Roseanne is making some noise in the background while I sit here. The episode that I am listening to perked me up enough to actually let my fingers rest and turn my eyes to the television.
The family is having problems, but when aren’t they? This one is based on a family in the eighties trying to make IT work. Overtime is the issue. Although Dan and Roseanne realize the overtime will help it also trickles over into what to do with the kids. How do we all get fed and who is doing what on the house chores category.
They were all in the kitchen discussing options when Dan realizes Becky isn’t present. He calls her so she is involved also. That is the point where I was having my own flash backs in my life.
I went back to when I was around the age of 10 up to the age of 15 or so. There were only one set of rules at my house. They were known as the Parent Rules. I had no choices in some matters of the house.
I was expected to babysit my baby sister. I was expected to clean the house. Do the laundry and ironing. I was expected to cook what ever mom had laid out in the morning. It was a known fact that I should never come home with less than a C on my report cards. I would never be called down to the school office or I could expect worse when I got home. My parents picked out the style of clothes I wore. I got to pick the colors.
Bills and finances were never discussed in front of us children. Mom and Dad discussed everything that had to do with our family behind their bedroom doors. I never heard screaming or arguing between the two until I was around 17. This may also be that I was older and more in tune with sounds other than from my record player.
There were no family meetings. Where we ate or went in the car was always my parents decisions. We just went along with no questions asked. Our family was not run like a tight ship but it was not an open family either. We were good kids and we had good parents.
But seeing this show helps me see how much life and families have changed. I remember somewhere in the eighties kids were no longer considered kids to parents. They had a new title called friends. Parents were wanting to be friends with their off spring instead of the leader and tour guide.
I wonder what I would have thought if my parents called us kids in for a family meeting. Maybe it was the yearly house insurance bill that was coming due. Would they ask us to give up something in order for them to make that big bill? What would we think? Would we understand?
My parents figured out everything. I grew up thinking that our family was above others. We had no problems. We had no money issues. We lived in a very nice home. We went to church every Sunday.
There were no classes in high school in my day that taught budgeting or finances. Nothing to teach me about saving for an apartment. How to pay the utility bills. Was having a phone a luxury? Or was having enough food to buy groceries more important?
I learned a lot through many mistakes how to make money and time work for myself when I left the family nest. Would I have gotten married later than sooner if I knew more about how life worked? I don’t know and it doesn’t matter now. None of us can go back and change what has already been done.
So I am asking you these questions. Do you think it is better to be more involved as a youth in family matters concerning money? Should kids be able to see that money can be a juggling act? Or should kids be kept hidden like we were? Last question is should parents be the tour guide or the friend?
That last question always makes me ponder. I look at the troubled teens today. Many are brought up to raise themselves. The drug issue is definitely bigger than it was in my day. I am not saying there wasn’t a drug issue then. It is bigger and many more types of drugs now than ever. Easy access seems to be a big issue.
Where do these kids get all the money to buy these drugs and even the guns? Were drugs discussed in the home? Were gun dangers taught at home? I never knew about guns really. I knew they were used for hunting. Drugs were for medical illness.
When I was 17 I learned the most about illegal drugs when a student in my graduating class overdosed and died. Anything else I learned was from head line news or people talking. Along with drugs and guns is now a bigger issue than ever, bullying.
So in closing of my thoughts what should be taught at home versus our schools and friends?
- Thanks Mom and Dad – From Your Gay Son (myinnermostthinking.com)
- Sad when you can’t even trust family… (lawandarock.wordpress.com)
- Parents, Just Say No To Sharing Tales Of Drug Use With Kids (npr.org)
- Roseanne Barr: ‘Arm the women of the world’ against rapists (twitchy.com)
- CAMPANELLA: School choice and kids’ safety: Preventing bullying (washingtontimes.com)
- Don’t Dish About Your Past Drug Use to Your Kids, Study Finds (abcnews.go.com)
- Roseanne the series seasons 1 thru 8 are available on DVD (kevinhunter.wordpress.com)
- Hey Parents, Don’t Tell Your Kids You Did Drugs (livescience.com)
- Half of Adult Children Think Parents Made No Money Mistakes (drhiphop85.com)
- Friday Fiction #8: Home = Our Beliefs about Love (susannenelson.wordpress.com)