Empty Faces


Empty spaces

Empty faces

Eyes glazed

Sleepy and dazed

Slouched in their seat

Feeling defeat

People walk by

No reason why

Not stopping to say

How are you today

Just another face

Among  human race

Another mouth to feed

To a heart that does bleed

Take them back to their room

That  is so full of gloom

Change their pants and then

Toss them to bed once again

No one taking the time

To see if they are fine

Walk by the door

Nope they’re not on the floor

Get them up one more time

Get them in the feeding line

Give them a bath or a shower

Get it done within an hour

Then put into bed

Without anything said

She asks as I leave

Can you come here please

Can you sit for a while

Can you offer me a smile…………..

Terry Shepherd




Me and My Camera

Today I went unannounced to see Al. When I first saw Al he looked like he was getting ready to cry. He perked up a little when he saw me. I took him some more treats and picked up the weapons.

I didn’t order lunch today after it was served to me cold the day before. I have to pay $3.50 for a guest tray and I would rather not eat then to pay and eat cold food. Al had lasagna and other things. The kitchen had not cut up his main dish and he kept trying and trying to do it himself. He did a couple of bites and then just started tremoring like crazy and crying.

He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and cried saying, “I can’t do it. I really tried.” I understood but didn’t want to butt in until he gave me the signal. A couple of nurses walked by and saw him crying but why should they stop and ask anything, I was there. After they walked back by one did stop and ask and I said, ” He can’t cut this food. His hands are too weak. The kitchen should have cut it up or something.”

The nurse looked around like she was seeking help but no angels appeared. She gave a sigh and cut his food. While he was eating I took his goodies down to his room. I had taken my camera in with me today just in case.

When I walked into his room I was a little surprised at what I saw.

bed padPee stains

al's bedspreadHis bedspread and dirty clothing

al's pillowHis pillow

nail clippersWeapon number one

screwdriversWeapon number two

I took the weapons and put them in the sack I had taken Al’s goodies out of. I kept them in the sack so no one would try to set off alarms and call the police for attacker being in the building. This way they were safe and I wasn’t frisked.

I went back to where Al sat and stayed with him through his meal. I stopped a Nurse once again. I asked very nicely, “Sometime before I leave I would really appreciate it if someone would please change Al’s bedding.”

She said, “He had a shower yesterday. The beds are changed then.”

“I have the proof here on my camera that they are dirty. Shall I pull the camera out so you can see it for yourself?”


She turned around and walked off. Soon one of the department heads flew by me. Was there a fire? What the +++ is going on? Should I get Al and run out the front door?

In about ten minutes she came back with an aide. She came up to me and stopped. Taking a breath and pushing her hair out of her eyes the department head said, “His bed is changed. We don’t usually do this except on bath and shower day.”

“Well at my house we do it different. If it gets dirty, we change it, even if it is seven days a week or more than once a day. If I wouldn’t want to lay in dirt, then I have to assume Al doesn’t either.”

She smiled at me and left. Her aid or helper smiled at me and she left. I helped Al finish his dessert and then took him back to his room. Bed was all nice and neat. I helped Al to the potty and he was soaked. Brief and outer pants. Just then the driver who takes Al to his outings on the two days a week walked in.

I explained that he had soaked through and we had to change his brief and outer pants. I said he should be fine now for a few hours. I added, “Would you like to take an extra brief with you in case he would have an accident?”

She looked at me and said, ” I don’t change briefs.”

Well good luck my dear brother. I did manage to get  a clean bed for you. You are on your own now. Please stay dry until you return.

Get Your Rear Up!

Today, I did not do crap. I didn’t clean, I only fixed myself something to eat when I got hungry. I didn’t do much but play with Polly, work on her potty training, and sleep. I visited with my daughter-in-law and grandson for a little while. Wow, Polly does so good with potty training, and then as I say it out loud, she makes a liar out of me.

Last night I gave in and she slept beside me in my bed. She had her pillow and I had mine. She had her blanket, and I had mine. She only whimpered once at three a.m., and I had her potty on a newspaper. She did it immediately, and we both went back to bed and we slept, until 5:30 this morning, and then she woke me up by licking my face. She not only had to go potty, she was ready to play, so Terry, get your rear up, the day has started.

Tomorrow, I am going to go see Al, and even though he made a disapproving face when I told him about the gift of Polly, I am going to take her in so he can meet her. We shall see what he thinks of her. I hope that this is a nice visit, but if not, I have the choice to once again walk out the door.

I took a few more photos and added it to my web group on Facebook. If any of you would like to visit, just request an add to the group. The link is:


Doctor’s Visit



I took Al to the doctor today to get results and make any changes to medications from his blood work. After he did his comparison from two months ago, we then began to chat about Al’s present problems, his Parkinson’s.

I left feeling sort of lost and confused and unloved. Yes, unloved by the doctor. LOL I felt like I could be in charge of anything at the doctor’s office. Everything I asked, his response was what ever you want to do. Really? Anything? At that precise moment, I had a splitting headache that started building fifteen minutes after I woke this morning,  precisely when Al got up. He started this bright, sunny day off with tears and cries of pain, coming from all over his body. Now would probably not be the correct time to let me have full reigns over the prescription pad.  LOL

The doctor observed Al in action with heavy tremors, and major tear attacks, snotty nose running to the floor, and asked Al what he wanted to have happen, and Al stated he wanted to go to a nursing home. The doctor looks at me and says, if that is what he wants than you should do it!

I changed the subject for a moment, and asked him why he could not give Al big time medications, that really would help dull his pain, then maybe he would not feel so bad and be so darn depressed. His remark was constipation. What? Yes, constipation. The types of medications Al has been taking for pain so far causes the increase of constipation. So then I sort of snickered and said that his entire family has dealt with this his whole life. Al was born without the sphincter muscle. This cute little muscle lets you know the correct time you need to head to the bathroom for poop duty, and when you don’t have one, you have to make a schedule for yourself to go every day at a  certain time, to try to train the body. Constipation was our family’s middle name while I was growing up. After supper each day, I heard, Al head to the bathroom and sit until you produce results! Boy, those were the days, but they all flooded back once I started to care for Al, as we have to do the same thing, and now with his obsession, I am trying to untrain him, and now I learn constipation can be a problem. Which way do I go, which way do I go!!!

I told the doctor that if he didn’t give Al some grown up medications I was not going to be able to care for him any longer, and he says, what ever you want. In the end, he gave Al and increase of one of his pain medications and introduced him to another one more in tune for his leg pains.

We went to our pharmacist and ordered the medications and ate lunch at the back counter, while waiting for them to be filled. The pharmacy is so sweet. They have known Al and me since we were five, and when the medications were ready they hand delivered them to us so Al could take one of each right there.

After that scene was over, we came home, and I think Al was beginning to feel a little bit better. He walked a half-inch faster than usual. I sure hope they help. I helped him get settled and he is now in his recliner watching television until the precise minute has arrived to take his nap.

I came back out to the kitchen and noticed I had gotten so wrapped up in Al, that I had totally forgotten to pick up my own medications for my diabetes that I had called in yesterday. This caused me to have to call in and let them know that I would definitely be in tomorrow for them before they closed.

Now I am resting, but my head feels like a teflon skillet is on top instead of the cast iron skillet. Maybe I will just mosey over to the living room couch and take a little snooze when Al does. It can’t hurt me, and it may help.

I have an appointment to hear options about placing Al this coming week. Placement has been moved from the back burner of my brain to the front burner, but I can’t help hoping that the right medications could produce a bit happier brother, and if it does, I can deal with the rest of the crap, no pun intended. LOL, and if it doesn’t, at least I am working on the placement thing.