Daily Prompt; Say Your Name


http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt

Write about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?

Photographers, show us  YOU.

For someone who was born without being wanted, my parents spent some time arguing about my name. My real name is Teresa Jane.

My Dad wanted a boy, at least that is what he told me through the years. He changed my nickname to Terry and spelled it like a boy.

My Mother who turned her back on me most of my life, wanted me named after her best girlfriend. I assume her name was Jane. She also thought that she had given birth to someone very special. So she named me Teresa.

Years later at the point I stand on this ground now, I am well-known as Terry. Still many ask me how do you spell it? Terrie, Terri? I always say the same thing. My Daddy wanted a boy so I got spelled like a boy.

Strange that he got his baby boy, and decided he was ashamed of him. He did everything to stay out of this baby boy’s life emotionally. I do know that my Dad was a good man. He had poor ways of being taught how to handle difficult decisions. He basically ignored problems and hoped they would disappear.

When I met my real Mother at 36, I had to wonder why the name she chose for me was such a big deal. She threw me out on the streets the first time I went to visit her. You will never believe the reason why either. I have your curiosity peaked, right? Alright, the truth shall be spoken.

I was almost 2,000 miles a way from my own home. I didn’t know my directions at all. It was Arizona heat.  She kicked me out and locked the doors behind me because I drank the last of her Crystal Light Lemonade.

Wow, talk about emotions. I was angry at her for causing me great fear in the dark streets at night. I was crushed that a Mother could do this to her own child. After all through all of our snail mail letters, she professed her undying love for me. During phone calls before we actually met face to face her words were always the same, I miss you and have always loved you so much Terry.

So, what is this? You toss me out on my rear end to fend for myself? I ended up flagging down a fire truck and in short story, I was returned back to my home safe and sound.

You would think that would have cured me with the I know my Mother loves me.

But it didn’t. It took four more trips so many miles  a way from home before I finally got it. Not all parents want to be parents. Some parents still live in the infant stages in their mind. My Mother saw me as that two-year old or younger.

When she saw me face to face and I was all grown up, something snapped inside of her. She later told me the guilt of  what she had done to Al and me was just too overwhelming.

Yes, I would have to agree. Passing my tiny body around to strange men so you can make some money is pretty sick old woman. What else did you to Al and me that I don’t know about? You sure do carry a huge amount of guilt.

So wow, she and Dad exchanged all those words about what to name me and here I sat with a real Mom who never wanted me, and a wonderful Step-Mom who cared about me the best that she could, since I was not her own.

Al’s name must have caused no problems. He is the seventh in line and now the last to carry his full name. A piece of cake, and yet he was shoved a way. You would think to honor him with a name carried through generations of family men, you would want to show this little boy off!

So what is in a name? For me, I take now the names my grandkids and kids call me. My good friends and their pet names. Because this is what matters today. Who I am, how I fit in to others lives. Who gives a hoot what my parents named me and Al, it didn’t matter at the time.

terry when she was little

What Is Considered A Friend


This is for my friends, but especially for sha...

What is the definition of friendship;

Friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of other, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each other feelings. It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and not what he or she is looking in a good friend. Best friend is one who accepts the good as well bad qualities of his friend and also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. Friendship is a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, it is a relationship of immense faith and love for each other.

Friendship is all about how much you care and understand each other. It is a pure relationship, which would make your friend smile, feel good as to how much you love him and care for him. It is all about talking, listening and building up a strong relationship loyalty among each other. It is string of love which develops gradually with each others involvement. In certain cases friendship may not last for a longer period and might end up or lose its prime importance of love and regard for each other. There are some friendships which might end with unresolved conflicts and tiffs which means that these type of relationship were not so strong that could hold on their own in adversity and bad times. Friendship is not about merry-making and fun it involves equal loyalty from both the partners.

It should be understood that not all friends are best friends. One might come across numerous number of friends in his life but there are very few who will be their during your ups and down. How one should recognize your best friend the one who will understand your strengths and shortcomings and would be with you in all your good and bad phases of life.

A true friendship does not consist of a huge number of friends you keep but it is valued by its worth and capability to hold you and stand by you in all phases of life.That said finding a best friend from among your friends is the hardest task to do.A lot of people say that the best friends automatically come closer from among a group of friends and you will never have to make an extra effort to do find one. That is how the strong bond between true friends is formed.

Can you have a friend without ever meeting

Does this friend keep your heart beating

Do you have to see their face to see

Do you have to beg on bended knee

Can you accept the words they say

Can this type of friend brighten your day

Can your heart break when their days gone bad

Can you feel their joy and the pain they had

Do we have to know where others live

Do we need their history in order to give

Friends come in many shapes and forms

Not all are formed in the way of norm

Friends I have met here on this page

Friend I have made through a working wage

Friends I have known all of my days

All I know is this is what I need

To know that someone cares and planted the seed.

Terry Shepherd

01/21/2013

Thank-you to all of you who have decided to step out in faith and plant the seed. I have gone through so much grief, pain and sadness. I don’t know what I would do without you. Words of encouragement go far. Prayers are always accepted. Truth is spoken. The heart is touched. Healing begins. Faith is made stronger.

 

In The Shadows


dick mouse

A little mouse came out to play

So thin so ugly  not knowing the way

He always stayed inside and hid

He just wanted to remain a kid

His momma kept telling him he had to stop

Letting bad feelings go over the top

One day she told him he must go

He had to learn he had to show

That he was worthy of taking space

Among the world of the mouse race

She shoved him out the door just now

He found a corner his head did bow

He shivered he shook from the fear within

His confidence dwindling he wanted to go in

Then a long came a mouse who sensed this fear

He came up so close and very near

He asked what is wrong how can I help you

Tell me your story, let’s see what we can do

The little mouse poured out his heart

The other mouse listening not taking a part

He gave him time to say it all

He understood why he was about to fall

The other mouse asked if his story was done

The little mouse said yes my song is sung

The big mouse stands tall and inhales a sigh

He stands very close and wipes the others eye

He says I used to be the same way

Until a friend walked up one day

He explained that we can not be the same

We are born and we play the game

We can not all be nice and fat

There is always going to be a dirty rat

Who tries to tell us we are nothing

When actually we are really something

Be proud of who you are and how you look

Don’t go by any of those crazy mouse books

The truth is known you were made this way

So that you could help others have a better day

I learned this the hard way by getting beat up

I soaked in my pity in the old kitchen cup

I decided right there and then

That I would go out and I would win

Now I am happy with who I am

I walk with my head high and my gut held in

You can do the same my friend

If you will let loose and begin to bend

Accept that you are just as good

As all the mice in the neighborhood

The little mouse looked up at him

And with shyness he gave a little grin

Will you help me along this rocky road

Will you show me how to lift this load

Will you be my friend forever more

Will you help me walk proudly through the door

The big mouse said of course I will

Now let’s get moving let’s not stand still

Together the two different mice did stay

Good friends and are yet still today.

Terry Shepherd

01/19/2013

 

 

The Attack Of Social Media


Esperanto: Nostalgia telefono kun pseŭdodisko.

Do you ever feel like you do not fit in? You know, does your phone ring often inviting you to this or not? Does your phone ring just because someone is dying to talk to you?

I can remember when I was a kid and the phone seemed to ring off the hook once Mom got home from work. Friends from her work were calling or her and Dad’s friends were calling inviting them to maybe go out to eat.

When I got married and had three children at home, life seemed to be a big spinning top. There was something always going on. I had one and then two good friends that I did things with that included our kids.

There was always something going on. School activities, sledding in the winter, swimming in the summer. Taking the kids to their friends houses. Grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning the house.

Then one day the one good friend and I had a difference of opinion that led into a life long separation. I was down to one friend. The kids grew up and started lives of their own. I ended up divorced and I started tuning into more television crap and drama.

The television taught me that the excitement was  found in being with other people. Drinking, bars, parties seemed to be quite popular. The way I looked was wrong according to the social media. I was not thin enough or tall enough. My hair products were not good enough. The right brand of make-up was not correct.

The media taught me that all of a sudden I was not good enough. For a long time I took the sound box and made it my own. I became quite aware of what God had made had many errors from the outer view.

I went through the outer change of life. I doctored the outer surface of me. I changed my

Typical scene in a Danish quayside bar in Juta...

hair. Cut colored, tried a different look of clothing. It drew me some new head’s turning from some guys. The problem was that it wasn’t the right kind of attention that I wanted.

I tried visiting the bar scene a few times. With only ordering my diet coke I could not be the life of the party as some seemed to be. I finally quit that. I instead turned to the internet. Seeking companionship and new friends through various chat rooms. I talked to this one guy for over six months. Through an error in his chat a  looked over fact came to sight. I was actually speaking to a girl.

I hate being lied to. It is my biggest pet peeve in the whole wide world. It takes no time at all to give someone my trust, but it takes for ever to earn trust back. I dug myself in my work caring for others. I worked many hours. When I would go home to my box size apartment, there was my computer waiting for me. I went about my business of doing the shopping thing and visiting my friend, but basically I spent my time with myself.

Now years later, New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day are the two ultimate days when I think about how I am alone. Other than that I have pretty much determined that I like being alone.

There are times I wish for a date or someone to go out to dine with, I am not going to lie. Getting married is out of the picture for me. I don’t want the training of a mate anymore, lol. I like being my own boss.

Writing has introduced me to so many people. I have gained the friendship of many. I have been blessed to have friendships that have gone even deeper. Meeting each other, phone conversations.

I don’t know why the media is based on a number. If there is any of us who have the slightest doubt of who we are, we can fall prey so easily to the hype and start feeling bad about ourselves.

Thanks to writing I have accepted there are things I can change. I can change my health to a point. I can get this body more fit. I didn’t say thin or glamorous , but fit. I can lower my blood sugars. I can even change the style and color of my hair.

But the fact is I can not change what I was made up of. My genes, my thought process is pretty much mine. I own it. I have discovered that I don’t need lots of friends. I have a few real close ones. I don’t need to drink, because truth be said, I hate the taste of the stuff. I don’t need to fit in, because I was already made perfect in God’s eyes, so I fit in just fine in his eyes.

I like going to bed when I feel like it. I like the silence of my life. I get plenty of noise when I go see Al. I get laughter when my family comes to visit. My phone does ring and it is friends who want to just talk. I am who I am. I help others when I can. I actually think the social media almost destroyed me, but thankfully I saw the light before it was too late.

Today, I will tinker around my house. Maybe change my sheets. I will do a load of laundry. I definitely will write. I probably will take a nap. I choose not to go out today, unless I get an invitation. I boiled some eggs and will make egg salad for supper. I will listen to some Piano Guy music.

It is alright, in fact it is fantastic, to say the words out loud. To jump and yell yes! I love being me. I like who I am. I go through valleys and mountains of course. But what is great about it is I have all of you to stand by me through the disappointments and joys of life. How much better can it be?

English: Krakow - jump on the Main Square Pols...

 

The Versatile Blogger Award


versatile blogger award 2Lori has nominated me for this very pretty award. What is versatile? Variation, able to do many things in various areas.

This is quite an honor to me to think that someone thinks I am versatile. I feel like I ramble on about the same topics all the time, so thank-you Lori.

http://lorischulz.wordpress.com/

These are the rules for the Versatile Blogger Award:

  • Display the Award Certificate on your website
  • Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented your award
  • Present 15 awards to deserving bloggers
  • Drop them a comment to tip them off after you’ve linked them in the post
  • Post 7 interesting things about yourself

There is really nothing new to say about myself anymore. You probably know more about me than I do myself.

Nominations are;

Beyond Back Creek
BackCreekDesign.com

brianwilliamsen
brianwilliamsen.wordpress.com

Daily Prompt: 32 Flavors | Stuph Blog
stuphblog.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/daily-prompt-3…

SingleFocus
1singlefocus.wordpress.com

Kreon Led Lighting
pricebreaker.eu/en/lighting-270/all-brands-4029/k… x

paulaacton
paulaacton.wordpress.com

Arman
arman_khan@hotmail.com

sakuraandme
depressionexists.wordpress.com

behindthemaskofabuse
buckwheatsrisk.com

cshowers
burningfireshutinmybones.wordpress.com

Vickie Fulford
v.fulford@yahoo.com

Margarita
mysmallstillvoice.wordpress.com

mintedmoose
mintedmoose87.wordpress.com

 

Thank-you Lori!

Good News


Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars

Every little chance I see God working in our lives, I have to, well I am going to say, brag, scream, yell, and jump up and down and tell it to anyone who will listen! Today is one of those days my friends.

First of all, you don’t realize how important your friendship is to me. Without the friendship, I would have very little support system. Without friendship from all of you I would not get the abundance of prayers.

God listens people! He really does. Did you know that each time I write words on the blank pages, he is  helping me? He does. I am the tool and he is the source that I drink from. I know that there may be a few of you who think I am foolish, but I am who I am and I believe In what I believe. This is the way God built me.

Today I had a meeting with Al’s facility. The first week he was no longer considered a visitor, there was a suggestion of maybe getting funding to help Al. With Al’s mentality, he is one of the few who are part of their system. Al is also considered very young, when you glance around and see the other neighbors there.

With the creative mind of one of the staff, today I received an answer. I met with three ladies who announced to me they were giving Al funding to be able to leave his room and go out into the world.

Paid staff from another business in our local city will go two to three times each week and pick up Al and take him to lunch, to antique stores. He may even get to go to a basketball game or two. He will be going to small cities close by and getting to socialize with small church group activities. He will be able to make new friends through all of this.

The sad  thing is I could barely take him out anymore. I just didn’t have a van for his accessibility. I didn’t have four arms. I felt so bad that he was forced by me to have to stay home more and more. But now, starting February first, will be a part of the world and the fun activities.

The three ladies and I walked down to his room. He was napping but I nudged him until I woke him up. He didn’t put his glasses on, but instead sort of looked at me with those hazy, sleepy eyes. I introduced the ladies to him and told him why they were there.

He didn’t get it. He started to lay back down to go back to sleep. I explained it twice more to him and finally I said, “Bud, wouldn’t you like to go out to eat with friends? Wouldn’t you like to go to antique stores and ride in a comfy van instead of suffering to get into my car”?

When I said antique stores and coca cola collectibles, he sat up. He looked at the ladies and then he looked at me. I couldn’t help but start crying from joy, as his glum little face turned into the biggest most innocent smile I had ever seen, as he shook his head yes.

Thank-you Lord for giving Al another miracle! This  gift from you  will allow Al to face each day of pain with a little brighter star. I thank-you for your love that you give to Al and me. I can never repay what you do for him. I am so blessed to have a father like you watching out over us. You realized Al needed to be able to have something to look forward to each day and you provided the perfect gift. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart. Amen.

Burning Inside


The day went by without struggle

My mind was placed on rewind

The Christmas tree stared back at me

Leaving nothing but memories of time.

I get lost in the sadness of life

Like the hurricane’s middle eye

I don’t want to be like this tomorrow

I don’t want to lay down and die.

It was easy to remember the pain

Of December first five years today

When I held my daddy in my arms

And he quietly passed away.

Now dealing with Al’s illness

Is nothing I would wish on you

It sucks me in like a funnel

And takes joy and turns colors of blue.

Today is a new day for me

I am

387e sunrise in the clouds

taking my brother to lunch

I hope that he chats and has smiles

Instead of pain and a body that’s hunched.

I pray for my life to look brighter

I pray for the smiles to return

I don’t like how I have been feeling

I have to stop trying to yearn.

Life is what it is and I have to accept

I can’t keep looking back, but it’s hard

I need to look to my future

And play with the deck and each card.

Life is not always a joy as promised

It can be filled with bumps in the road

I carry pieces of each chapter

And now my body is on over load.

I pray for peace and comfort

I look at my God in the eye

I ask for another day

I promise I will also try.

To see the good in life, the past slip by, the sun shine bright, giving new fresh light, the love from you, shining through and through.

Thank you friends for bearing with me through my bumps in the road.

Terry Shepherd

12/02/2012

Daily Prompt: Last Words/ The Daily Post


I am lying here in my bed, covered all the way to the top to my chin. Others have already

Fearless

claimed me as dead, or surely, they would only cover half of me. I can speak, but the words come slowly, as my brain is taking too long to catch up to my lips.

I manage to grasp the handle of the bell and call an assistant to my bedside. I can not say goodbye to this world I have visited for the last 85 years, without letting you know that I am leaving, never to come back.

The young lady comes in and leans over my bed, and thinking I can not hear, she leans into my ear, and softly, without breathing, ask me how she can be of service to me. I tell her to grab that pad on the night stand, and to get the red ink pen lying beside it and to pull that chair in the corner over to my bedside.

Without questioning my motives, she does as I request, and comes back and sits beside me. We are so close that I do not have to strain my lungs, as I form the words from my heart.

I tell her to write what I say, and then to go back and check for all grammar and to make it right, as I am a writer, and errors are something that I treasure on not making. She pulls her glasses up from around her neck and slips them over her nose, and making a small line in the corner of the page, she makes sure the pen is working properly. She then looks up at me and says she is ready, I can start.

I give her a weak smile, and I do not waste valuable time, because I have been told a secret by the good Lord that I am going home today. I struggle but manage to clear my lungs, so that my words can be heard without much effort, and  my mouth opens, my lips begin to form words, and I can hear myself say.

My dear friends, I want to speak to you today to let you know that my time here on earth is about to end. I am going home today and I could not leave without letting you know what you mean to me.

I was in a position of losing myself while caring for my brother, and through your wings, you lifted me up in your arms, using your own lips and words to comfort me.

When God whispered in my ear to begin to write once again, he never told or explained to me the wonderful gifts I would receive from doing his work.

I was living inside of four walls, watching my  brother slowly fall away from me, while he suffered from his terrible illness, called Parkinson’s Disease. I became accustomed to hearing his pains, and hearing him calling out to his God, asking him to take him home.

When you hear this on a daily basis, it is easy to be sucked into another life, although you, yourself are not even sick.

The emotional turmoil that you suffer along with the patient, can without you realizing it, also take its toll on your own health.

But, writing and slowly letting you get to know my inner soul, has allowed me to slowly bloom into a beautiful flower, its roots ground deeply in your friendship and words of comfort.

The petals from my stem that I drink from come from you, my blogging friends. All of you have said something kind, or made me laugh.

I can not even say one name of anyone who has turned their back on me here. Each of you have brought something new to my life.

Viveka, you have taught me how to cook with little and yet wet my taste buds. Jo, you have spent many hours comforting me after others have gone turned out their lights.

Julie, you have shown me how to retain the strength that I have left. Tilly, you have been my bible, each night, as I look towards your blog, your words bringing me medicine for my soul.

Sandy, you have shown me that I must continue to move forth, to take one day at a time. Barb, you have been a believer in me for so long now, and you have taught me to believe in myself as well.

Buck, the courage that you show me each day, makes me repeat to myself that I need to be thankful for what I have. Patty, you have brought kindness to me through your words.

Granny, you have managed to lift my spirits with your words. Kathy, you have shown me that it is alright to stand up for what I believe in.

Brian, you have offered me friendship without knowing my name, and Rob, I owe you so much, for I am able to come to you with questions I have from within the bible.

Debbie, without your daily prayers, I may not have made it this far in life. Bonita, you have always been there for me, and what you have offered to Al in helping keep him here at home, I can never forget.

Diane, what a god-send you have been to me, never a day goes by without a comforting word from your heart. Ivonne, you have brought light to my day, when there was a film in my eye. Hope, you have such a way with words, you amaze me.

Apple, you have brought me much laughter with your tales of silly things you have done, like the story about the attic? Jomaid, you are one of my newer friends, but you are more like an angel sent to help me through a sad day. Dana, what would I do without your friendship?

Marilyn, not only have you been a dear friend to me, but you will always be a nice thought in my brother’s life, for what you have done for him. Share, I want to thank-you for your new friendship.

I am old and ready to go home, and I am sure I have forgotten a name or two, but please do not be mad, please blame it on my bad memory.

I am getting tired, and my journey has begun. God has given me the signal, and so I must stop now. One last time, I want to thank every single person who has touched my life and helped me to bring smiles to my brother’s face.

May God bless and know that I have requested from God a special table to be set aside. For one day you will join me, and we shall be together all once again, picking up our pens and writing again.

I love you all, and so for now, I bid you goodbye.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/daily-prompt-last-words/

You have the chance to write one last post on your blog before you stop blogging forever. Write it.

 

Daily Prompt: Set It To Rights/ The Daily Post


Think of a time you let something slide, only for it to eat away at you later. Tell us how you’d fix it today.

 

My mother that raised me was my step-mother. She started raising me when I was five years old. I don’t remember too much about those years with her, although I remember many good times with my grandpa. My mom walked into a ready-made family when she married my dad, and I don’t remember anything bad about our relationship, until my sister was born. I am sure I was jealous, and I made her life harder, than it should have been.

I never went out of my way to bond with her. I only saw her paying more attention to my dad and that new baby. There were many times that we got a long fine, and there were plenty of times when I could have been a better daughter.

When I finally grew up, we were closer because I was not such a brat, but still, the bonding was never there. I remember a few times it was mom, that was there when I was in trouble, and mom that understood my tears.

As I got older and older, I realized how ungrateful I was to her, and it bugged me that she had reached out to me for so many years, and I had not reached back. After a few more years went by, I came to know God much better than I had in the past,and I made up my mind that I was going to confess to mom my feelings, and how it was never her fault for our relationship fall outs, that it was mine.

When I told her she cried, and told me she loved me as well as she could. This hurt me bad, but I had it coming. I had never given her a chance. For the next two years, I worked hard at our relationship. I spent many more moments with her. I shared my own life with her, and I opened up quite a bit.

I am  forever grateful to God for helping me see my errors, because he knew my future. He knew that in those two years that I made great efforts getting to know my mom, was going to be a life changing experience for me.

One day at the end of that two-year period, my mother fell ill suddenly. I got the phone call while I was at my job, and I left immediately, and arriving at the hospital, I could tell that something was seriously wrong. Things did not look good.

My mother knew or sensed it too somewhere in her mind, because when she saw me, even though she was acting out of character, she started patting me on the shoulder over and over. I felt at that moment, that precise moment, she was forgiving me and hugging me like a little girl. She was telling me that it was alright, that she loved me. Right there I was so thankful that I had let go of my pride and had reached out to her, because seven days later, she passed away.

I have never once regretted making the choice I did. God knows our life, and he knows our future. He knew that I would never be able to live with myself, if I didn’t make things right. God is amazing, and he is real. There are many times I could sit here and write about events that happened due to God being by my side, but this particular time, sticks out more than any other, when I put my childish pride and jealousy aside and grew up, and appreciated what I had before it was too late.