peaceful | Who I am

Al woke up just as the shower girls came in this morning. For a few hours he was very chatty and seemed very content. He ate puree french toast sticks, 2), and some juice. After the shower was over, the caregiver and I, mainly her, dug into his room, bagging up so many supplies that we knew he would never use again.

Then he went to sleep around 11am and never woke up again unless we woke him up. He did eat lunch but complained of heartburn most of the evening. Except when he was wanting to tell me about his heartburn he slept.

I woke him up for supper. He ate about five bites of macaroni and cheese. I had made him a diet coke, chocolate syrup, and ice-cream slushy. He made the most wicked face when I gave that to him. I think it was very cold.

His neck is so sore, that when I try to move his head he flinched in pain. It is a shame that they have so many cancer treatments but no treatment for this deep of pain. But of course there are medications that do the opposite of what they are supposed to do when he takes them, so we are limited.

The story I told you last night about the Texas Catheter was continued this morning. The movable parts had to be taken off and a thorough cleaning to all. Stacy, the caregiver was showing the utmost patience when after a half hour went by, she finally got a new one on.

I called the Hospice team and questioned them on why we were being forced to deal with this whole catheter thing. I enforced that we are not nurses. I pleaded that they do this on their visits each week and they agreed. So no more funny stories about the pop-off, run-a-way condoms! LOL I guess maybe I could be speaking too quickly, as that little sucker could come off while I am the only here one here late afternoon on, so I better quit talking about it while I am ahead.

I watched American Idol between checking on Al and doing dishes and tidying up the house. It came snack-time for Al and once again I had to wake him up. Of course he wanted ice-cream with chocolate syrup. I think I need to buy stock in the dairy business, because it is very hard keeping it here in the house!

So all in all the day was busy and yet quiet. I would say that Al slept 12 out of 14 hours, and unless something happens tonight, the midnight hours should be quiet too, knock on wood.

I sort of think that God is getting Al all rested up for his journey. His tremors are once again quiet and his body lays pretty still. He told me that the first thing he is going to do when he gets to heaven is fly over to his Grandma’s in Florida and visit with her. The last thing he requested before lights out, was to pray God comes and gets him tonight. I prayed over him and I told him it was alright if he went, as long as he saved me a spot next to him. His big, blue eyes looked into mine. They became wide but he said nothing. I said, “Blink if you are going to save me a spot.” and he blinked.