Tag Archives: Life insurance

More Changes

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Golden Girl

I didn’t know whether to go hide in a corner of my room or write to my friends on here. I have tears in my eyes as I have found out the truths that I have been searching for.

I look outside as the snow softly falls and watch it begin to cover the grounds and roads once again. This is what part of me wishes for. Someone cover me with a blanket and bring me comfort.

I would give anything in this world to have my parents back. I would definitely risk the snow storm in order to be in the comfort of their words right now. But alas, I know this will not happen.

I have always believed that God knows all. He works out our problems to our good. I have to cling to this as I have already shredded the ends of the rope hanging right above my reach.

I want to go into the kitchen and find anything and everything to stuff in my mouth; for food blankets me with comfort, but I will not as I realize I will pay the huge price of high sugars later on.

What I learned to be true, and as they say straight from the horse’s mouth is no program is going to allow Al‘s funeral bill to become a legal expense. The wording is wrong on the paper work and there is no way to change it as the originals have already been viewed.

I had already checked into a refund a couple of weeks ago and discovered to my dismay that of all the thousands that have been paid on it will all vanish but one tenth in a refund. This just makes me want to vomit. Not only that and please don’t think of me as hard-shelled but if he passes before me I will then have to pay for another funeral out of my pocket.

This Friday morning I am meeting Al with his driver at our doctor’s office. We will be getting Al an updated physical and also a form which will have all of Al’s diagnosis on it. Then I am to fax this to the correct number.

This in turn will be sent to another department to be approved or denied. What I didn’t know for sure until today is that this is for a waiver that will bring Al back home. He will go to a day program Monday through Friday for eight hours.

The lady working on this case told me that he is eligible and sees no reason why it will not be approved. She says this won’t take long at all. The next step will be Al receiving a case worker and she will then meet with Al and me and they will be checking out our home to see if there are any changes that need to be made for his convenience. I believe these changes are done at their expense.

I won’t mind having Al here because he will be able to go to the day programs. This is something very much he needs. After he comes home then another waiver is introduced and it will be possible that he could move into the group homes if he chooses or if it gets to be too much for me.This waiver is much lengthier and takes quite a bit longer. Either way I know that God is in charge of this whole deal. It will work out. I will have time still for me five days a week and Al will be back here.

What bothers me so bad is that the facility refuses to allow me the funeral home expense. The government sees it as a life insurance policy. I was told I could try to sway the facility to see things from my view to allow the funeral expense each month, but all they could say is we want our money owed to us.

I will never look at nursing homes again with the same eyes. I will never forget them suggesting to me that I sell Al’s personal things out of his room to help pay for his own funeral. First of all he doesn’t have anything of funeral expense value. I will never forget them telling me they don’t have time to chat with him.

I would rather have him  here where I know I love him and he will get better care than he received there. Yes I will be involved again. Yes there is a chance he can go to the group homes eventually, but for now, I refuse to see my brother slip into a deeper depression. For now I am thankful for the waiver to release him from their greedy and non-caring fingers. For the rest of it? the future for Al and me? I have no choice but to place it in God’s hands. He will never do Al or me wrong. I have to believe and trust that God will help me with Al here at home.

I went back and read some of the posts I had written a few months ago, but for some reasons I am not as afraid and worried. Al is weaker. He can no longer come at me. He walks very little and we won’t be together 24/7. He will have a life of his own and he won’t be treated bad nor shunned.

The tears flowing from me now and the urge to vomit come from the heartless people who won’t show any compassion for another human soul. I will not beat myself up for the what I have done’s, but I refuse to keep making the same error over and over.

As Rose would say on the Golden Girls, this facility can all go to He double hockey sticks!!

My one friends uses a common phrase that comes to my mind right now. God is good, God loves me, and life is what it is.

Oh and by the way friends, I prayed so many times for God to save the big snow until after I went to this important meeting for Al. I don’t know if you prayed also but thanks if you did. I know there is a God, I don’t have to see his face, I can see him at work. God held on to those big snow flakes. All there were was snow flakes gently falling. The streets were clear and I was able to go to the meeting and come home. About fifteen minutes after  I returned  home  God let loose of those flakes and now it is snowing like crazy. All the roads are snow-covered and so is my car. Thank-you Jesus for answering my prayer and watching over me and  Al. I praise your name and sing hallelujah!

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Daily Prompt/ Happily Ever After/ The Daily Post

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com

“And they lived happily ever after.” Think about this line for a few minutes. Are you living happily ever after? If not, what will it take for you to get there?

This is so opposite of my feelings today, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I have been in hay stacks. Every once in a while if you look close you can see my head pop up for fresh air.

This prompt today is not going to bring anything but the plain ugly truth about life. I gave up fairy tales and princess and princes years ago as I walked a way from my divorce. Now I choose to cling to God and friendships like there is no tomorrow.

I don’t carry much faith in the human race on the surface. I do trust my friends let me affirm this.

I am not living happily ever after because I don’t think it is a reality part of life. To live this way would entail all humans to think of others before themselves first most. It would require God to be in every heart. We would see the good and understand the bad in each other.

The judging of character would vanish into thin air. Our nation would be considered as one, united together to bring peace among those who walk this earth.

I don’t know what actually goes on inside your home. I only know what I read on here. If I am extremely bored, I will flip on the television and watch the wildly entertaining news. Anchormen who are geared to show us the worst of the world.

On the news channel I watch there is a tiny segment that is saved for one, just one good thing that happened some where in the world. It is so sad that what sells is tragedy, gossip, money, sex, and vulgar language.

In my own home I work very hard with the help of God and all of you to remain as up-beat as possible about life. It doesn’t take much to burst those balloons flying over my head  by callous remarks.

I won’t take you through the back door and let you see the ugly things I am dealing with at this time. But, I can give you one example. Let me reach my hands into the hay stack and pull out the first thing my fingers touch.

Ah yes, here is a good one. Maybe just a perfect way of letting you understand the greed in the world today. You may know immediately how you would react to next paragraphs. Or, you may need to ponder on it for a few minutes. Here is one of my issues.

A couple of years back I wanted to be as prepared for anything that I could as far as my brother is concerned. You know the saying, get er done. I contacted a funeral home and discussed funeral arrangements for Al. Together the owner and I set up a prepaid expense funeral. I knew the dollar amount per month and all of the fine details.

She in turn took the information and sent it to an insurance company and in a couple of weeks I received the policy in the mail. What do you do with these? The same thing I did. File it in the safe, hopefully to not have to look at it for years to come.

Without realizing it at the time it would come up in conversation later on, but not because Al passed away, but because it is technically considered a life insurance policy now. Al is on Medicaid and things have now changed and not for the good.

The policy is as far as I know not going to be considered an allowable expense, since the title says Life Insurance Policy. I won’t go into the details but I know  in my heart that this is for a prepaid funeral.

The kicker of this whole thing is I was told from Al’s facility that I should just sneak into his room and sell his coke items if I wanted his funeral paid, because they were taking even more money now from him since the payments are going to be considered null and void.

How would you react if they were talking about your brother, or mother or father? My heart has been broken so badly I don’t even know if super glue could hold it together. I am on the ruby-throated-hummingbird-m450.jpgphone and in meetings opening every door possible for Al.

I need to do what others are not. I am looking at Al as my brother, a human life, God’s child. He deserves dignity and respect no matter what illness or disability he has. What I am working on now is hopefully the best shot Al will ever have on this earth, but it takes time, as all government issues do.

I am not depressed but I am very sad. I am a fighter and I will give it all I have to give Al the very best of happily ever after there is. I know that we are down to very little choices, but as each door is forced opened, I gain more hope.

This is just a bit of what is going on in my part of the world. I carry faith and hope but I refuse to have my balloon stuck with one more needle. Landing on the cold ground does not feel good. I will continue to live in the reality and dream about the happily ever after.

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