A Long Chapter in Al’s Life


A Long Chapter in Al’s Life

Please forgive me for repeating the topic of moaning, but it doesn’t stop. I heard Al in the wee hours of the morning and gave him some more medications. I am getting to the point that I don’t see any improvement at all with the medications, except to keep the two-week ongoing temperature down.

At the time allowed I medicated Al once again. The caregiver had been using Google to search for…

View On WordPress

A Long Chapter in Al’s Life


Please forgive me for repeating the topic of moaning, but it doesn’t stop. I heard Al in the wee hours of the morning and gave him some more medications. I am getting to the point that I don’t see any improvement at all with the medications, except to keep the two-week ongoing temperature down.

At the time allowed I medicated Al once again. The caregiver had been using Google to search for something more specific for Al’s chronic moans. She did locate one that could possibly work but Hospice said they had never heard of it.

Actually it is a very old medicine but isn’t used much anymore with the newer medicines popping up all over. I was reading about it this morning and it should only be used for a very short time, so maybe it isn’t meant to be.

The caregiver and I do spend time trying to help find a medicine that could benefit Al, but maybe there isn’t anything out there on the market. Is it possible that he will continue this moaning and mumbling until the good Lord takes him home? I don’t know.

He is as of last evening choking and struggling to get his mouth open to take any medicine. I am not sure at times if he is even hearing me and maybe this is why his mouth doesn’t open properly.

The choking on the smallest amount of water bothers me. What happens when I give him the medicines and he can’t take the water? I can see this issue becoming a reality very soon. It breaks my heart that as I write this post, he is in his bed coughing from having his meds. Is he talking to God again? Is he in pain? I don’t know anymore. All I know, is he needs relief and I am not the one who seems to be able to give it to him. Please Lord, please help Al in any way you can.

http://www.aahpm.org/pdf/dying.pdf

 

vague-impressionnante

A Pimple Ready to Pop


A Pimple Ready to Pop

Saturday Al went into a new chapter I had never been through. With all the years of experience, not once have I heard this. The sad thing is it is driving me absolutely crazy.

Let’s call it the hum. The moan or groan. He sometimes can be understood, but only sometimes. I asked him last night who he was talking to and he said God, so I said this is wonderful.

He has continued throughout these days…

View On WordPress

A Pimple Ready to Pop


Saturday Al went into a new chapter I had never been through. With all the years of experience, not once have I heard this. The sad thing is it is driving me absolutely crazy.

Let’s call it the hum. The moan or groan. He sometimes can be understood, but only sometimes. I asked him last night who he was talking to and he said God, so I said this is wonderful.

He has continued throughout these days with the same thing. I feel like I have nowhere to turn anymore. Hospice can’t seem to help. The Hospice minister said he had not heard this done before.

It is still happening today. Al woke up at seven and he started it immediately. He did tell the bath girl that she needed to check his mail box. He told me once that he was going to spill  his eggs from the basket if I didn’t take them from him.

He told the bath girl to put the Playboy channel on TV. I know we have it because I have seen it surfing through the movie guide; but we have no subscription to it.cavereteggsmailbox

I just don’t know how to cope with it now. It is from morning to night. He did eat a few bites of sherbet last night and this morning he asked for more. He ate a small bowl.

Is this the way it is going to be? No sleep, no rest? Me having to go hide in my room to escape the constant noise? Am I being a mean sister by not being more tolerable?

Next week Al and I won’t have a caregiver all week. I know in my heart that I can’t take care of him alone. There is supposed to be a respite week now for him and me. He will be going to a local nursing home from Monday-Friday. He will come home  sometime on that Friday and then I will be taking care of him alone until Monday morning arrives.

A big part of me is very nervous about letting him go. He is so fragile. No one will know him. Maybe his moans will cause them to take less care of him. It is a constant struggle for me.

I curse myself because I have Diabetic Neuropathy in my hands. This is the biggest reason I can not care for him alone that many days. The other part of me tries very hard to realize that Angels and God will watch over him. I have to trust the heavens more than anything now.  I realize and I will go see him more often than not.angels1trust4

I have been praying like crazy that God will take Al home before next Monday gets here. I guess I just don’t want the added worry on top of everything else we go through.

crossed fingersLife is good right? God is real, right? I have a chance to have Monday afternoon, all day Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and part of Friday to rest up, laugh again, relax, and recompose myself. So what is the problem? Why is everything getting to me now? Is the moaning  the icing on the cake?

Is Al Talking to Me or Someone I Can’t See


Is Al Talking to Me or Someone I Can’t See

Well my girlfriend is gone. We ran to Wal-Mart to try to find a stethoscope because I thought mine was broken. They didn’t have one and when we returned home my friend had a call waiting that told her that her granddaughter was getting ready to have her baby, so she headed home so she could be a part of this magnificent miracle.

The Hospice nurse came and she discovered there was an issue with my…

View On WordPress

Is Al Talking to Me or Someone I Can’t See


Well my girlfriend is gone. We ran to Wal-Mart to try to find a stethoscope because I thought mine was broken. They didn’t have one and when we returned home my friend had a call waiting that told her that her granddaughter was getting ready to have her baby, so she headed home so she could be a part of this magnificent miracle.

The Hospice nurse came and she discovered there was an issue with my stethoscope and she fixed it. I was relieved. Al is still moaning and groaning. He sometimes doesn’t act like  he is aware that we are there.

He has asked me to take him to get tires for his car. He has pleaded to just get out of his bed and go somewhere. He has slept about 10% the entire weekend. Today after the lunch hour he has been asleep for 15 minutes.

It sounds like his is chanting. I am not sure whether he is talking to me or maybe someone he sees that we don’t. The nurse said with his not eating and drinking he will not be here too much longer.

I wish I could calm his moans. I can’t help it friends. It does tend to get to you after a while of hearing it. He did ask for ice-cream this morning but ate three bites and that was it. His urine has turned from an amber color to some sort of weird yellow I had never seen.

I would give my right arm to take a way all he is going through, but I can’t. I am going to go lay down since I have a caregiver until four today. I just wanted to touch base. I will try to write again later today.indiana saying