Day After Christmas

Yesterday  was  the day for Christmas  sharing with my kids and me. I  always look  forward  to this event. The meal planning, making sure there is a favorite  of  each of my three kids sitting on the table ready to  eat.

Things can’t  be as they usually  are, when you  are no longer in your own  home, but I  tried my best. My legs didn’t  work well, which was a good thing as far as the  meal went. Our menu was based around  Stouffers, lasagna.

I had prepared  ahead of time the seven layer salad, deviled eggs, butterscotch  dessert  and fudge. The recipes  for these many year  return foods are:
Seven layer  salad

Fry up and break bacon. Layer chopped  lettuce, bacon, frozen peas  and shredded cheese. After  final layer, spread  a layer  of  mayonnaise  over entire  top. Cover and chill 24 hours. Stir and enjoy .

Butterscotch  Pudding Dessert

Mix 1 cup flour ,  1 stick butter  and  1/2 cup of  nuts. Mix and pat into 9 x 13 pan. Bake 15 minutes  at 350 degrees. While cooling ,  mix 1 cup powdered  sugar, 1 package cream cheese, 1 cup of cool whip. Use mixer. Pour this over crust and spread to edges.
Next, mix 2 regular  size instant butterscotch  or Chocolate  sugar free or regular pudding mixes with only 3 cups of milk. Pour over cream cheese  layer. Last, spread rest of regular  size cool whip over entire dessert. Garnish with  nuts. Eat and enjoy

The fudge recipe is on the back of the Milnot cans. 5 minute  fudge. I had baked a berry  pie and had Michigan  cherries.

My daughter  arrived late, which is  very  unusual .  She was ill and had went to the doctor. She had a sinus and ear infection  with no voice. I  appreciated  her coming, although  she belonged  under the covers. She brought  her daughter .  Her husband remained at his parents  home, due to health  issues with his father .

My daughter  in law  brought 2 of her three kids. It was  an alright day. It could have been better ,  but it could have been worse .  The afternoon  ended and near supper I received  an invitation  to supper, so I  accepted  and we went to Pizza Hut.

When I  arrived  home I went straight  to bed to rest my legs. I slept all night  and am now getting  ready to go visit my bestie for a few days. Sunday I  go back home.

So how is your  holiday weekend  going?


The Invisible Illness

I woke up with tremors this morning. Ths about told me what my day had in store for me. I ate my breakfast and went back to bed to fight the battle.

Fortunately these tremors didn’t eat up my entire day like they usually do. By 1, they were gone. Although they make me feel weak throughout the day, I am definitely feeling better.

I ate lunch. My son asked me to go with him to look for a set of glass firedoors for their fireplace, but I turned them down. I knew I would ruin their adventure sine I was too weak to keep up with them.

A lot of folks don’t understand illness unless they have experienced it or can see it. My tremors are internal. If i am having a real bad day, then the tremors will show externally through my hands, legs and head.

My son asked me if I was pretty much going to stay inside during my visit. I said no and tried to explain my tremors, but I am not sure if he understood. Afterall, I could stand and walk, although I feel I look a little under the effects of the bottle.

So I guess in the end I am asking for understanding. if someone turns down an invite, don’t take it personal. Lastly, just because you can not see the ailment, it does not mean it doesn’t exist. Have a great Fall day my friends.





What can I do

Who can I ask

When I don’t like

Leaving the past


Who can help

Keep my memories fresh?

When I look ahead

I can’t give it my best


You say I have a choice?

You say I’m making it too hard?

All I have to do is this?

You say I’m the one tarred?


Oh I get it; your words

I completely understand

I can accept what has changed

Carry the future/past in both  hands.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd




One Day At A Time

My girlfriend left this morning after I cried too many tears. She did so much in helping to get my mind off of what is happening.

It is bitter cold still. It seems as if this winter is never going to ease with the cold. I looked at the Farmer’s Almanac and this crap continues on through February. What a bummer.

The nurse came this morning. She took off the Texas Catheter and placed a permanent internal catheter in. He did well with it after being medicated for relaxing purposes. His hands were so swollen and he just wasn’t able to release all of the fluids so this is supposed to help.

I am so tired but even more so since my friend left. She never knew what a rock she was and how much I leaned on her. I am so glad that most of us have that rock in our lives.

When the nurse finished with Al she sat and talked with me for a while. She said that she thought Al probably had days, possibly a couple of weeks but nothing in months.DSC00183 Last night Rhino, the cat was getting in my friend’s knitting basket. He was fascinated by the yarn.

rhinorhino 2rhino 3rhino 4


Please Pray For A Quiet Release

Last night was rough for Al and for me. Hospice came and with a Tylenol suppository the fever was brought down. After getting Al as comfortable as possible she took me in the living room so we could talk.

The gist of the conversation was his heart is shutting down. There is nothing that can be done anymore. For the most part my hope is now gone. I pray for a quiet and peaceful release.

This morning Al has a fever again. The reason for the constant fevers is his body is shutting down. There is nothing that can be done for the swelling. He is complaining of not being able to breathe, so I am getting off of here.

I had many nightmares of death during the night. I had real tears. I am so tired but I must go on for Al. The caregiver just arrived. I will talk to you all soon. Please pray for a quiet release. Al has been a fighter all along but now he just needs to relax and go home.


The Vision

Short and sweet because I am trying to deal with what just happened. The only reason I am  posting is for your comforting words because I am weak.

Al and I have spent some wonderful quality time together tonight. But not all of it was good. He told me he felt like there was a big elephant on his chest. Then he told me he thought he was having a stroke.

I checked his vitals but they are not out of the ordinary of what they usually are anymore. Then he told me he saw trucks driving out of Egypt and in front of them was ladies with wings………………..