Tuning It Out

Christmas is over. The specials are gone. A sadness is present as we tear down our


English: Madonna barbie, crafted after the bri...

English: Madonna Barbie, crafted after the bridal look of The Virgin Tour and the 1984 MTV Video Music Award performance. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


pretties for the holidays and place a way until another time nears. Now we are bombarded with New Year’s resolutions.


It tends to make me question myself as I hear and see these ads. We are not the weight we should be. We can stand to lose another thirty pounds. We do not look like Jessica Simpson.


We don’t eat healthy. We do not buy our foods and have them delivered to our front door. We don’t stuff enough raw veggies down our guts. We don’t exercise enough. Some of us don’t exercise at all.


It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, the voices speak to our conscience. It is on the news of becoming the new you. Billions of dollars are spent on campaigns. It is almost as bad as the campaigns for President. Companies hoping they can hit you beneath the belt, making you feel bad about yourself. You will end up thinking so little of your looks and bodies, that you will pour out hundreds of dollars to improve the old you.


Are we so miserable in our own skins that we fall prey to these ads? Do we really think we are not good enough or glamorous enough to walk this earth. Do you like being told you need constant improvement?


It is no wonder that I do not get excited over New Year’s Eve. I don’t think I have ever been invited to a party. Don’t feel bad, I can’t miss what I have not experienced. I do tend to realize though that each year as it comes to an end, I tend to get a little tiny down and depressed.


I am not a Barbie doll type. I have a gut, no Botox tucked in hidden areas. I walk with no tattoos. I have not had surgery to make me instantly small. I hardly wear make-up. I don’t wear false eye lashes.


I don’t always buy healthy. It isn’t that I would not love to, but, when veggies are out of season, it does get a little pricey. I tend to buy more foods that are on the sale list. I want to eat for the next seven days. I choose not to starve for two of the days because I felt ashamed that I was not keeping up with the health trends.


I wear comfy clothes. I don’t have to have brand name labels. After all, how many people in the mall are going to come up to you and ask to see your label? As I get older, I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I don’t have to impress people here on earth.


Anyways, ads play on our guilt. When we fall for it, the companies gain billions of dollars from us. I will be so glad when New Year’s Day is here and gone. Television ads will back off a little bit more. After a six or seven week span has gone by and many of us have failed our resolutions, the companies seep into the woodwork.


It makes me so tired when I think about all the things that are wrong with me. Talk shows and doctor shows constantly trying to convince me of this way or that way will help me live longer. Get a test done now to see what you may die of later. No thanks, I pass.


God made me who I am. If he wanted me to look like a Barbie doll, he would have done that in planting me. If he wanted me to have a different shape, he would have made sure I had it.


I am getting old and I can tell. The things that used to be so important to me just don’t matter anymore. Now I tend to think about where I am going once I leave this world. Hopefully I have several years before I leave, but I want to make darn sure that now I am headed on the right track.


These are just my thoughts and not all of you are going to agree with me. But for me, I am going to shut out the ads that bring me down and make me feel guilt. I am going to work harder on listening to uplifting music and writing more blogs.


Happy New Year’s to all of you. May you stay safe, sober and still smiling on New Year’s Day.



Just For Today

Deutsch: Rodolphe ist in Eile, denn es weihnac...

Deutsch: Rodolphe ist in Eile, denn es weihnachtet sehr. 😉 English: Rodolphe has to hurry up, Christmas is coming soon. 😉 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I think there is a shorted wire in my brain somewhere, that prevents me from what I see most of you doing in your lives. Wow! This is really hard to type the word onto this page, but is it that I am really just plain too lazy? Oh my gosh, that one hurt. I don’t like that word. It puts a knot in my gut. It brings guilt to me and I suck it right in, like there is no tomorrow. I make promises to myself. You would laugh at me if you knew how many arguments I have with myself on a nightly basis. I win each night, and I lose each morning. The best part of my day is not Folgers in my cup, it is the peace. Peace of a new day. Joy of watching the sun rise. The silence of the traffic. The quietness coming from my brother’s room. Yes, the aroma coming through my nostrils of my coffee being made. To look outside my windows and see the calmness in the trees. The cat walking down the road without fear of being hit by a speeding car. Birds at my bird feeder. These non important, tiny little, routine things I do each morning are the basis of who I am. Then the television is turned on as my brother comes out for his breakfast. Instantly my world changes. It is like night and day. Are you an allergy sufferer? Do you have trouble keeping an erection? Do you feel bloated? Does your lipstick wear off before its time? Are you depressed? Have you started your new exercise program so you can be in your bikini by summer? Do you have thinning hair? Do you have enough life insurance, or are you going to be a burden for you family? Do you need to dial lonely chat phone line, because you have no love life? Have you been injured by someone and need to sue? The list goes on and on. With being a caregiver, I am more at home then out of the home. FAMILIAR words that I hear, come from the television. Doubts start entering my once peaceful, accepting world. I look at my face in the mirror, and see the signs of aging staring back at me. I look at myself fully in mirror, and see  more than a pinch in too many places. I look through my kitchen cupboards, and see all too familiar foods, waiting for me to open. I look at my coffee cup, now  filled with disgusting caffeine. My cigarettes are sitting beside my cup, waiting to be inhaled, filling me with black tar. I should change everything in my life. The television has told me so. I am not who I am supposed to be. I have not become a person of a health conscience world. I have not went and thrown everything out of my cupboards and replaced them with complete, healthy foods. I don’t call a plastic surgeon and schedule my Botox appointment. I didn’t call the most popular diet program. I didn’t give up my cigarettes  for today. Instead, I have chosen to do what? Be myself? Be lazy? Worry about someone else besides me? Decide to accept me for who I am? Maybe I am just plain lazy. Maybe I have just made the determination that this is who I am. This is who God hath made. For today, I will be a caregiver. Today, I will try my best to do what is the right thing for me. There is room for improvement, but for today I will accept that I will fail at something. Today, I will try to give comfort and love to another human being. Today, I will try to be proud of the fact, that where I started is not the same as today. Just for today, I will be satisfied with who I am.