Weekly Writing Challenge, My Funny Valentine
http://dailypost.wordpress.com, #DP Challenge
Valentine’s Day for me was never what I thought it…
http://dailypost.wordpress.com, #DP Challenge
My mother used to make me a Twinkie Cake when she was alive.
After I got married, I learned I didn’t have a romantic husband. Instead of the sweets and smell goods, I received the practical gifts. I would open up can openers, crock pots, and one time I remember a toaster.
Not that I didn’t appreciate these, but wow, they sure weren’t personal, as per say Valentine’s Day goes; but I did have good working appliances. LOL
Now I have no one in my life and I have never been completely satisfied, but am used to it. What a surprise it would be to one day open that front door and see the little guy holding out a bouquet of flowers. Better yet, how about for no reason. Who needs Valentine’s Day to receive goodies????
I see people everywhere I am
Some ignore and some say hi
Others smile as they go by.
I have lived here all my life
Except a few years where I tried to do
Something in my life that was all brand new.
I feel like at my age, I should know
At least a few I pass along my way
But no, I do not see anyone on this day.
Where have all the people gone
Who used to be in my life
Married a husband, or maybe a wife.
Now, as I get older, I search
The obits to look and maybe see
Recognition of a name that used to be.
Where has all the time gone
Am I really as old as they say
In my mind, it says I am getting younger every day.
The responses I received in the past several hours is amazing to me. I have so many wonderful friends on here at bloggingville. I don’t know what I would do without you. I have had a wake-up call. There were some blogs I read that would make my heart have a ping feeling in it, and I finally realized why. I guess it takes me awhile to get it!
I had just read Viveka’s blog and she was making a comment about fixing her supper and that she ironed on her balcony and listened to her music and sang songs. http://mygulitypleasures.wordpress.com
This blog is the finale of when I finally got it. I finally understood that I need the breaks. I thought I needed the breaks so that I would not pull my hair out, or maybe not scream and stomp my feet at Al. LOL. I thought I needed a break so I would not collapse from a stroke or a heart attack, but I have learned I need a break for another reason.
I need a break to get back to me! I didn’t realize this! Even as I look for photos of things I love in life, as I have chosen for with this blog, my insides are stirring, like they have not stirred for years.
Cameras, photos, landscapes, people, meeting new friends, talking to old friends.
Glittery jewelry, gaudy jewelry, goodwill stores, flea markets, yard sales.
Public auctions, garage sales, the smell of wood, old furniture.
I am getting excited. These are who I am, this is what Terry Shepherd represents in life.
I can not add all of the other things up in my life that make me who I am, like my children etc. I am talking about just me. For this blog, I am being selfish and speaking about me. How to bring myself back to life. This does feel very weird to me.
I have been so wrapped up in my brother, not that I don’t want to be, but I have been consumed by his illness, that last night when a blogger friend said for me to do some things that I like, I sat there like a bump on a log. I had no idea who I was anymore, let alone what I liked or enjoyed in life.
It took all evening plus wild crazy dreams. I mean crazy dreams too! I don’t know why or what it represented, but I dreamed about people in my life that I have nothing to do with any longer. My ex-husband, I had sat and talked to him in my dream. We smiled and got along like old friends. My best girlfriend that I used to have. She and I haven’t spoken in fifteen years. In my dream she and I were friends again.
I don’t know what has happened and I surely can not explain it. The most I can say is, I saw little doors being opened for me by someone. I saw a past life, and I saw laughter and joy. I saw doors being opened here for me by friends blogs. I had feelings coming that had been hidden for so long.
If this is God, I give thanks. You have a sneaky way of helping me to see your light. If this is my blogger friends, I say thank-you. You have chosen the exact words to help me through this.
I can not even say that my life will get better taking care of Al. I think it will get worse. I can say though, that these breaks that I didn’t realize I needed until today, I am going to take huge advantage of. I am going to take each minute and fill it up with me, myself, and I. I am going to start to rebuild who I am. I have to, this is the way I will be able to stay healthy and young at heart. This will help me endure the pains my brother goes through. This is who God has made, and I want to shine once again for him.