If you think that you can fully trust anyone on earth besides our heavenly Father, I am here to tell you first hand it is not so.
Everyone has a deep secret in their lives that they don’t tell anyone, except maybe their best friend. I have one of those too, but after being sick to my stomach, and feeling the lowest I have felt since my father passed away, I have to write it down, or go crazy. I have had terrible thoughts today, the worst I have ever thought. I don’t want to make any foolish mistakes and hurt my brother or my children.
I will shorten the story and leave out details that will only drag it on.
When Al and my father passed away, my father was involved with a money hungry lady. Soon after they were involved he found out he had leukemia. Immediately, she would tell me behind his back that she wished she would never had met him. This hurt me so bad. This was my father she was talking about, and naturally, no one ask to get ill. I took care of him the whole year he was sick and also had to listen to her cut him down, but I kept quiet, because dad was afraid if anything was said, he would be sent home to die alone. He lived in her house this whole year. I took care of him physically and medically, and she fed him and lent him her home.
For her credit, I will say that she was a lovely woman to look at, but her tongue was wicked, and she always knew what to say to each person to make easy friends.
When dad died, the little bit of family I had left turned their backs on us. They wouldn’t speak at his funeral, and during the funeral there was too much personal talk being said about their personal lives.
I decided to take care of Al after he had his heart attack, and have continued this care for almost five years now with no words or hugs or concerns from the few family members left.
Now that Al feels like his time is almost near to leave this earth, I have already told you of the request that he wanted to visit the cemetery. What I didn’t tell you, was the other part of the request. He wanted the two aunts and our sister to know that he was sick.
This is something I battled with. I knew the anger and hard feelings that had never healed, and yet here was my own brother, wanting his family to know that he was dying, or at least he thinks he is dying. Who am I to judge.
After two nights of terrible dreams, waking up in sweat, and hardly any sleep, I decided to honor his wishes. I started with our sister. I went to her, and it was awful. She cussed me out, screamed, and basically told me where to go. I told her why I was there,that it was at the request of Al and she said nothing.
You are probably thinking why does she feel this way about you? Why would she be so angry? What did you do to her?
Without getting to technical, it is over money. It has always been over money. Money can tear families apart. Wills can make some people turn into crazy people, and this is what happened here.
Now I have done what he has asked for one person, our sister. I have not had the guts to tell him how it went, so have said nothing yet. I don’t even know if I can continue this to the two aunts.
What hurts so bad for me personally is, no one has offered to help with Al. No one calls on his birthday, no one calls to see how he is doing. Money has come between us all.
Now I have to consider what to do next. Get a hold of the other two? Ignore Al’s request? I don’t know. So when I say that there is only Al and me left of our family, I now know it is not words, it is so.
I will continue to care for my brother for as long as I can. I will love him and protect him and watch over him. God will let me know in some way when he wants me to place him, and so no matter what is said, I will continue on, because he is family, he is my brother.