Hello Friends

Hello friends, I just wanted to let you know why I haven’t been on here of late. The simple truth is; I just don’t feel well. Walking is something I deal with each day. For some reason, this past week has been awful. I am still waiting for a good few days to come.

My legs are feeling heavy; sort of like 2 cement blocks. This makes my walking more difficult. Along with the gait and fatigue, I just don’t or haven’t felt good enough to blog. Last evening when I was in bed watching TV, I got an electrical shock down my fingers.

I have had this before, but this time the shock did something to my fingers on one hand. They are sore and don’t grasp very easily without pain. I am waiting for this to pass also. So, I just wanted to let you know I am still here, but waiting for a better day to blog.

Parkinson’s Disease Grabs Everything It Can

Today, I took my brother to our favorite restaurant, Zales Pharmacy, to eat lunch, as we had to pick up a refill for him. He walked in like an old drunk, staggering and tipping to one way and then the other, but his smiles were on full force, and the hand was waving to all he saw. He had a great appetite, and told the waitress that he just knew his stomach wanted dessert today. She laughed with him. All the employees at Zales think Al is pretty terrific. They have known us since we were tiny tots and have followed Al all through his years and his PD.

On our way home Al was laughing at me because I was stopping anywhere my eyes could catch a photo to shoot with my new camera. He said geesh, Terry, do you have to stop in the middle of the street? What if a car comes? I told him, I will move on then, no biggie.

We stopped at the grocery store and I got just a few things to keep all in stock, which came to $56.00 for two bags! I need to go into production management, where the money is being made. LOL

Then we came home and he had a therapist that was to come at 3:00pm, and she ended up being fifteen minutes late, and that set him up for smiles be gone attitude, why? Because it was his nap time, and he likes to take his nap at the same time each day, so when she got here, he was not very happy.

She made him walk outside on the ramp to her car and back, and she noticed that he does not pick up his feet, that he shuffles them. She said this was from the PD and there was not much she could do about that. She made him use his cane for balance and then he had to move his arms, holding the cane for balance, back and forth, trying to move only from the waist, but then he could not do this and she said his body was too rigid and stiff, and that his head did not move with the waist.

I watched as Al struggled through this, and then had to turn my back to the two of them, because all it did to me was show me how stiff his body was becoming.

She tried to get him to do some dance steps, simple ones, but his legs did not want to move. Finally she could get nothing else out of the work out, and his face was moody and full of blank staring. She kept talking to him and he was not talking anymore.

I felt sort of bad, because I had worn him out taking him out, but I needed his medications, and also he was a little ruffled at the thought of his nap being late. She left and told him she would be back on Wednesday, and he got up and headed for his bed.

I was a little ashamed of him because he should not show this kind of behavior just because he is not getting his way, but I did not say anything to him because he is a child in a man’s body, and his body was sore and tired from being out and his work out.

When he got up from his nap, I fixed him bacon and eggs for supper, yes, it was an easy supper for me tonight. I just don’t enjoy cooking anymore, especially when I am not hungry. He said he did not want any pain pills and then after coming to the living room, he asked when he was going to take his medications. I said you just did bud, you took them with your supper. He said oh, I didn’t see them or remember taking them, and then he asked me when is he going to have supper.

I find this confusion happening more often than not. Not with any memories of the past, but with the present living. Just think one year ago, he did not use a cane, or a walker, and he did not have a scooter. One year ago, he was continent, and he used to fill his own medications for the week. Now I hide the medications because he doesn’t always believe that I gave them to him and will try to find them. One year ago, he could tell me what he read years ago, and what happened in a chapter. Now the only thing he reads is his big print bible, or he looks at his coco cola books or he watches  reruns, because he remembers them from before and does not have to figure out the plot.

I am so glad for the smiles for these two days, and since they are back, can we send the other things that are progressing to the returns department?

 

Calm Tremors

The sleep that I got did me so much good

I’d wish for it each night, if only  I could

I had the energy today of a big  jumping jack

I cleaned the house thoroughly never looking back

The hospital bed and commode are in place

I cleaned his room and also threw the waste

I sorted the summer and winter wear

With his weight loss, now the closet is bare

His tremors were calm, and a smile did show

So I took him to supper and then we did go

To Wal-Mart he headed straight for the toys

To buy a new car, he fitted in with all little  boys

He grinned as he picked it and showed it to me

I smiled at him, as proud as a sister could be

I wish every day was just like today

But I will take what I can and thank God for this day.

 

The Box

A dear friend of mine here in WordPress has a son who wanted to share some of his very own collection with my brother, Al. Nothing brings a smile to my brother quicker than coca-cola.

I was informed that this package was going to be mailed out, and I was so excited for Al to receive it, and it was very hard for me to keep my big mouth shut, and not give it away, that he was going to receive a box in the mail for his very own.

Today it arrived. It had been a bad day, as we are starting to have problems with yet a new situation. I won’t go into details, because I don’t want anyone to get squeamish or end up having to run to their bathroom, but it does have to deal with bathroom duties, so we are now trying to figure out better ways to make life easier for him and for me.

So after supper is over, and he is sitting in the living room on the couch, he tunes in on THE BOX. I am noticing but saying nothing, giggling inside, as I can see his brain ticking, wondering who’s it is.

I am the worst at holding back smiles for others, so I had to say, IT’S FOR YOU! I never saw it coming. He started crying. I asked him why the tears bud? He says he is scared to open it because it could be bad, as it wasn’t his birthday. I said, I think people can be nice and do things for you without reason. I explained how I have come to know this very nice lady, and her son wanted you to have something to add to your collection. He still cried. I placed the box over by me, and told him when he was ready, he could open it.

I waited about ten minutes then looked around to him, and he was lying down to watch TV. I must admit, I don’t understand the brain, nor do I understand the intimate details of this wicked Parkinson’s, but he just didn’t get the connection of any of it.

This past week or two, Al has shown much confusion in comprehension. I understand this is a big part of the Parkinson’s. He stares instead of speaking, and when he looks at me, I can see by the blank eyes, there is no one there for a few minutes.

I couldn’t take it. I cursed the disease, and plastered a smile on my face, grabbed a knife, and cut all the tape so he could open it easily. I placed the box in front of him, and said please open it bud, you are going to love it!

It took him forty-five minutes to take the items out of the box, not because he didn’t want to, but I could actually see the slow-timing in his body. The arm reaches for the paper packaging, used to protect the items, and he grabs one by one, with his hand. He lays the empty bag beside him on the couch. I counted by seconds, and it took his hand twenty seconds to release the paper from  his fingers. My heart broke, as I knew he was trying so hard to keep moving, but the brain was not co-operating.

There is one thing my brother knows, and that is each piece of his collection. He knows when he got it, where he got it, how much he paid for it, and how many he has. As he was taking the goodies out of the box, I would ask him if he liked it, or had one like it or anything generally I could think of in order to get some look of excitement from him. To my despair, he told me he didn’t know if he had this collection piece or not. There were no smiles ever from this, but I do know that he liked it by his signals at the end. He took each piece and went to his room, and I can bet right now he is in there comparing them to his pieces, looking at every detail, and using his book to look at the originals.

Thank goodness he did this. If he would have let the gifts set, I would have known he truly wasn’t here with me tonight. I probably won’t see him again until snack time. This will keep him pretty busy, and help him to not think upon himself.

I want to thank-you dear friend for allowing Al to have an evening to enjoy himself. He may not have actually shown it like we do with awes and wow’s and smiles, but I know that he at least still has the ability to feel from within, and connect in his own ways to his coca cola.