I was reading some stories about how marijuana should be legalized everywhere. My thought is should it be legalized for any purpose or be used strictly with a prescription for medical purposes?
I went through some pretty heavy months with my brother as he went through his journey of Multiple System Atrophy. When you are on Hospice, a lot of medications that were used prior are taken off your list and more types of pain medications are now the choice of drug.
I can’t speak for anyone else. I can only talk about my own experience with my brother. MSA is not a curable disease. Therefore, when it comes down to weeks and days, there is nothing truly left to do but attack and zone in on controlling the pain.
Every medication that was given to Al, produced a side-effect that wasn’t pretty to see. Some medications cause seizures. Other pain medications take a once smiling face and turn it into a zombie state.
When one becomes available and I discover it works, I learn that it is short-term. The only choice I had was to switch medications and put Al in a trial and error position again or increase the dosage of what he was using.
I did try the trial and error but didn’t like Al having to pay the price of side-effects. I finally stuck with the one that worked or ones that worked and increases were made usually on a weekly basis.
The last few weeks of Al’s life were nothing to brag about. I didn’t know Al any longer. I was never sure if he knew me or even knew where he was. When you choose the strongest medications on the market, it is hard to believe that the patient can suffer even more, while in your heart, you just want to help ease the pain and make the last days comfortable.
I felt terrible and wished for a better way. The ideal medication was to help Al be eased from the terrible pain and yet have him here mentally with me. If only we could see the future of what decisions we make today, life would be much more simple and decisions may be changed.
For me, now that Al has departed this earth, I look back and believe if marijuana was legal in our home state, I definitely would have looked into it. If there are side-effects, they are small indeed compared to chemical drugs.
Al and I would have spent more quality time watching TV together or talking about his last wishes. I wouldn’t have sat or stood by his bed for so many hours wondering what he was thinking or maybe wondering where he was. His body was there, still and empty. His mind was definitely not with me.
Who I am 