Jenny


Jenny was 21 years old. She was born in the hills of West Virginia to parents who believed there was only one way of being brought up; their way. She had been taught at home, learning from the books that her mother thought she would benefit from.

Jenny had two older brothers who worked outside the home. She saw them mainly at dinner time or on weekends when they were not out with their friends. Jenny’s parents believed that a good, clean woman was the only way to snag a God-fearing man.

It was on this day that Jenny turned 21. A party consisted of everyone being at the table promptly at 6pm, with dessert consisting of a hand-made birthday cake made of chocolate and a whipped frosting.

There were no candles nor songs to be sung. One by one, each family member presented their gift to Jenny. With no laughter in the air, Jenny would carefully open the gift and say a proper thank-you.

After retiring from dinner, Jenny and her mother would clear the table, scrape the dishes, wash, dry and put away for the next meal. The men of the family went outdoors. It was a good way to escape the twisted thoughts of their mother.

The two sons, Luke and Larry, loved their mother. They felt a sense of pity towards her and tried very hard to bite their tongues with their own thoughts. The story was spoken many years ago when their father had no choice but to sit the young boys down and tell them parts of the truth.

John had met Mary at a local dance one evening. She was so pretty. Her tiny waist and long, slender legs and her hair done up so tidy, every curl in its place. She had no problem filling up her dance card and John wanted to take up one more mark on the list.

One deep dimple on each side of her beautiful smile lured John into believing she was going to be his wife one day. Waiting his turn to stroll her on the dance floor and then watching her walk towards him with her graceful steps, he stood and bowed, took her hand and whisked her to the next sound of music.

The Last Waltz was being played by the group of five men playing their instruments. The lights were turned down low and the sparkle of  her eyes so close to his stood out. He pulled her closer to him, smelling her alluring perfume. A dance  he never wanted to end, finished within a few moments. He thanked her and she smiled into his eyes. He hoped for one more dance with her.

He gave her to the arms of another gentleman and walked over to the refreshment table. Pouring himself a cup of red punch, he sipped it while watching the couple dance with yearning eyes.

The music ended, the band took a break. Mary walked towards the exit doors, needing a breath of fresh air. She wandered out amongst the flowing weeping willow trees. Standing alone looking up at the twinkling stars she made a wish on one of the brightest lights that this night may never end.

She hadn’t noticed the footsteps  nearing her. She didn’t feel the large hand cover her mouth as she was turned towards a tall gentleman she had not been introduced to. He placed one of his arms around her waist and pulled her in the direction he wanted her to go.

Away from the chatter and the glittery lights he forced her to the ground. His hands tore at her buttons while his whiskers left red marks on her neck. With his mouth he forced hers  open and sucked up her innocent juices while his dirty hands found their way up her stockings. His fingers tore at her panties and with a force she had never known before he plucked her innocence.

He stood up not offering to help her and as he zipped his pants he said, ” If you say one word Jenny, I will kill your parents and then kill you.” With the words echoing in her head, he turned abruptly and ran into the darkness.

Mary laid there trying to grasp what had just happened to her. She began to weep as she started  to regain her composure. She shook as she stood up. She pulled at her buttons on her blouse trying to cover up the dirty hands that had been placed there.

She tugged  at her skirt, straightening it up as good as she could. As she started to walk, sharp pains struck her in her most forbidden area. The pain described harshness and force that had been pushed upon her.

She did her best to over look how she felt. She needed to escape. She didn’t want anyone to see her this way. This would be her secret to bare for the rest of her life. She could not say a word for fear of her parents being killed.

willow-tree

Picture It & Write


http://ermiliablog.wordpress.compictureitandwrite2copy-1girl-with-a-back-tattoo

Is this really me I am seeing staring back at me? It can’t be, because this woman I see in my mirror is beautiful, and I am so ugly. I am fat and he has told me so many times over the past years that he felt sorry for me.

He wanted me to know that I wasn’t alone, that he would always be near my side any time. He told me lies. He helped me to believe that no other would ever desire me and because he cared about me he would always try to make me feel beautiful. I have learned that he needed me. But I didn’t realize at that time that I did not  need him. I I was the rabbit and he was the hunter with the gun.

Holding me captured not by his physical power but by his words so full of emotion. Tearing down any self-esteem I may have ever had. Forcing me to believe that I was  a fat worm in a rotten apple.

He never paid any attention to me until I blossomed at 13 years old. I was very shy as a child and when he smiled at me I liked it. He had a way of making me feel so special. I got extra pretty birthday gifts. For Christmas I received expensive gifts. One long box that I opened had my first diamond necklace in it.

He took it out of the box and raised my hair to place it around my neck. I could smell his Old Spice and feel my hairs standing on edge as he breathed so close to my neck. He lured me as a fisherman brings in a beautiful bass.

He took my trust and innocence and broke it into millions of tiny sharp shards  all over the floor. He did this on one night when a knock came to my door and when I learned it was him, I innocently opened it and he stole from me all that I had saved for many years.

Now today years later and an excellent therapist, I look into the mirror and try to do my exercises I was given. I stare at my reflection and I force myself to look close. Is this really me?

This Really Is Not Dirty, But Rather Innocent!


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Miss Beatrice, The church organist, was in her eighties
And had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones,

They began to chat..
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the
better of him and he could no longer resist.

‘Miss Beatrice’, he said,
‘I wonder if you would tell me about this?’
Pointing to the bowl.
‘Oh, yes,’ she replied, ‘Isn’t it wonderful?
I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter.’

 

Thank you Shona!

English: Hammond Organ model L-112

My Spirit Soars


God, the Father watches us all everywhere.

God, the Father watches us all everywhere. (Photo credit: angelofsweetbitter2009)

I want to rid my world of pain

And throw it to the seas

I want to go back to childhood

And be all that was naturally me.

I don’t want to carry any extra loads

It tends to weigh me down

I want to run and skip around

Hearing songs are the only sounds.

We are not promised easy lives

There are challenges every day

We can pile these upon our back

Or choose to follow God’s way.

We can not live each others lives

We can not force our ways

I have to accept that God is in charge

All we be settled on Judgement Day.

I feel that I have always followed God

But have tried to do things my way

Now today I go on bended knee

And renew my faith with thee.

I will look to God for more guidance

I will listen for his voice to speak

I will pray for others that are hurting

I will visit with those who seek.

If I practice all that I have said

And continue to love and care

I will not have the time nor place

To be the target for others to share.