Phobias


We all have our little quirks don’t we? Most of the time we don’t realize them until someone points them out, or we are out of our home and we realize we aren’t following our routine.

Some have coffee before that first cigarette. Others let their pets out to potty. Some even check Facebook before their feet hit the ground from the bed. Yes, we all have something that is part of our personality.

My one thing I have issues with is medicine. I was diagnosed with Diabetes about 33 years ago. If anyone is a diabetic, you probably remember the adjustment time. Trial and error of different medications until the doctor is satisfied that at this point this amount of pills and doses are set.

That happened to me too, but I was given too strong of medications for a little over a week. What happened is I would be out running errands or taking a walk and my sugar would bottom out. I remember one time I passed out in front of a store. God was with me because the owner of that store came out to me and asked me if I was a diabetic and when I responded yes he took care of the problem right away. Yes, there are certain signs that others can read when diabetics are getting to an unsafe number.

Ever since that time I have had a phobia about new medications. As long as I am taking something that I have had before, I am real good. If you give me something different I have never tried I can go into a panic attack fairly easy.

I used to have my daughter close by and when I started a new pill she would stay with me for a couple of hours, but for the last several years I haven’t put my big-girl panties on all the way. I get them half-way pulled up and blow it.

I can sometimes cut the pill and make the start this way. Other times I can get the pill up to my lips and feel my body go completely hot and chicken out. I get so mad at myself but no matter how angry I get I don’t get past it.

Now, today I am seeing a brand new doctor for the first time since I have moved to Kentucky. In the back of my mind I am sweating it out. I am wondering if this doctor will be understanding and see things from my view, or if he will literally laugh out loud.

In the past I had a doctor who I frequented for about six months. On one particular visit she informed me that she was dismissing me from her list of patients on the grounds that she gave the instructions and I wasn’t following. Once again the issue was on taking new medications I had not had. She flat-out told me she was the doctor, I was the patient. I didn’t have the badge, she did.

There is not a big choice of doctors in this small town that my medical insurance takes so I am hoping this new doc and I hit it off.

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