I was sitting here thinking of Al and remembering back to the times when he saw people. How lucky was he that he was able to see our parents and Jesus. Our mom passed away in 2000 and dad passed in 2007.
For those of us who have lost loved ones I suppose you and I are no different. Our hearts bleed and yet our love runs deep. Only the circumstances are. Al passed away from a terrible and rude…
I was sitting here thinking of Al and remembering back to the times when he saw people. How lucky was he that he was able to see our parents and Jesus. Our mom passed away in 2000 and dad passed in 2007.
For those of us who have lost loved ones I suppose you and I are no different. Our hearts bleed and yet our love runs deep. Only the circumstances are. Al passed away from a terrible and rude illness called MSA. This stands for Multiple System Atrophy.
It is a killer of an illness in more ways than just taking a loved one from us; but on the other side of the coin, beautiful things and multiple blessings can be found if only we become aware of the precious moments.
At my weakest moments as I would sit or stand beside Al holding his hand and tears running quietly down my cheeks, Al would whisper in that soft voice, “Do you see him?” I would look around, the tears would stop in fear he may notice them. Then Al would say, ” There, right beside you is Jesus.” What a beautiful thing to behold.
A gift for those getting ready to cross over from this earth to the heavenly hands of God. I can think of no gift here on earth that could rise above this one. For Al to see mom and dad is something I wish so many times that I could do, but alas, I must wait my turn for my life to be almost over.
I can not be jealous of something so cherished by Al. I can only be happy for him that he is united once again with our family. I have been able to start smiling a little as I remember those special times Al and I shared together. The tears still fall, but time is on my side and with God’s hand I am making it through each day.
Have any of you who have lost a special person in your life, like to share with me a special story that you remember while sitting with the one you loved? If so, I would love to read and be able to comment on it.
I am not trying to bring back sadness. I am trying to bring forth joyful times and smiles from your memories. We are close enough friends that it would be an honor for you to share with me some special memory that you hold dear to your heart.
And My Eyes…………
And my eyes rose to the heavens
And I saw a whirl in the skies
It opened my eyes
Flung open my heart
And my eyes rose to the heavens
And I saw a whirl in the skies
It opened my eyes
Flung open my heart
Ripped it out of my soul
Laid it out on the ground
And the dark shadows
Came scrambling after me
Ready to crush my belief
And tears rolled from my eyes
As my hands tossed up above
Please save me dear Lord
They are coming for me
And I don’t want to be
I am afraid my sweet God
Lift me from this sod
Pick up my beating heart
Place it where it did start
Lift me up in your arms
Please keep me from harm
And the skies did whirl
And the clouds they did swirl
As my God came to appear
And I felt him so near
I cried on his chest
And he gave me needed rest
And the clouds closed up once more
And God gently shut the door
And all was so right
As I was led into the light
I knew that I could
I knew that I should
Believe in him more
For now and ever more.
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
02.04.2014
360 Turn-a-Bout
Well, it was short-lived. A beautiful, magical 24 hours where Al was at peace with himself and the…
Well, it was short-lived. A beautiful, magical 24 hours where Al was at peace with himself and the world. But last night he did a 360. At 8pm he suddenly became confused. He didn’t know what day it was, nor time.
He was concerned whether Stacy, the caregiver would be here this morning. He was and still is restless. He says his hands are creeping and frozen. When he comments this, he is telling me his hands feel like they are moving and yet frozen in place at the same time.
The sleep I dreamed about getting two nights in a row didn’t happen. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all last night as he kept calling me in his room to repeat his fears.
This morning the caregiver came and she gave him a bath. I trimmed his moustache. She and I really doted on him but he just cried and cried. He was fearful of dying today. He has seen shadows in his room for a couple of days.
He hasn’t seen our parents or Jesus for some time. The shadows have replaced them I am thinking. He has me say a prayer for him each evening but this morning he asked me to pray for him. His request was for me to ask God to send Mom here.
I can’t pinpoint what the issue really is. Is he afraid of dying or is he afraid of dying alone. Other wise why would he have me ask God to send Mom here to help him go home. I have said about everything possible I can think of.
I have followed all leads that you have given me. I thought we had this whole thing licked when he was so calm and comfortable those 24 hours. I was just in there and I rubbed his arms. His veins are popped up as if he has been working on huge weights at the gym.
I am so hoping that as I am writing this he has drifted off to sleep as it is quiet through the monitor. He refuses to have any noise in his room and no light on at all. Pure silence is what he is requesting.
I know I am a repeater as of late, but I am coming to you once again to pray for that calm to return. I am asking you to say the same things I ask God for. To ease Al’s fear of dying and to let him go gracefully.
In my wildest nightmares that I have been having lately, I see Al screaming and crying as God is lifting him home. I don’t want this to be a reality. I am strong as you say, but I am no Super Woman.
So please stick with me friends, I am pleading for your help once again.
I can see myself in this picture. The sleek water, guiding me through virgin territory. Any where I look will be a new experience for my eyes. Cocooned in my little space of the world, breathing in crisp air, my lungs expand, spitting out debris that has been clogging my soul.
I need to feel alive. I wish to be taken high above the trees. I want to look down on the world’s problems and with one thought, all will be healed. Life is too heavy. I have carried within me all of your problems. I am now ready to toss the cloak aside. Feel the skin tingle, as new cell growth takes over the stale mulch.
I lift my arms to the heavens and yell loud enough; my pleas echo across the lands. Ears will tune in but see nothing. Minds will mimic another soul that was once lost and now is found.
Cheers will go up around the world as another heart is freed. I will stand up and with God‘s balanced hands I will praise his name for giving me the difficult tasks I have performed. I will see his smile and his eyes will reflect in my soul of how he is pleased with me.
Oh that I might toss aside these grungy clothes, and stand naked in front of this earth and be made new once again. To take my experiences, my memories and sift through them. Picking out the best, leaning over the side I will vomit the worst and I promise I will live once again.
And I will place myself in a fetal position and you will hold me next to your bosom. I shall drink new life. My skin will turn supple, my eyes will sparkle. My sponge will expand, allowing me to learn more of this wonderous life you have offered to me.
Oh but I was a wilted flower leaning from a firm root, but now my petals are to be envied as they give off rich color and a perfume that will force you to always remember me.
Yes, life is good, but before I could see it clearly, I had to be cleansed.
Who I am 