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Ten Minutes to Midnite and Al had a Visitor

I am not writing this to put anyone in a sad mode nor for any other reason than I have been alone…

Ten Minutes to Midnite and Al had a Visitor

Posted on January 1, 2014 by Who I am

I am not writing this to put anyone in a sad mode nor for any other reason than I have been alone with Al since before supper last night and I am just beat. This is one of those posts that is for me to just get it out in the open instead of reliving it.

Last night wasn’t that bad. Things didn’t begin to get worse until 11:50pm. Yes, ten minutes before the new year kicked in. I was sort of listening to the New Year’s Eve program and Al was watching Dave Letterman.

All of a sudden Al calls me in his room in the loudest voice I have heard out of him in some time. I went in and he said, ” Look, we have a visitor.” I looked around but I didn’t see anyone.

He went on with, ” Right here, beside me. Look beside me.” I looked but didn’t see a thing. Although I will admit I caught my breath and the hairs on my arms stood straight up.

” Jesus is here.” I was speechless. Al went on to tell me that Jesus was sitting right beside him just watching him. Then suddenly Al began praying. I could make out some words he was saying but he was talking so soft that I struggled to hear.

I could hear him saying, ” Please take me home. Please take me home. I am sick. I want to go home”. This praying went on for about ten minutes. The clock was ticking down to midnight. I was holding Al’s hand while the people on the TV were laughing and having a good time. Then the numbers started. !0,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1, Happy New Year.

Al quit breathing. My heart was racing. I looked all around the room but saw nor felt anything, but I knew without a doubt Al was seeing and having a conversation with God right there in front of me.

Finally he gasped and took a deep breath. Had he almost gone to heaven with Jesus? Had his heart decided to stop for a moment? I don’t know what happened but then it was over.

Al laid silent and I stood beside him stroking his hand. It seemed we were this way for sometime. He went to sleep and I went to bed going over in my mind what had just happened.

It felt weird. The world was moving into a new year and yet I remained glued to 2013. Time was speeding by me and yet standing still.

He was restless last night during the night. I was up with him several times. His hands and fingers are pretty swollen today. I don’t know if it is from his hands contracting or if it is his MSA or heart. The nurse will be here tomorrow and I shall be asking, although she will most likely notice it right away.

So here it is 2014. The hopes are brought into this new day. My hope is still that Al finds peace sooner than later.

Daily Prompt; Shoulda Woulda Coulda / The Daily Post

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Who I am

http://dailypost.wordpress.com

Tell us about something you know you should do . . . but don’t.

Wow this is one prompt that forces me to look at how bad I am. I like it better when I look at the positives in my life. I have worked very hard at not knocking myself down. I used to be very bad at it and had little confidence. I don’t even think the word was in my own personal dictionary.

Now here I am looking through my mental list of bad things I have let slide through my life. The number one thing I do that I should not is smoke. You can give me all the reasons in the world as to why I should not smoke those packs of cigarettes, but the real truth lies with the fact; I am not ready to quit.

The number two thing I should do but don’t is lose weight good or quickly. Every year I can count on the numerous commercials on the television to pop-up as soon as New Years is over. This is almost bigger than the toy commercials for kids at Christmas. It preys on our minds and feeds our guilt over not being as totally fit , healthy and skinny we should be.

I imagine that there is more money made in the first three months after the new year than the entire year in total. I think it is a darn shame that these companies feed on our self-worth.

Do you know how sick and tired I get of hearing these actors state how they lost thirty to fifty pounds in just three months? You get to see the before and after photos of these people.

It reminds me of the men who portray themselves as bald men. They use the expensive treatments to grow more hair. Before and after photos. I have studied these photos for months. I swear on my mother’s life that some of the before and after men are not even the same man. There are slight changes I have been able to pick out to prove to me they are two separate people.

When I became too fat for comfort and my diabetes was out of whack I made a decision to change it. I followed Dr. Gott’s words and ate nothing that was white. No white sugars, bread, pastas or rice. Everything had to be whole wheat, whole grain. It worked and it was fairly easy. I lost almost 100 pounds. I could never be on one of those diet commercials because it took me almost a year and a half to lose that weight.

My doctor told me in one of my visits recently that the old-fashioned way of losing weight was the best. He said it was and still remains the counting of calories. I usually have counted carbs and sugars but I have changed. This has allowed me to still lose but the plus was I was able to eat a little bit more of a variety of foods. I now feel like I am not being cheated out of the food enjoyment area as long as I continue to lose the weight. I am allowed 1500 calories each day. This is easy for me now. I still don’t eat regular sugar and I try hard not to use sugar substitutes because of cancers. I just divide 1500 into 3 meals and I get 500 calories per meal.

I don’t snack usually through the days and I allow myself up to 7 Hershey Kisses as my bed time snack. I go by the carbs on this snack. I have a tendency to have my sugars drop too low through the night if I am eating correctly through the day. Eating sugar at night helps keep me safe.

I am sure I have many more shoulda woulda couldas but these two are my biggies in my opinion.

Daily Prompt: Shoulda Woulda Coulda, Maybe (linesbylinda.wordpress.com)
Shoulda Woulda Coulda – Daily Prompt (thebottomofabottle.wordpress.com)
The Bliss of “Did” (onthehomefrontandbeyond.wordpress.com)
Shoulda Woulda Coulda (yeahthtsme.wordpress.com)
Daily Prompt: Shoulda Woulda Coulda (daddysnaughtylittlegirl.wordpress.com)
Daily Prompt: Shoulda Woulda Coulda (thebloggingpath.com)
Daily Prompt: Shoulda Woulda Coulda (writingcanvas.wordpress.com)
Daily Prompt: Shoulda Woulda Coulda (smileyface80.wordpress.com)
Daily Prompt: Shoulda Woulda Coulda (peeksi.wordpress.com)
hCGTreatments / Diet Doc hCG Diets & Weight Loss Plans Announces New Sugar Free Meal Replacement Shakes for Fast Weight Loss (prweb.com)

Update on Exercise Class and Walking Track

Posted on January 4, 2013 by Who I am

Well catching up here with you about my exercise class and walking. I did go, yeah! I went in and paid my dollar for my class. I borrowed a locker key and they held my purse as ransom.lol

I put my coat and boots in the locker and put my clean dry shoes on and walked to the room that the class was to be held at. There was one lady there. She was much older than I. Completely white-haired. I asked her if this was the right room and she said yes. She told me that they usually walk the track for about fifteen minutes, so I went to the track. It isn’t a big track. It takes 19 laps to make one mile. I walked three times around it then saw others were going into the class.

I found two, three pound weights and grabbed those along with a stretch band. Eventually about 9 people were seated. One man, and the rest ladies. The man was white-haired also with a long white beard. He was 85 years old and had, you will never believe this, he had Parkinson’s!

I was the baby of the class. The only one with any color in my hair, of course the secret is hair dye! I looked around and felt a little uncomfortable being so much younger, but stayed. A hottie guy came in. He was somewhere in his twenties. He was the teacher. He spent about ten minutes chatting about New Years and such. Then we got down to the hard work.

I had worn my spandex pants with a spandex top and a T-shirt over it. I was ready to sweat it out, but it never happened. We mainly sat on straight chairs and did stretches. We used the weights maybe twice. We used the stretch bands about five minutes. There was no music and it was very quiet in the room.

I asked why there was no music and he asked,”Why should there be”? I explained that when I was in Florida I belonged to a senior fitness group. We did mat exercises and foot movements and light aerobics to some hip hop music. It was up beat and really got us all going. He said, “oh, isn’t my voice enough”? I didn’t say anything more.

Inside I was thinking,this isn’t going to work. This class is not for me. They don’t do enough because I am not even breaking a sweat. You get what you pay for, a dollar for class, a dollar’s worth of stretches. I think I expected more.

When the class was about over he had us walk three more laps. All together I walked six laps, so what is that? Six out of nineteen makes a mile. Maybe I walked a third mile? After class I spoke to the director about a harder class. The next class level up was 30.00 more, so I would have to pay 50 a month and I just can’t afford that.

I left the building wondering if I should go back next Tuesday. This class is on Tues and Thurs. I stopped at the pharmacy and got my medications and then came home. After I was home about an hour, I thought, I wonder if the little bit I did helped my sugar numbers at all. What the heck, I will check them anyways.

I have been fighting with my sugars ever since Al has been placed. They were constantly in the two hundreds. It isn’t outrageously high, but too high, and high enough to be on insulin. I was shocked, totally buggy eyed. My sugars were 98. 98 in the middle of the day! Wow! I didn’t sweat but my body responded to the work that I had done and the few laps I took of walking. So I am going back. For now, as long as the mild exercise works I will pay the dollar. If I get to the point that my body becomes plateau, I can continue the walking as much as I like. I do better in a class situation with other people though, so I hate to give the class up. Exercising here at home alone never works. I make it about three days then I quit.

So all in all, I was very happy. I didn’t sweat, I wasn’t in pain, and yet my sugars were way down. I did it!!!

It’s a Fight Over Fitness in Santa Monica’s Parks (abcnews.go.com)
The “Younger” Senior Citizen (1mtg.wordpress.com)
It’s a fight over fitness in Santa Monica’s parks (cnsnews.com)
Health Tips & Advice For Seniors – MedicareSupplementalInsurance.com (medicaresupplementalinsurance.com)
A New Year. (mikesasso.wordpress.com)
Calif. residents fight against fitness fanatics in parks (foxnews.com)
Fitness Instructor Helps Seniors Keep Their Balance (statenisland.ny1.com)

The Rose

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Who I am

To my brother whom I love so dear

I know you are there and I am here

My thoughts are with you every day

As we walk together and separate ways

I know that you are dealing with all of this

While I am still dealing with hit and miss

Tonight is New Year‘s Eve, and I am thinking of you

I hope you are happy and not too blue

My thoughts and prayers are all for you

As we gather close and pray for all new

I will be always be near you and by your side

As you go through this illness that will not hide

Don’t ever feel alone dear brother

Walking beside you is your loving mother

I ask our God to heal you in this new year

I ask that he also whisper in your ear

And tell you that he and I love you so

I will leave the Rose, so you will always know

Love you brother

Terry Shepherd

12/31/2012

Spiritual Sibling Slander (klbellwether.com)
dad loved you best (ask.metafilter.com)
#1 – Love your siblings (somelifetips4u.wordpress.com)
family is more than blood – it’s an ongoing choice (derekmaul.wordpress.com)
Siblings Kinship (diaryofaliberalsoul.wordpress.com)
Siblings throw concert to pay for mother’s cancer as Christmas gift (ksl.com)
Dear Coleen: My siblings didn’t tell me our sister had died (mirror.co.uk)

Saying Goodbye To Tragedy in 2012, Let us Go Into The New Year With New Hope

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Who I am

Saying Goodbye To Tragedy in 2012, Let us Go Into The New Year With New Hope.

Very Inspiring Blogging Award

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Who I am

http://utesmile.wordpress.com

Ute is whom I woke up to this morning. When I realized she had nominated me for this award, I smiled.

To know that there are some who think I inspire them is truly a gift given to me.

To me, I am no one special. I write from my heart and soul only. I want to thank Ute and others who have nominated me for this, letting me know that my words are worthy or writing.