My God, my God
Please help
With all you can
Let me lean on you
As I am so very tired
Please God please
Let someone hear
My call for help
With Al
Last night the
Tremors were awful
We were both up
Until six this morning
And two hours
Later I am feeding him
I can’t do this alone
Already I am
Hearing I can’t eat
This breakfast
I am not hungry
And I turn to look
As his hands are
Beating the table
As the tremors
Move for ever more.
Here I sit at my computer
Tears falling from my eyes
Playing every song
That speaks of God
In hopes he hears
Al’s and my cries
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
Daily Prompt; Never
http://dailypost.wordpress.com,DP, Daily Prompt
Tell us about a thing you’ll never write about.
Pho…
http://dailypost.wordpress.com,DP, Daily Prompt
Tell us about a thing you’ll never write about.
Photographers, artists, poets: show us FORBIDDEN.
The one thing I will never talk about on my post is friends and family’s private issues. To write and tell about sad things or struggles or troubles others have is benefiting no one but Satan.
Satan loves it when we humans mess up. When we hurt others and destroy with our tongue. I am not much of a gossiper either. When I am talking to my best friends about things, there is talk about others in our conversations.
Usually speaking of others is because we want the other to know some of the situation so they will pray for our loved ones.
We all have problems. None of us can live on this planet and not be faced with meteorites at times. If we spent all of our time talking to everyone else about what he know or have heard, how could we do the Lord’s work?
How could we lay down at night and sleep a restful night? I think we all were brought up with manners.
Now manners is something that is becoming void from our lives. Not all but some have tossed this word out the windows as if it was left-over coffee in our cup.
How easy is it in today’s world to do something we were brought up to know was wrong and yet think nothing of it. Look at the divorce rate today. What about the children who are being tossed into the streets. Or what about the school shootings?
People who we were taught to look up to are the ones in the spotlight for living a less than respectable life. It is a sad situation that is happening and the very worst part is we don’t flinch like we used to.
We are actually becoming used to it. We, you and I are the ones who are held accountable for our actions. Not the courts, not our spouses or children nor the neighbors. You, me, we are the ones who open our mouths, make the choices to do as we wish.
I would be taking a great risk of speaking out of line. Butting into others lives, giving words at free will. So when someone tells me something, unless I am given permission, my lips are sealed.
Arise Jesus
The night before you rose
The earth is silent now
Mourning the loss of you
Is only what we can do
You tried your very best
To teach and show us all
What is right and wrong
You didn’t want us to fall
Some of us listened
And others ran as well
Some cursed your name
And left you for an empty shell
But you let these things happen
You trusted your Father you said
You knew that your love for us
Was strong and in Satan‘s way
We get up in the morning
Our hearts still breaking in two
Coming to see you one more time
But you are not here what should we do
We tell all those around us
That the stone has been rolled a way
The glorious Father above us
Has risen you for this day
We fall on bended knee
And cry out to you above
We praise your name oh Father
Now you love us from above
Terry Shepherd
03/30
2013
Jesus H. Christ (Photo credit: angelofsweetbitter2009)
Bullies, people who pick on the weaker of mankind. Receiving a temporary rush of power over the human race. Children crying and hitting over wanting to keep the toy they have. Showing their distaste in someone taking what they believe is theirs.
Married couples getting divorces over hurt feelings. Words thrown at each other as daggers. Aiming at the heart ripping it in half. The first place many go is to the courts to get rid of the pain. Of course there are many valid reasons to divorce. I am speaking mainly of couples who argue and head for the judge’s room.
Mid-life crisis. Relationships can become dull and listless. One or both begin to feel threatened by their age. Looking but not speaking the words that would penetrate to understand the feelings of being lost in the world. Cheating seems to be one way of obtaining the eyes of the mate.
What do we do when we are faced with pain or hurt? Will we fight to the end for what may or not be in our opinion that we are the only one who is right? How far would you go to defend what you know in your heart is right? Would we give up and give in so not to be bullied, be alone, or cheated on?
Do we act like Jesus? Do we go the extra five miles? Will we go to any expense to show others that the way we are living is right and the only way? We will we do the impossible to save a soul from going to heaven?
What if Jesus was mocked and stoned and laid down his staff and turned his back on the people to save his own hurt and pride? When he was made to carry his own cross that he knew would lead to his death did he get so afraid he turned and ran?
Jesus loved us so much. He obeyed his Father’s every command. He knew what was going to happen. He knew the torture he would feel with each word of cruelty being spoken. Every stone thrown, every whip piercing his back. Drawing blood and open sores. Yet he did what he knew was right. He loved us so much he could not turn his back on us.
There is always a prize at the end when we stand up for what is right. When we turn the other cheek. When we take the ridicule of others who don’t care or do not understand. We may not know as Jesus did what reward stands at the end of the path. For us it will show others are strength in our beliefs.
For Jesus his reward was to rise and live forever with his Father. He wanted each of us to have the chance to be saved from Satan. The best is yet to come. We struggle, we fight, we argue. We do what we can to make it to the prize just out of our reach.
My heart is bursting from knowing that some time many years ago a man loved me so much that he died for me. All I had to do is believe. Can you imagine that? Just believe that Jesus and God are real. Believe that God is with us through every second of the day. Watching over us helping us to make it to the end of our journey. Just because we never saw the Crucifixion does not mean it never happened.
We believe in fairy tales and Santa Clause and even the Tooth Fairy. So why not believe in something so much taller and more powerful than any of these? I thank-you God for sending your son Jesus Christ to die on the cross. To be forgiven of my sins is the greatest gift I could ever dream of. Thank-you for loving me for I am such a miserable sinner. But now I am saved and to know that at the end of this journey I will be seeing your face, holding your hand in mine is something I ponder on as I fight the daily battles of living here on earth.
I know you promise all your strength
But tonight I am so tired
I look out my window and see the empty trees
And try to calm my body so wired.
I know that you my Lord have suffered
Ten thousand more times than me
But I feel weak and oh so tired
Can you see me Lord on bended knee?
I really try to do all that I can
To be a rock for him
To show him how much I really care
But to them I am no longer their fan.
They run and hide when I walk in side
I know they fear my face
But who will stand up for my brother
Who in this human race?
I put the world on hold for now
As I target in on your care
I will do what needs to be done for you
I promise you I do swear.
The guidelines do not match your case
You are in a league of your own
Why are my eyes the only to see
I will call in the troops that I now know…….
I promise you, I do swear.
Love you brother.
Terry Shepherd
03/28/2013
I know that it is very important to find the little things in life that are good. I also realize that there are days that I find this difficult to do. I would almost say out loud that I have a mild case of depression.
I hate the taste of those words on my tongue when I say that but I miss my brother and I think I miss the life I once had. Although looking back the things that made me so happy are no longer here. My Dad and Mom and my family.
Sometimes I wonder why I am so different from others. While others are out drinking on Friday and Saturday nights, I am home. While others have so many dates I have none. So I look very hard for those small miracles and gifts from God. When I find them it can actually make an entire difference in my day.
I had one particular gift last week. As you all know my children’s Grandma passed a way. I was very saddened by her loss and so was surprised when I opened the door to let my family in, there was a bouquet of flowers from the funeral for me.
It is so nice to have a piece of the funeral here with me to watch over and water each day. I love them.
Then on last Wednesday I had to have my three-month A-1-C test done for my Diabetes. I will go back this Wednesday for the results. They have never called me in between these two visits, but this time they called Thursday morning.
I was told that I needed to come back in on Friday and have one of the test redone. The doctor was concerned about my Potassium levels. They explained how normal levels were between 3.4 and 4.3. My level was 5.7.
I was instantly scared. I didn’t know much about Potassium except that bananas were full of them. To eat more than one banana a day is not a good thing. I began an internet search trying to discover what I had done to my eating habits that had made this raise so high.
What I learned was little. The search didn’t really say too much on foods. The ones that it did mention the P word I didn’t eat. I was I would say doing what I usually do. Leaning on me for answers instead of God.
Years ago I used to suffer bad Panic Attacks. It was so awful. I think people thought I was a nut case. I think I even believed them too. With the help of a Christian counselor I was able to overcome the worst of it. Now when I am afraid or very tired a Panic Attack can show its ugly teeth.
The nurse who drew my blood on Friday morning sort of laughed at me because when I went in to have the second draw the first words out of my mouth were,” Am I going to die?” She laughed and said no. She told me,” Ever since you have started coming here your P levels have always been on the high side. The doctor believes this may just be a part of your genes. Your levels are always at number 5.”
I got the blood draw but sweated it out all weekend long. You have to understand that the one sentence that stuck in my head during my research was death. The articles I read said that if your P levels go above 6 it can cause your heart to go nuts and cause a heart attack. Understand here that my worst fear is dying before my brother. I don’t know how I could rest peacefully knowing that he needs me and I am not here for him. So all weekend I smiled when I was around others but inside I was a wreck.
Finally last night I turned to God. I was sitting on my bed. It was around midnight. I was going through my Bible and the thought hit me out of nowhere. Pray to me for what you need.
I very seldom pray for myself. I will pray for my blogger friends who are in need. I pray for my brother constantly. I pray for my children and anyone but myself. I turned my TV off and sat in bed silent for a few minutes thinking, should I really pray for me? Isn’t that selfish?
I decided to go forward with it and so in darkness and silence I prayed for God to heal me of this P level. This morning about 9am the phone rang. I saw on the caller ID that it was the doctor’s office. I picked it up and this was the conversation.
Me,”Hello”
Nurse, ” Good morning. Is this Terry?”
Me, “Yes”
Nurse,” I have your lab results. You are fine. I don’t know what happened last week with your test results but this test showed normal levels. They were 4.3. You are going to be fine.”
Me, ” Oh thank-you Jesus. You don’t know how I have worried about this all weekend. I am so relieved. Thank-you so much for calling. Thank-you for the good news.”
Nurse,” You are welcome. See you on Wednesday. Bye.”
I hung up the phone and looked at the skies and said to myself, Thank-you Jesus. You are the one who told me to pray to you. I did as you asked and you answered.
Looking forward seeing
Also the past can bring pain
And sorrow as I stand by
And watch others making
The same mistakes
As I did once.
The mind holds firm
To words once spoken
Yet the heart is waiting
And able to forgive
And now the time has come
For the test of love to show
That family is above all other
Matters of the world
I come to you to say good-bye
As I know I will not have another chance
You meant the world to me
And even after you are gone
My heart shall still sting
As I realize there is no more
Time to say I love you
Time to say I’m sorry
I must let you go now
Into the arms of our Father
You brought joy in to my life
You showed me love and
Filled empty spaces in my heart
I will remember you forever
In my heart no matter where I am
I loved you then and I
Will always love you forever
Smile down upon me
As you sit at the right side
You are a good person
And I will feel the void forever.
Terry Shepherd
03/14/2013
Who I am 