

We need to keep our eyes on the Lord above, that he will fill our minds and souls with new experiences. He will need to teach me patience, as I am forced to admit that I can no longer be safe while driving, that I may hurt someone by not being able to brake quick enough.

Growing older is supposed to be wonderful, entering the golden years.  I say phooey to this. I don’t want to grow old. I don’t want to others to drive me where I need to go. I want to keep my youth, but I may have to be content with my wonderful memories instead.

I say raise your glass to spunk, vitality, laughter, love and life! Hip hip hooray!!