Snap My Finger, And All Is Fixed

The good news is the medications are helping Al! They are ridding him of some of his pain. Al expected his tremors to be gone also, but I had to explain this was for pain only, and no medication would rid the tremors, sorry.

I took Al to a car show about a half an hour a way last evening, and this is what he was able to see.I think he had a good time, bu I know he wanted to be able to get out of his scooter and look at the engines, but we make do with what we have, right?

I am trying so hard friends to bounce back up on top of the ball, but I am still allowing petty things to keep me under the ball. I read other blogs, and they are so uplifting, and cheerful, with much wanted topics. Cookies, yummy, animals to be amazed at, friends who have a much more optimistic outlook on life, and I cringe and shrink back, thinking, I should put writing on hold until, I also, have more good things to speak about. I am not supposed to come here seeking what ever it is I sometimes seek. I am supposed to be an inspiration to others, lending a kind word, being productive. Instead, I find myself sitting in the semi-pit, and being still restless. I realize I need a break, and I am agreeing, I do, but getting a respite caregiver to actually come do the work being paid for is another topic.

I am sorry I have become a one-man circus, not giving much to laugh at, or an object of writing creativity, where you can not take your eyes off of each word.

I did want to share what Al got to do on  his outing, and to let you know, that his medications are working.

I am ashamed of myself for letting myself be beat up by obstacles that seems to hover and won’t leave. I am angry that I am struggling to find the good in my days, but hopefully, this too shall pass. I don’t know if god made me compassionate or sensitive, but I have learned through ignorance to take it too far. I have allowed little things to bother me, and I take too much personally. I need to toughen up and throw my hair to the wind. I need to let things slide off my back as oil runs through your engine. I need to be me, and I need to think of me, and quit trying to be everyone’s happy maker. I should be able to say if I don’t please you leave, if you want to change me, forget it, if you don’t like me, then be on your way. I think this is what I am battling inside, being accepted for me, and not letting guilt over take my decisions on the fear I will make someone unhappy. If I could just get away for a few days, like Jesus did, and go think and pray, I might be able to get this all straightened out, but for now, please bear with me, while I try to get this figured out.

My Brother’s Birthday Surprise From You to Him

May 3rd, is my brother’s birthday. To me this is a very special birthday, as he is not feeling that well any longer. His Parkinson’s and Dementia have slowed down his life quite a bit. I am no longer sure if he will be with me next year here at home or not. For this reason, I have made a special Facebook page dedicated just to him. I am going to print it off after his birthday is over so that he can keep it and read all the birthday wishes from so many loved ones. I want him to be able to look at it when he is feeling sickly and realize people care. Won’t you please help me by stopping by at the link I am providing and wish him a Happy 57? Just call him Al. Here is the link

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alvins-Big-Birthday/352177718171597

 

This will mean more to me than him I am sure. The memories will be for me to cling to in later times. Will you all please do this for me?

Thank you,

Terry

A blogger friend

Don’t Get Me Wrong, But I am Easy To Please

Update- This is the latest on the little boy that was 19 grams when we got him. He weighs 112 grams now and his eyes opened 8/24/10. To see him at 19 grams- http://www.flickr.com/photos/audreyjm529/4835953451/ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had a fun-filled morning. I took my brother to a first time visit to a dermatologist. I had never visited one either, so I was curious as to what we were in for. I had been mailed the paper work to be filled out prior, and we were there promptly ten minutes before our called time. It was a nice looking office. Clean. The ladies in the waiting room all had clear complexions, unlike me with my ugly moles. The receptionist was very pretty and nice. My brother noticed nothing. He was shaking to death, as they say, from his tremors. He was crying because he didn’t want to die.? I don’t really know where that thought was coming from. We gave them all proper identification, so they didn’t get us mixed up with some other name or face. We sat down and I noticed plenty of female attracting magazines with beautiful faces, and pamphlets for this issue or that. His name was called promptly, and we rose to go on. My brother stood there. I didn’t know whether to go over and drag him by the hand or just wait patiently. I chose the latter. He moved. Thank you Jesus! We went in to the small office. The tech was a high school friend of mine, so we played catch-up while putting more important information to paper. The doctor entered promptly also. I was highly impressed with this place. She was so nice. She talked smoothly and gently to my brother. She got down on his level, and comforted him with her words. I wanted to never leave. This was my type of doctor. No guilt being thrown at me here! He had been brought here from a grayish black area on his cheek, local doctor thinking it should be checked out. Praise God, it was not cancer. We or I was forced to move one leg than another and never to walk back into that office again. Sad. I treated my brother to lunch as a victory we had won at this visit. Home again. Comfort zone. He went straight to his bed for his nap. I left TV off,and listened to the wonderful silence, drinking my coffee, reading my emails. The front door being left open I heard a soft chatter. My ears perked up as I tried to diagnose what animal this was. I heard it a couple more times. I softly rose from my comfy PC chair and tiptoed over to the door where I could get a glimpse of what was out there. All winter long I had been feeding a family of baby squirrels. I had not placed any bread, peanuts, or feed for a couple of days. Immediately, I smiled. There was two of the babies, sitting on my front porch staring at me. Just sitting, doing nothing, but gazing at me first. I know, I know, don’t encourage animals near your home, but I always looked at it, if I was feeding them, they weren’t trying to get in my house through the roof somewhere, when I was sleeping. I turned around and got my bag of seed I had left and opened the door wondering if they were going to leave? stay there?. They scurried. They ran over and crawled up the bark of the tree, but they only went part way. I could see their little furry heads peaking around the corner watching and waiting for me to give them their treats. I went out in the yard, and tossed to the wind all I had left. I came back inside, and stood at the door. They  hurriedly scrambled from the tree and came over to eat. They didn’t mind if I watched or not. What they do not know yet, is I have a rather nice treat waiting for them, but it is still in the car. How they will be surprised.  I was blessed twice today. No sad news for my brother, and my furry little friends were there to visit. I am needed. I am needed by God, my brother, and my furry little friends.