Daily Prompt; No, Thanks/ The Daily Post


Humpty Dumpty and Alice. From Through the Look...

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Daily Post, Daily Prompt, DP

Is there a place in the world you never want to visit? Where, and why not?

Oh definitely yes. There are places I would never want to visit within our world we live in. Should I name each one or pick a few. How about I just name the first ones that rise to the top of my mind. Already I can feel my thoughts  are bubbling like an Alka-Seltzer in a glass.

Anything taller than a chair is one area I never want to visit. Picture this; a woman gets on a ladder. The ladder begins to move and bounce as the legs attached to the feet become shaky. Each step higher provides more shaking until the old lay comes tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty.

The house that holds a  huge family of mice. First of all I could not get my fat body through their tiny door. When I think of mice I think of dirt and destruction. If I did manage to get an eyeball inside their hut would I see torn wire pieces? Maybe there would be droppings  of insulation that I recognize from my own home. I bet I would be able to pick out the sandwich that I left behind last night on the kitchen counter. Dirty birds, lol.

Another place I never want to visit is a bunch of meanies while I am out walking. I don’t want to have to beat up those kids in my middle-aged years. Wouldn’t that just ruin their pride having a granny beat the hell out of them?

I don’t ever want to run a cross anyone disguised as the devil either. I fight hard enough to walk this earth trying to be good. I don’t need any extra problems in my life. I have seen what the big bad wolf can do to a person’s mind. Look back at all the stories I have written about my brother Al. He has fought with himself  believing that Satan was sitting on his shoulder many times. Satan is strong but God is stronger, but why do the battle right???

Another place I will never venture into is a bar full of men. I suddenly become shy and insecure. I know without a doubt they are thinking to themselves, look at granny over there. She has her black plastic mini skirt on with an over the shoulder blouse on. Is that cleavage she is trying to show? Get a look at those flabby legs tucked into those go-go boots! Nope, don’t want to go there, no way!

Another place you will not find me entering is a flower shop. Oh it is so beautiful to stand on the outside, smearing their glass with my snotty nose, but put me in front of those flowers and my nose starts to itch. My eyed turn the color of blood-red, snot begins to fall and I have been known to pee my pants when I sneeze too much, so beware, no flower shops for me. Make sure you don’t send any of those dang roses to my funeral either. I am most allergic to them and I don’t want to scare the pants off of you by rising up out of my coffin and pointing my finger at you saying, “Didn’t I tell ya”?

Since I have worked in so many nursing homes I have always told the other staff, “Don’t ever put me in one of those strait-jackets”. Do you know what I mean when I mention those? They are stiff and white and they bind you up like super glue. If you have to scratch your butt or rub your nose you are out of luck. I don’t want to hear anyone saying I am crazy enough to cover me in one of those. I already know I am crazy different from others. I’m a writer  for God’s sake! I say I am unique but they say I am plum crazy.

The last place I ever want to visit is that big black hole in the ground. Do you see those icky night crawlers wiggling around down there? I saw some nasty looking spiders too. I swear there are tree roots down there big enough to wrap themselves around my poor helpless body. Please, make sure my coffin is sealed and double clicked shut before you cover me up for good. Don’t let them critters come get me now.

Awwww life is good isn’t it?????