Tag Archives: Mothers

#FWF Free Write Friday; Image Prompt

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walmart-manHe was tired.  Poor John had been planning, saving and working so hard at his job. He was a third shift stock man at the local Wal-Mart store.

He didn’t make much but it paid the bills and put a little extra jingle in his pockets.

He had two children who were grown. One off to college and the other working in a local auto shop. His daughter Katie had been smitten with a boy in their neighborhood. Ben had grown up down the street a ways on the side of the street where all the nicer houses set side by side like dominoes.

Kate had grown up in a nice enough home too, but there was no keeping up with the Jones’s homes on this side of the street. Putting food on the table and shoes on feet were the priorities on this side.

Katie and Ben went to the same schools, same colleges. John guessed it would happen sooner than later. He always hoped for later. Katie was the apple of his eye. Bouncing curls growing up. A mouth full of questions. John could always count on his sidekick being with him when ever he puttered in the garage.

Ever since Katie had come to him and announced she was getting married John made it his number one goal to give her the best darn wedding he could afford. Ben’s parents offered many times to take some of the pressure off of John’s shoulders but he always insisted with a NO, and it isn’t a pressure, it is a pleasure.

Katie’s Mom had died a few years back from cancer. Although Katie was practically all grown up John feared she would always need a Mom in her life. He did his best to fill in on both ends.

Katie would have him go along with her to try wedding dresses on. Although John could be working on mower engines he never said no and stood against the racks of dresses with a smile on every time she came out of her dressing room asking, “what do you think Daddy?”

“You look beautiful darling, just like your Mom always did.” Kate would smile and go back in and the question would be repeated dress after dress. Instead of hiring a professional photographer, John had a good friend that had an eye for the camera. His friend didn’t charge the couple. He let this be his gift to them.

Flowers were cut from the back yard. John loved all shades of pink flowers. It didn’t matter what kind they were as long as they were pink, his wife’s favorite colors. John picked up extra shifts and made sure that the food and drinks were going to be the best ever.

He hired a small company to do all the cooking. Nothing special, just a rib filling kind of food. Sliced ham, new potatoes fresh from the garden, a nice bowl of fresh salads, the complete meal. The wedding cake was simple but he thought it was beautiful. Two tiers, pink flowers all around the edges on each layer. He splurged and had a tiny working fountain placed between the two tiers. This was his gift to his baby girl, the food and the cake.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Ben’s parents gave the two a nice fat check and this went towards a honeymoon to Niagara Falls. The wedding was paid for. His baby girl looked beautiful and the two were married. Now they were having fun on their honeymoon just like he and his wife did when they were young.

Everything  put a way, John sat on the curb of Wal-Mart on his break remembering back to what once was and thinking about the new grandbabies he would hold some day, just like he and his wife used to do when their own kids came along.

He smiled to himself. Life is good. He was blessed, He worked hard and it paid off. He had raised a nice family. He got up from his sitting position. Break time was over. Time to start saving for those toys the new babies would need someday.

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If I Didn’t Care

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I was writing on my quotes WP page and also put some new music on my music page here on WP. I decided to spend some free time going through the U-tube videos. I came across a group that my Mom loved. They were called the Ink Spots. Some of you older ones…

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If I Didn’t Care

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I was writing on my quotes WP page and also put some new music on my music page here on WP. I decided to spend some free time going through the U-tube videos. I came across a group that my Mom loved. They were called the Ink Spots. Some of you older ones may remember this group.

I can remember cleaning the house before my parents got home from work. I would go to that long box on feet and turn the record player on. I would pull out Mom’s 331/3 album and place it gently on the turn table. Placing the needle gently down on the record so as not to scratch it, I would turn it up to the point of almost blowing the speakers.

I would grab the sweeper hose and stand in the middle of the living room on top of the footstool and pretend I was singing into a microphone to the words of this song.

When I looked at this song I got the biggest stab in the heart I have had in some time. It is different from the ones I feel with Al. This stab was a memory stab. Going back in time when life was free and spinning in circles going  nowhere, but yet giggling like there is no worries in this world.

Oh Mom and Dad, how I miss you. It doesn’t matter Mom if you have been gone almost 13 years or Dad if you have been gone for almost six, I feel you  today deep in my gut. The love I carry will never vanish.

I replayed this song twice and then it cut me deep. Our entire family was based on who cares about who and why don’t I feel it.

The words say If I didn’t care.

Was Mom trying to tell me something and I never got it until all these years later? Or was this a song meant for her and my Dad? I know they had a rough start in their marriage. Who wouldn’t when all of a sudden two youngsters were dropped in your lap.

 

MOM

Mom  I will never forget

What you tried to do

Doing the best you could

Coming into this new.

I didn’t give much of a chance

I could have  behaved better

But I am so glad today

That I sat and wrote you that letter.

I am not sure;  but am hoping so

That although you are not here

That you know my heart was true

More than life’s deepest fear.

I hope when my time comes

And I am standing next to you

That you will wrap your arms around me

I will say I care and I love you through and through.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

07/27/2013

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Do You Believe Or Think it is Silly

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A couple of months a go I went to sleep empty-handed. In the middle of the night I suddenly woke up and found a gold cross in my hand. It was lying straight, untangled and ready to wear.

I had worn this necklace the year that my Father was so ill. He died from Leukemia. I wore it for a while longer and then eventually tucked it safely in my jewelry box and have never had it on since.gold necklace

Putting it on even at that time of night, I didn’t think anything about wearing it again. It seemed as if I was supposed to do this.

I did question how it got out of my jewelry box and into my hand after a few years of not wearing it.

Several of you had opinions which I found very interesting. Personally, I felt it was placed there for a specific reason, and God had played a big part in this.

A few weeks a go, I got Al up and off to Day Program. When I came over to sit down at my computer, there on the desk sat a wad of string. Instantly it reminded me of Mom. Mom sewed a lot and it wasn’t uncommon to find wads of thread  lying around.

By now, I suspected Mom had been here. Al has been speaking to Mom so much and I just wondered if she was here with him. Once again, several of you had opinions on this and I appreciated each one. I started to understand that maybe Mom was here for me also, since the thread was left at my desk. string

A couple of days ago I took the necklace off and returned it to its proper place. With the heat and high humidity it was just bothering me. Last night I was placing Al in bed. I got him all tucked in and felt like he was as comfortable as possible.

I turned around to make sure the drapes were pulled tight for him and right in the middle of the drape, at my eye level was another piece of thread.

I was not afraid. I smiled to myself and silently said, “thanks Mom for being here today for Al and me. It has been a real bad day and knowing you are here brings comfort to me.”

I picked it off the drape and brought it out to the same place I had placed the other wad of string.

Mom, we had our issues, but what daughters and mothers don’t. You always gave the best you had in everything you did. Here once again, you knew that I needed  comfort, and you let me know I am not alone.

thread

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Daily Prompt; Green-Eyed Monster

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt

Tell us about the last time you were really, truly jealous of someone. Did you act on it? Did it hurt your relationship? 

Photographers, show us something GREEN.green-emerald-gemstone-thumb14543806

The only person I can think of that I was truly jealous of was my half-sister.

From the day she was born, she took all of Mom’s time;so it seemed.

She controlled my childhood from my age of 10 clear up until the present.

Mom got her more than Al and me. She had name brand clothing from expensive stores. Mom told me she loved her more than me. That killed me internally for years.

She had more friends than me, I thought. When we were both grown up she had Mom and Dad‘s help financially, while my husband and I struggled.

When Christmas time came, she helped her purchase gifts for her kids. I did not get that help. Halloween, another time store-bought costumes were had, while I made my kids outfits.

When she needed babysitters, Mom was right there. I hardly had babysitters. We took our kids everywhere.

It ruined part of me for many years, but then I saw something different between her and me when I got much older. It took years to see with my eyes blue instead of green. While she got everything and I worked for what my family have, it made me a better person.

While she is still living a different life, I have more stability. She is someone I love deep inside but would not let Al nor myself be in her home under no conditions. Her friends and mine are different.

Her outlook on life and mine differ. She is wild and I am calmer. She will try anything for attention and I stick more to myself and my kids.

I have wonderful friends from all around the world, and she has her own.

Mom and Dad did me the biggest favor without them realizing it. Well maybe, Dad did know what was coming.

I turned out alright. I had a rough start in life, but with having to shovel a little deeper and harder, I am proud of whom I have become today. I can walk the streets and never feel ashamed.

A little hard work doesn’t hurt us. Spoiling a child teaches nothing. Responsibilities are thrown out the window, while I cling to mine. If it weren’t for Mom and Dad’s treatment of me, I would not be able to care for Al as well as I do today.

Always remember you reap what you sow. When I take my last breath, I will do it and look back at life and say, You made it Terry, you really made it.

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Daily Prompt; Perspective/ The Daily Post

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Do You Really Want to Hurt Me

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Write about the last disagreement you had with a friend or family member — from their perspective.

I don’t know about you but the only people I disagree with and try so very hard not to get into arguments are with my children. Isn’t is a sad thing? I hear that families disagree more than any other unit out there.

My kids they really love me and they are not afraid to voice their thoughts when they see me heading towards murky waters. I realize that they know me pretty darn well. I understand that they want the best for me. I have even heard them tell me they want me to be happy.

It is actually the best thing about having children in my eyes. They may not come visit near enough in my book of rules. But they are the cat’s meow in my life. Showing me unconditional love.

I absolutely hate it when we tar and feather each other. Like chickens we peck at each other trying to sway us that they are right and I am wrong. Our beaks hurt each other and leave small scars beneath the surface.

I get both sides. They are the children wanting the best and I am the mom. I have made it all through my life with the only boss that really made me listen were my parents. I have gone through marriages and divorces and am still standing.

I have dealt with so much crap with my brother that I should only be found by using a fork lift and sifting through the manure. So it only makes sense that my children realize my  pain and  grief. They want to take care of me from a distance so to say.

They don’t live with me. They do not see what my eyes do. Nor do they hear what I hear. None the less it is awesome to know that they love me enough to throw their two cents in. If they ever quit doing this I will be worried for sure. Silence can mean lack of caring.

I just wish the poisoned darts were not tossed at each other. We are all sharp shooters never missing the target. We each know exactly where to throw those darts that will cause the biggest pain. They aren’t really trying to hurt me. They are trying to do what they can to wake me up to what they are trying to express.

Being a mother is not just giving birth. It is to include changing dirty diapers, pacing the nights trying to calm a crying baby. Feeding and doctor’s appointments. Educating and nurturing. You have a big party when you watch them walk to receive their diplomas.

In a way that is only the first couple of stages of having a child. When they are grown and move out of the nest they still need you. It is just in different ways. They need and have the right to know that parents still love them. Realizing that we would lay our lives down for them in order not to have them hurt as we were.

But in the end after all the love is shown and tears are shed together, the ultimate hurt is the disagreements. But we have to go through these moments in order to keep growing in our love for each other. I love ya kids!!!!!!!

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40 Freaking Years?

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In the top picture of course I am the little girl at five years old when my dad and step-mother got married. My mom told me years later, that each gift they opened, I sat in my chair and kept saying let me see it, let me see it!

In the choir photo I am in the third row up, second from the left, in grade nine. Look at that flip on my hair ends. This was produced from rolling on huge rollers then sleeping on them each night. I would never attempt this today, I want to feel that fluffy pillow calling my name.

The bottom photo is me today. I don’t know what to think about it. I have produced three great children, worked in burger joints, worked for the telephone company as a phone operator, worked in retail stores and grocery stores at seasonal times, and worked as a mommy also. I owned my own antique business for several years, refinishing antique furniture. I have been a professional caregiver for over 20 years, caring for strangers and family. Today, I still care for family and also write.

Tomorrow evening I am going to my 40th class reunion. I have never attended any before so this is my first. I am really being shy, knowing I have gained weight, am a divorced woman, and do not have a so-called career. What am I going to talk about? Do I have anything to say besides caring for Al? Will anyone find my life interesting enough to hang around and chat for a while? Will they look at my name tag and stand back in shock because I am not the smaller version of me with no tum-tum?

I am really nervous, but I have to go. I may not be around for the next one, and I really do want to see old friends, and besides, I have a caregiver expected to be here so I can have time for myself. Now let’s kick my butt and head me towards that door!