To Move Forward


Sunrise. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have set myself up for a new challenge. Do you ever talk about something and then it happens? Example, the car has been a good car, and then the next day, you see oil on the floor? I have never been in a car wreck, and later in the week, you total the car? This week I have been talking about change. I have admitted I do not do well with change. If you are going to change my life, you have to feed me bits and pieces at a time, so I can get used to the idea. Slowly it sinks in and then I am alright again. If you spring it on me, I get pretty depressed, a short depression, my stomach hurts and gurgles, I just want to lie down and sleep. I have talked about it so much, I have been given two changes today. I should have kept quiet! We have a wonderful caregiver, who has been giving Al his showers since early fall last year. She also took him on social outings, usually twice a week. She took him out to eat, and to the movies. They went to church concerts. She also took him to his favorite places which were the antique malls, so he could find coca cola items. The social outings had changed in April. It was just getting too difficult to care for him with his weakness in walking, feeling it was too unsafe with just one person with him. I had to admit it, she was right. She and I decided it was time to give them up unless it was something special. The hardest part of that whole scene was breaking the news to Al. I could immediately see the sadness come over his face. He has always been very social. He loves being around others, speaking to all, cutting up and laughing. It was good for him to get a break from me and be with people more like himself. Everyone needs friends, no matter what state of mind we are in. Meanwhile, here at WordPress, I have made many friends. Good people, god fearing people, and sincere people. I have enjoyed my writings, and reading the comments and vice versa. People have helped me without realizing it to draw even closer to God, allowing me to depend more on  him instead of my own. Trusting that God knows the right thing for me, and teaching me that I can not do anything without him by my side. Today, I had two challenges given to me. The caregiver that we both loved dearly, found a full-time job. I do not blame her. She has her own life to take care of, and knows what she needs financially. I knew that I could not afford to give her that kind of security, but I would have loved to. She starts next week, so her time with us is over. Usually, I would go into my short depression, and my stomach would knot up, and I would want to nap. Instead, I found myself asking what does God have in store for me now. What new doors was he about to open for me. Although, my heart bleeds for the loss of a good worker and a close friend, I have to say good-bye. The second challenge was Al. He does much worse with challenges than I do. He was napping when I received the news, so I had to wait to tell him. I did worry, I won’t lie. We have had such a calm day, I didn’t want it ruined. When he awoke and came out here, I prayed quickly for God to speak the right words through me so that Al could understand. I explained all, and told him that we had another caregiver that would continue to give him his showers, but the new caregiver would do them right before supper instead of in the mornings. Wow, a double whammy for him. Changed caregiver, and changed times. He looked at me and said nothing for about two or three minutes. I sat here praying, please God let him understand. Don’t let the tears start. Finally, he spoke. He said, she will probably work 7am-3:30. I said what? He said this is probably the hours she will work. She needs more money. I looked at him dumbfounded. He got it! He understood! Thank you God! That was it! It was said and over. He knew that the new caregiver would be here tomorrow evening instead of tomorrow morning, and the conversation was dropped. The next thing out of his mouth was, what is for supper? I smiled a huge smile at Al, and told him we both were going to miss the old caregiver, and it made us sad, but maybe we would be able to see her at times. I went to the kitchen to prepare supper. People cross our paths in life for various reasons. Some stay, some fade quickly. God places them here for reasons of his own, teaching us something through each person. I was taught by you to lean on God through this new change. I was taught by my closer walk with God to pray before I speak. Life is good, and it just keeps getting better. We have our rough days, but with God walking beside us, we are able to continue to move forward. Thank you God and bloggers for helping me to know who to lean on when there is a change.