Words From Indiana


Look at this weather here in Indiana! Cold or chilly, use your own wording. Here in Warsaw, it is below our average May temperatures, but on the other hand, it’s really going to make us northerners appreciate our summer.

It sure seems that the Corona Virus has played havoc on 2020. We here in Indiana, have began to reopen our state. I am not eager to venture out. The numbers are still rising on the sick ones, although there has only been one extra death. How is it in your state? Are you reopening? If so, what businesses are open? I saw that one of my favorite places to eat is now accepting dine-in customers with many restrictions. It’s called Culvers. It’s an ice-cream shop with the best service and the best food.I absolutely love their fish sandwiches. I have never been disappointed. Culvers .hires mildly challenged people and I am all for that. I always have appreciated employers giving the challenged an opportunity to work and feel good about themselves. I know how my brother felt about working and receiving a pay check.

My brother was mildly, mentally challenged He had the lowest, paying job for the nine years he worked there but he never minded. He never missed a day and was a dependable employee. He was so sad to lose his job after suffering his heart attack. He cried. He just didn’t understand why he couldn’t go back. My brother was a very routine kind of guy, so this really messed him up. Unfortunately I lost him to the terrible disease called Multiple System Atrophy. He passed away in 2014.

What are you doing with your time? Have you been able to work from home? How has your home life changed? I have had many more aches and pains from doing much of nothing. I tinker around the home but I need to be doing more. If we can get warmer weather daily, I want to walk as far as I can with my walker. Although, I know my blood pressure bottoms out when standing, I keep telling myself, with more exercise, hopefully I can fix this. It isn’t true but I continue to allow myself to think about it.

Well, I’ll end this with wishing each of you mothers with a gift from me to you through cyber space. I hope you all find something good about tomorrow!!

I Was a Lucky Mom


I Was a Lucky Mom

Today is still Mother’s Day. I woke up to my son wishing me a good day over Facebook and then by phone. A few hours later my daughter called from out of state. My last son and his family came down. He smoked pulled pork and it was the best stuff ever. Along with it there was macaroni salad, potato salad, cole slaw, pumpkin bars, and white cake with nice, gooey icing.

After that delicious meal was…

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I Was a Lucky Mom


Today is still Mother’s Day. I woke up to my son wishing me a good day over Facebook and then by phone. A few hours later my daughter called from out of state. My last son and his family came down. He smoked pulled pork and it was the best stuff ever. Along with it there was macaroni salad, potato salad, cole slaw, pumpkin bars, and white cake with nice, gooey icing.

After that delicious meal was over my other daughter in law came over with her daughter. They fixed plates and we enjoyed their company.  I have  had a rough couple of days and today it was made sunny by my family.

My family doesn’t realize that a phone call or a visit can turn my entire day completely around. I was always the mom who wanted the Leave it to beaver family. Kids grown bringing their kids over anytime. No invite needed. Today was the closest thing ever. The only thing that would have made it better was if my daughter had been here in person, but I am thankful for the phone call.

My grandson, Easton is very close to eight weeks old. My other daughter in law will present Chloe in less than four weeks, but we all think it will be sooner. One of my kids reads my blogs, the other two do not. Either way, thanks kids for making my Mother’s Day perfect. Don’t worry brother, I thought of you often.

By the way, speaking of Al, I was rummaging through the shed yesterday and today and I found a box of Al’s. With Al’s mentality he never opened boxes. He didn’t enjoy many of the items he had. He looked at them in their boxes, but today, my brother was here with me through music. I found a Coca Cola radio. It had never been opened nor used. It comes with a phonograph, CD player, clock and AM/FM radio. It is all in a nice wooden, grained box. I played this all day long, and thought about dear Al every time I heard it’s beautiful musichanna birthdayEaston.Kristinrecord player

Thoughts Reining Over Me


jesus_in_heaven.jpg

I was reading a blog of a friend of mine here at WP today and it stirred up something in me.

Here is the link of what I was reading;

http://iprodigaldaughter.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/the-big-i/comment-page-1/#comment-512

I get many comments on WP. Most of them are wonderful and heart-felt. I sometimes blush and can even get embarrassed although there is no one here beside me reading or watching me.

I was brought up to believe I am just a person.  I was to be a good girl, grow up, get married and have a nice life of my own. It was instilled in me as a child that I was to be seen and not heard.

My father left me in the cold car while he went in and saw my new step-mom. I couldn’t have been that good of girl, could I?

As long as I kept my nose clean I didn’t hear my name called too often at home while growing up. I do remember trying my hardest through my teen years to cook the best tasting supper, or iron for my mom with no wrinkles, or clean the house until it sparkled. I would do anything, just about, to get noticed.

I can’t remember ever getting a thanks, but I may have. I remember sort of staying to myself as a teen, but don’t most teenagers? I had a nice home, nice clothes. I was never kicked out of the house. My parents didn’t cuss or drink. No drugs could be found.

So what was wrong with me and my thinking? Why did I want more? Was I never satisfied with what I had?

Then I started writing for WordPress. I have now been writing here for a year and three months. Comments started coming in and they were good comments. People who didn’t know me were saying I was a nice person. I was a caring sister. I heard that I had a good outlook on life. Some even wished they lived closer to me so we could be friends in real life.

This isn’t what I was used to. I was never beat at home. I do know that I was violated at the age of two or three, but how could that affect my entire life?

Then I became closer and closer to God. I learned that God made me perfect in his eyes. I was taught that he loved me even though I made mistakes. He would never leave me, I didn’t have to be afraid.

This is nice to know but there are times that things happen in my life that I freak out. I don’t feel smart enough to be able to handle some situations. I then go to God and speak to him about what is eating at me.

Have you ever had a person make you feel like you have been convicted as a guilty person, when you knew inside that you were innocent? That if you made any mistakes it was not done intentionally? I have one of those instances facing me today.

It has ruined my day. I slept it a way for the biggest part. My stomach has churned and I felt sick all day. I was to receive a phone call but was told if it didn’t come through it would first thing in the morning.

All the things I was taught growing up have come and tackled me. It is like watching a big football game. The guy is on the bottom of the huge pile with the ball. No one wants him to gain any more distance.

I have prayed off and on all day to have God’s help to calm me down. But I have so little belief in myself today, that the prayers are not working. Now I am sweating it waiting for the call tomorrow morning.

I am ashamed of how I am reacting. Why can’t the wonderful comments that I am given today stick with me? Why must I remain hiding under the bed, believing what was ground into my head?

Maybe this is why I fight so hard for Al. I know I can do it. I know I can protect him and make him as comfortable as possible. But I look at myself as a nurse for others but a failure unto myself.

It is so stupid. So when I was reading this post of my friend, I realized that God loves me. I need to repeat that over and over. It is true. I am not a bad person. Now I need to not only believe it, I need to live like I am God’s child. He made me perfect in his eyes, not perfect in society’s eyes.

Daily Prompt; Hi Mom


http://dailypost.wordpress.com, Daily Post, DP

http://dailypost.wordpress.com

Today is Mother’s Day in the United States. Wherever in the world you are, write your mother a letter.

Photographers, share a photo that says mothering. mother and child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mom,

I have seen many posts on Facebook of children wishing their Mom’s a great Mother’s Day. I have read several posts here at WordPress of professing love for our mothers. I am even guilty of writing about you too a little early.

Mom, growing up isn’t easy. Us kids are self-centered by nature. We see ourselves as the center of attention. We are demanding as little ones. When we want food or drink or we have a boo-boo, we let you know that we want and need your attention immediately.

We played in the mud making our clothes dirty. We tracked mud across your freshly mopped floors. We even picked you the yellow dandelions out of the yard, and everything we did wrong was erased and placed with smiles as you picked us up and hugged us thanking us for your beautiful yellow-staining flower.

You were the one who came running when you heard that high-pitched scream. You swooped us up in your arms and rushed us inside to clean our knees when we scraped them riding our bikes.

You were the only Mom who had to go to parent teacher conference and discover that your daughter had left her under slip hanging in the coat closet the entire grading period. Knowing how easily you are embarrassed, I can only imagine how you felt at that moment.

Mom, I want to thank-you for standing up for me when Dad accused or yelled at me. I didn’t realize that by doing this you took the risk of having a new argument later behind closed bedroom doors.

You worked very hard through the years you were raising me. I want to ask for your forgiveness for all the times that you tried over and over to call me at home. Only to find the phone was ringing that familiar busy signal. You were so upset with me when you arrived home, and the one thing I did was lie to you. Stating something must be wrong with that darn phone. But you and me, we both knew inside our hearts that I was fibbing, but you didn’t say it out loud.

I want to thank-you for taking your valuable time to pick me up from the library after you had worked a long day. Or taking me into meet my friends at the movies when I now realize you would rather have stayed home and relaxed on a Friday night.

I want to thank-you Mom for understanding that I needed to make my own mistakes in my teen years. I did do some biggies and you never said I told you so. I want to ask again for forgiveness for the many tears I brought to your eyes. I knew it Mom, when you came out from your bedroom with your Bible in your hands, I had disappointed you again and you were praying for me to see the light.

I want to thank-you Mom for shedding the tears for me. I was the only one who saw them but I knew they were tears of worry and hope that my life would be alright when you and I discovered at the doctor’s office that I was pregnant.

I want to thank-you for taking care of my first-born the year I was so ill. I know that this was a huge burden for you with all of your other responsibilities. You did it all and never complained or made me feel bad.

I want to apologize to you Mom for all the ways I went about letting you know that you were not my real mother while I was growing up. You didn’t have to do it. I was not your own and yet you remained steady and loving until the day you died.

One last thing Mom, I want to thank-you for letting me speak to you while you lay on your death-bed. I know in my heart that even though you were unconscience you heard every word I spoke.

I always loved you Mom, and you gave me the chance to wipe the slate clean and let me tell you how much I admired you as a Mother, and how much I always loved you. It was as if you were waiting for those words you so desperately needed to hear all those long years. Because as soon as I said them, I took a hold of your pale, lifeless hand, and you then let Jesus lift you into his arms.

I love you Mom. You may not have been my blood Mother, but I know you were the best in the world.

With tears in my eyes,

Your loving daughter,

Terry

I Can’t Even Think of a Title For This


I have been stressed out today. I know, I shouldn’t be this way, but it was just one of those nasty days from outer space. The bad thing is nothing is so major that I am going to have death knocking at my door.

It is all the little pieces of strings that…

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