How Much Louder Should I Scream


A Renault Kangoo that is able to carry a wheel...

The facts are simple. I know more at times than staff. I have 23 years of care giving experience. I have schooling for Pharmacy Technician. Experience in working in the pharmacy. CNA training plus five years of Hospice work experience. I can give shots. I can use an aspirator. I can take all vitals. I can give temperatures orally and rectal.

I can bathe you in a tub or in your bed. I can wash your hair and never get your clothes wet if you are laying on a bed. I can do a complete bed change without you ever having to rise off the bed. I can help you transfer to the commode or I can get your butt all nice and clean from a dirty brief.

I can soothe your soul by brushing your hair. Promising you I won’t leave you alone. I can sing your favorite songs while you are going home to be with the Lord. I can wipe your brow and wipe your tears. I will hold you while you look into the bright light.

I will fix your meal and if need be I will gently spoon feed you. If you are on a Tube Feeder, I will make sure it is clean, refilled and flushed. I can push you in a wheel chair or hold onto you while you use your independence walking with your walker.

For all of this experience and love and comfort I bring to you, I am not a nurse nor a doctor.

I called into the facility a few minutes ago to let them know I would be picking up Al tomorrow at 1pm after his lunch. I explained I will not be bringing him back until after the supper hour.

I have cleaned and scrubbed and  have the house as germ free as possible for your arrival tomorrow my brother. I have filled an Easter Basket full of your favorite goodies. I am now tired and the thought of picking up that forty pound wheel chair tomorrow makes me more tired.

When I asked how Al was doing they said alright. She told me, “We are going in twice every 8 hours to check on him. We ask if he is in pain, and we tell him to put his light on if he needs us.”

One of my blogger friends suggested I ask for a transport chair to bring him home and take him back, so I thought I would ask while I have her on the phone. She asked,” What’s that?”

The reason I gave you all of my experience is to  not brag or boast. I don’t do that. I wanted to prove a point that not always do you need a license in your hand to know two things. Number one is, What is a transport chair? With your license behind you do you really not know what that is? Number 2, how many times have I said over and over that Al doesn’t use a call light? Not because he refuses, but because he has already forgotten what I taught him two days ago.

If and when Al gets to come home I am going to ask Medicare to help us to get a Transport Chair. It will be much easier for me to transport him and not take up so much room in the car. Believe me, if I could afford it, we would have a SUV or something like it as the regular wheelchair barely squeezes in the trunk even with the seats laying down.

The Path I Followed


I am  having a bored moment. Can you believe it? I am actually waiting for a while longer and then taking Al to the doctor.

I was surfing my Facebook, and came across this saying someone had posted. I stopped and stared at it, and then reread it a couple of times.

I got excited at the prospect that I, me, only me, can make anything happen if I, me, and only me, believe!

This gave me a few moments to reflect back on my life and go over my to do and wish list.

When I was in high school, I had a dream and a plan. I was going to go to college for four years right after graduation and become a physical therapist.

Then I changed it later, and decided that I wanted to be a therapist for troubled teens.

Instead of doing these, I chose the other route, and got married and started a family. Now many years later, after raising my family, the best I knew how, I realize that I have believed in me. I have followed my dream. I am helping others.

I have been a CNA and a Pharmacy Technician, playing both roles for the past 22 years. I have worked with many types of patients, making them comfortable, and I have also helped patients feel better by getting their medications ready for them.

For five years after this, I did private care. I took care of some lovely people, some husband and wife couples, others whose families worked, and needed their loved ones cared for. I was their therapist in some ways. I was a good listener, and I spent quality time with them. I also had my name put on the hospice list in our town, and got a few calls to help care for one who was at their end of life. This was the most challenging and rewarding job I have ever had. It brought me to a different level of humanity. It drew me into the personal lives of their families. It helped me to understand and see first hand how a body prepares for leaving this earth. It is very emotional and your love flows from within straight to their souls.

After leaving hospice, I took care of my own father, who suffered from bone cancer for one year. I was not only his therapist, I was his right hand lady. I did everything for him, except take away his illness. As I laid beside him on his bed, holding his hand, telling him how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him, I had to add also, that I knew and understood why he had to leave me. I told him he would be brand new with no more pains, and to give mom a hug and kiss for me. He died holding my hand a few moments later.

After that chapter of my life was over, I immediately started caring for Al. I have now been caring for him five years this December. For him I have also been his therapist, listening to all he says. I am also his teacher, guiding him hopefully in the right direction. I am his nurse, placing a bandage over his heart. drying his tears with my words, and offering him comfort from the Bible. I use examples of others to help him remain strong. I give all that I am able to give.

He may be mentally challenged, and he may not understand all that is being said to him. He may have moments of dementia, but that only happens in the present world, the past world is very keen to him. Mental challenge is not what people think. It varies in different degrees of it. When someone is mentally impaired, there is usually an area where they are even smarter than I am. God did something special when he created these people. He made them so that they touch our hearts, in ways no others can.

So today, as I look back, I may not have received that four-year college degree. I may not have that

US Navy 060822-N-2832L-128 Navy Lt. Rachel Ode...

US Navy 060822-N-2832L-128 Navy Lt. Rachel Oden, of Casa Grande, Ariz., a physical therapist plays with a young girl during her first day of physical therapy for her neuromuscular control deficits (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

certificate hanging on a wall in an office somewhere, but I have more than this. I have years of experience with the human life, learning to love what we do not call normal. I have learned to be a good listener, and to only offer advice when asked.

I have been given the desire to be a helper. This is who God has made. Me, a human being, capable of loving, feeling, being able to touch others lives, capable of being hurt.

I am happy that even though I didn’t realize it  until this very moment, I have followed God’s path for me, and no matter what others think of my crazy thoughts and ways, I know God is proud of me.