I’m Tired


I’m tired

For the first

Time I want to

Give up to give in

To fight no more

I feel powerless

I feel like God

Isn’t listening

Nor does he

Care anymore

I don’t hear or

Feel any presence

Is this what is to

Happen, you want my soul?

The system is

Against a peon

Like me who

Only has emotions

And words but no

Way around it

I am tired

And I feel

Like I am drowning

Do what you want

With me for I

Am too fired to fight

English: Sunset at Ocean Beach in San Francisc...

I am a snail

Crawling around

On the rocks

Waiting for the

Sea to suck me in

Terry Shepherd

05/18/2013

War Brings a Miracle


Military-hospital

Military-hospital

With his cane in one hand and a leash in the other he walked the shore line. Each step he took, his shadow followed, helping pave the way. Each morning Dan and his dog, Colonel walked the sandy beaches.

Dan would find his favorite spot and stand gazing out over the ocean. Memories finding their way back to the surface. Where once upon a time he was a prisoner behind walls of a military hospital. His mind was locked and nothing would come to him when he lie back on his pillow. Staring into blackness  not even wondering who he was or what he was doing there.

At one time shot in the back of the head by the enemy forcing him into a deep coma for many months. Being fed by tubes and checked on hourly, he never moved nor blinked. Hidden within his own walls of protection he lay waiting for a kiss from the frog.

Visitors came and went. Doctors and nurses changing shifts, but he didn’t notice. There was no hope left to cling to. He would lie there until death came and knocked at his door wanting to take him home.

Then one day a fellow service man stopped by his bed. Deep in the shadows of his brain something triggered. A familiar voice from a friend gone by. Electricity began to spark within the cranial. Small lightening connecting tissue to nerve brought forth a new life.

Then his lungs took on a new look as breathing became deeper. Fingers gently moved and soon the footing of the bed stirred. Eyes opened and he looked into his buddy that he had served with during war.

A loving touch placed on his arm and a finger felt on his face as tears were being wiped a way. Arms outstretched grabbing hold of a cotton gown bringing warmth of another human life.

Doctor and nurse standing in back ground muttering, it’s a miracle, just plain nothing but a miracle.

The friend left so Dan could rest. He assured him he would be back the following day. Dan was once again tested and no miracles could be seen to the visible eye. But yet each hour Dan stayed awake more and more.

Soon he was taken off of the tubes and was fed soft diets. Each day his buddy would come and visit. He would sit with him and help him with his therapy so that one day he was able to stand on his own two feet with the help of only a cane.

Talk between the two was of the past war. Bits and pieces of what Dan heard began to click. A story of pride and love and strength formed in his head. God had done a miraculous job of hiding or destroying all the terrible things Dan had seen.

His friend lived on an ocean front and his wife had passed away suddenly. He was all alone and needed a friend. Dan needed a place to go and the invitation to come live with his comrade didn’t need second thinking.

The day came and Dan was introduced to the ocean. A new friend was introduced, whose name was Colonel. Each day grew a deeper bond between war buddies and man’s best friend. Each week brought renewed strength. Until a new habit was formed. You could always count on Dan and Colonel being seen together looking out over the ocean’s view.

The Soul Speaks


Healthy feet of an 11-year-old girl who regula...

Looking out over the ocean, she stands there in awe, as a vast wave comes closer to her, knowing this wave could whisk her away and into the depths of the waters, never to be found again, swimming as a mermaid, running from all problems that were dealt with the prior day.

To have no one to answer to and no one to cause pain is the direction she dreams of following. Work calling her name too often, the telephone ringing too much, she dreams of a paradise of silence, where no one knows her name any longer.

A stranger passes by and with his head nods in her direction, raising a hand in a gesture that shows me he is friendly. What is his name, what does he want? Can it be true that he is just crossing over to the other side of her, not wanting anything, not knowing her reasons for standing at the water’s edge?

He walks by leaving her once again staring and wishing she herself was a wave in this huge body of water. Able to be swiftly taken to other areas unexplored and waiting  to be called to, hearing her name being whispered to come with me and you shall never experience pain again.

Thoughts of the past flash before her eyes. Memories of laughter, tears, and joy and sadness wash over her like soft petals dropping from a rose flower. Shivers creep quickly over her entire skin that hides and covers the soul that is meant to carry such heavy loads.

Faces of the past come straight towards her, forcing her to remember past relationships where trusts were once formed but now broken in half. Friendships that were there from years long ago, now disappeared, only being thought of as if seeing a shooting star for the very first time. A smile comes over the face and then fades quickly away, as the truth of her life comes back into focus.

Now being forced to walk along the edges of areas unknown, relying on strangers to direct her path in life.Wanting to believe what is being said, but fears of non trust rise to the surface, once again pulling up the borders of her heart, keeping it protected from those who do not care. Those vultures in the sky that fly in circles ready to sweep down and take the life that you have breathed for so long. One bite from their mouth can send you flipping upside down and sending you into the orbits of space, never quite sure if you will return standing on your feet once again.

Life is hard and yet she knows that so many make it sound so easy. Trust, trust in something, in someone, this is the way you survive living, and each step you walk forward, you look backwards to see if you are still following, or have you lost your way and are nothing but a shadow in your own path.

Can she really think of herself at this point in her life? Can she pretend that it is she that is standing alone out here at the water’s edge, or should she acknowledge that pieces of her past and present are floating like bubbles on the water’s surface.

She walks away from the edge, kicking sand pebbles with her bare feet, feeling the warmth of its surface upon each step taken. The thoughts of the ocean calling her name remain with her, as she goes back into reality, trying once more to make her own mark in this world.