Grandkids and Pizza Hut

Well I am back from the Pizza Hut. I ate with my son, his woman and the three kids. It did me a world of good. I tend to forget my aches when I see how my grandkids love me. I still felt dizzy at times. I don’t know why this happens. My blood pressure is alright, so I blame it on the gait problems of Parkinson’s Disease until I am told different.

There is nothing better than seeing those big smiles when they see me coming and the two older ones yelling, hi grandma! The baby just grins and starts clapping his hands. I had the buffet which is much nicer than I remember. It not only had all the good salad fixins but had pizza varieties and wings.

I did pretty good too. I had thin crust and ate only the crust of one of the slices. Two wings and a big salad and lemon water. Not bad at all and I pat myself on the back for restraining my fingers on the extra carbs.

After we left they wanted to go to Meijer. I drove out there too and got some DiaDerm cream for my feet. With my neuropathy, this cream works so good at keeping my feet from drying out too bad. I have to use it daily, but oh well, I do what I can to save my feet.

I also bought some Yankee Candle Clean Air. It comes in a spray, bead and candle form. Meijer is the only place I seem to be able to find it in the beads. It is a great accent to the kitchen and bathroom, always smelling fresh and not covered-up.

They bought different things including bundles of wood. Although it is warm, they invited me over at dark to have a fire in the pit outdoors. I am going, so I can visit with them more. I better change from shorts to pants because of the  nasty mosquitos.

Here are photos of the 3 grandkids I was with tonight.

To Worry Is Just Crazy

Last night was something else for me. In fact yesterday I sort of fretted most of the day because I…

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To Worry Is Just Crazy

Last night was something else for me. In fact yesterday I sort of fretted most of the day because I had pains in my chest. My fingers were tingling all day long.

After so many hours went by I was convinced I was not having a heart attack. By afternoon early evening I finally figured it out. It is the muscles I use to get Al out of bed or transfers. After all if it would have been a heart attack I surely would not be able to write right now.

My fingers I believe are from tugging and trying to push Al over so he doesn’t get bed sores from laying in the same position too long. I use a half-sheet and grab the ends and with all my might try to get him on to his opposite side.

From worrying a little bit too much I was exhausted by the time he came home from Day Program. I actually was leery of him coming home in case I was wrong. You see I love God but I don’t seem to be able to trust him quite enough to make sure I will be alright.

I have this huge fear that while he is here, I will have a heart attack and fall to the floor or worse and he will be here all alone with no help. It is so stupid, and crazy too. God won’t let this happen. He won’t let Al suffer like that, but no, I have to do things my own way.

Am I ever going to learn? Hopefully. So when he came home I ordered pizza. I had heard about the little Greek restaurant here in town who delivered. The two remarks I heard were positive.

Sometimes I get so sick of the infamous Pizza Hut or Dominoes. Well I called them and they said they made everything at the store including the crust and sauce. I thought, hmm, fresh. I like fresh, so I gave it a try. When it came I was tired but I was having no problem eating the slice because it was awesome pizza. Al even liked it.

So after supper and Al was changed I crashed on the couch for a while Al laid all comfy in his bed watching black and white old movies. He and I had made it. I survived and wasn’t on the floor. We were both resting and our tummies were full.

We Adjust

To those that remember these times….

Pizza Hut, McDonald’s,and instant coffee were unheard of.

How Old is grandma? Stay with this — the answer is at the end. It will blow you away. One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The Grandmother replied, “Well, let me think a minute, I was born before: ‘television ‘penicillin ‘polio shots ‘frozen foods ‘Xerox ‘contact lenses ‘Frisbees and ‘the pill There were no: ‘credit cards ‘laser beams or ‘ball-point pens Man had not yet invented: ‘pantyhose ‘air conditioners ‘dishwashers ‘clothes dryers ‘and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and ‘ man hadn’t yet walked on the moon Your Grandfather and I got married first, and then lived together.Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, “Sir.” And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, “Sir.” We were before gay-rights,computer-dating, dual careers,daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends -not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD’s, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny,and the President’s speeches on our radios. And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. If you saw anything with ‘Made in Japan ‘on it, it was junk. The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald’s,and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar,and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600,but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day: ‘“grass”was mowed, ‘“coke” was a cold drink, ‘“pot” was something your mother cooked in and ‘“rock music” was your grandmother’s lullaby. ‘“Aids” were helpers in the Principal’s office, ‘“chip” meant a piece of wood, ‘“hardware”was found in a hardware store and. ‘ “software” wasn’t even a word. And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us “old and confused” and say there is a generation gap. How old do you think I am? I bet you have this old lady in mind. You are in for a shock! Read on to see — pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time. Are you ready????? This woman would be only 59 years old, Born in 1952 -OUCH THAT HURT!!!.

I Had To Let It Sink In First

I am not really positive on how much about Parkinson’s I want to know. Maybe for me to cope and handle daily issues as they come is better for me.

Today, when I went to the doctor with Al, the doctor was supposed to talk to me about the swallow test. He did check Al with his fingers, probing around the muscles of his throat, and said to me that this was another part of Parkinson’s. He could feel some flex in the throat muscles and he wanted to ask me a question, and then looked at Al.

I am sorry, that I am adding this after the fact that I blogged about it earlier, the doctor visit, but I could not write about this at the time, as it was too sensitive for me at the moment.

I asked Al if he had to use the restroom, and of course he said yes. After Al left the room, the doctor tells me that he has noticed some weakness in the throat area, but am I willing to have a tube feeder placed in Al yet.

I know what tube feeders are. They are used to help feed the body. They also make it nearly impossible to have any kind of normal life. It didn’t take me two seconds to answer the question, no. He explained to me that if the test came back positive, it would change both of our lives, because knowing the tube feeder was in the near future, from the test, and then he closed off the sentence with no ending.

For me it is a whole other chapter, a can of worms to be opened. I am not ready to deal with this yet. There are other alternatives. I don’t want to see Al’s life become useless, alive, lying in a bed, or sitting in a wheelchair, going nowhere. I can’t do it!

Now I understand that the test was not performed, and that even if it was, there was no result as of now for the test.

We talked about a product called thicket, and the doctor thought this was a good alternative for now, so Al and I stopped and picked some up on our way home. I will use it in his beverages, and it will thicken up as much as I allow it to, making it easier for him to swallow. Even as the illness progresses, you can make the drinks so thick, they can be eaten with a spoon.

For me, this is the way to go. It puts the test on hold, and allows it to slip from my mind hopefully within the next couple of days. Time is what I am borrowing, and I will borrow all that I can.

You may be asking, why don’t you just place him. I can’t, not yet. As I said earlier today I cared for others also. Do you know what it is like to give your own father a complete bath? Or to spoon feed him because he is too weak to raise his hand to his mouth? To wipe a way the tears because he is telling you at this moment he is scared he is dying? To sit one day a week for eight hours, and the two of you glance out through the windows, watching cars pass by, and then glance at each other, both realizing this blood transfusion  is what is keeping him alive? To wipe your fathers bottom after he potties because he can no longer do it?

For the first time I am getting it out of me. Talking about it. The terrible pains I went through for love. I divorced easier than watching my father die.  I sat for hours on the porch swing with him, in the summer, him all bundled up in a blanket, and me in a tank top, shorts and barefoot, and I made the swing go because he was too weak to make his feet work. Many times I used a feather bed from a double bed and padded a recliner, set my father in it, and placed pillows under his arms, and legs, and behind his neck, because he couldn’t take the pain of anything touching him. For the last three months, I could no longer hug or kiss my father, as he couldn’t bear the feeling of something touching him.

I took him to every doctor appointment. I talked to insurance companies on a regular basis, fighting for my dad’s rights, while the companies thought nothing of him and only thinking of money they wanted to hang on to. I checked his sugars several times a day, and gave him insulin shots three times a day, as the Prednisone, made his sugars go into the 800-900 ranges. I watched him continually lose weight, and I read the Bible to him. We prayed together, and we cried together. No one came, but maybe twice during this whole time he was ill. I think they were afraid to see him like this.

Now, I am reliving my father all over again, through my brother. I don’t have the responsibilities yet of what I had to do for my dad, but I do know, that while we were eating our supper tonight at Pizza Hut, he pottied all over himself, and this is a sign to me that things will get worse.

I took care of my dad until he died in my arms. I don’t know if I will be able to care for Al this long or not. When my love is strong and the compassion I have for life and people are even stronger, I feel I  can do anything. I will watch over Al and do for him as I did for our father, and when our time is up, I will let him go.