Roseanne | Who I am

The cast of Roseanne. (from top left to top right) Glenn Quinn as Mark Healy, Johnny Galecki as David Healy, Martin Mull as Leon Carp, Estelle Parsons as Beverly Harris and Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris. (From bottom left to bottom right) Michael Fishman as DJ Conner. Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner, Roseanne Barr as Roseanne Conner, John Goodman as Dan Conner and Sarah Chalke as Becky Conner. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt, Daily Post

Pause whatever you’re doing, and ask the person nearest you what
they’re thinking about (call someone if you have to). Write a post
based on it.

There was no one to ask so I looked at the TV that was playing noise in the background. It happened to be the Roseanne Show. This episode is about her husband having lunch with an old-time ex girlfriend.

Whoa! I used to be a regular visitor to this show. I would watch and laugh all the way through it. Inside somewhere deep in me I always wished to be like her without the rudeness.

I have a hard time speaking my thoughts when I am standing in front of another human. My goal in my life has always been to show love and kindness without hurting your feelings ever.

To this day I find this is a terrible way to live. To not be able to voice my thoughts in a nice way hurts me in so many ways. For one, I give people the idea that I go along with what they are trying to convince me of. I will give until the one that hurts in the end is always me.

Now I am to the point that I worry about my own future because of fear to speak up for myself. What is wrong with speaking the truth? Why am I afraid that I will lose relationships if I don’t agree with others? Am I really being fair to them or to me?

I do enjoy helping others but there is a line that should not be crossed. For in the end when I am in need I realize that I am on my own. I have gotten better by speaking up more, thanks to many friends here at WP.

But it has also caused issues because I am not the same person that others thought I was. I don’t want to be considered a push over. I don’t want others to think just go hit her up. Use the right words and you can get what you want.

If I was trading places with Roseanne my words would not be so kind and gentle. My words would not tremble out of my mouth. My hands wouldn’t sweat and the fear of losing friends and family would not enter my mind. My knots in my stomach would be gone.

Roseanne would say, This is the way it is for me. These are my thoughts and mine alone. If you don’t like it tough. If you don’t agree with me, fine. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt as you fly out of my house. I will be here waiting for you when you cool off and we can continue with our friendship.

Then she would go about her business of running her day and loving her family. She has a way with words. I think she is a little rough around the edges but in all, she does get her ideas across. And let’s face it, she must have done something right, because she was a big hit for several years, she is on syndicated stations every day, and she lives on her own island today. Retired and growing nuts. Her bank account will take care of her until death over takes her.

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Ink pink… Bullies stink! (Photo credit:

Roseanne is making some noise in the background while I sit here. The episode that I am listening to perked me up enough to actually let my fingers rest and turn my eyes to the television.

The family is having problems, but when aren’t they? This one is based on a family in the eighties trying to make IT work. Overtime is the issue. Although Dan and Roseanne realize the overtime will help it also trickles over into what to do with the kids. How do we all get fed and who is doing what on the house chores category.

They were all in the kitchen discussing options when Dan realizes Becky isn’t present. He calls her so she is involved also. That is the point where I was having my own flash backs in my life.

I went back to when I was around the age of 10 up to the age of 15 or so. There were only one set of rules at my house. They were known as the Parent Rules. I had no choices in some matters of the house.

I was expected to babysit my baby sister. I was expected to clean the house. Do the laundry and ironing. I was expected to cook what ever mom had laid out in the morning. It was a known fact that I should never come home with less than a C on my report cards. I would never be called down to the school office or I could expect worse when I got home. My parents picked out the style of clothes I wore. I got to pick the colors.

Bills and finances were never discussed in front of us children. Mom and Dad discussed everything that had to do with our family behind their bedroom doors. I never heard screaming or arguing between the two until I was around 17. This may also be that I was older and more in tune with sounds other than from my record player.

There were no family meetings. Where we ate or went in the car was always my parents decisions. We just went along with no questions asked. Our family was not run like a tight ship but it was not an open family either. We were good kids and we had good parents.

But seeing this show helps me see how much life and families have changed. I remember somewhere in the eighties kids were no longer considered kids to parents. They had a new title called friends. Parents were wanting to be friends with their off spring instead of the leader and tour guide.

I wonder what I would have thought if my parents called us kids in for a family meeting. Maybe it was the yearly house insurance bill that was coming due. Would they ask us to give up something in order for them to make that big bill? What would we think? Would we understand?

My parents figured out everything. I grew up thinking that our family was above others. We had no problems. We had no money issues. We lived in a very nice home. We went to church every Sunday.

There were no classes in high school in my day that taught budgeting or finances. Nothing to teach me about saving for an apartment. How to pay the utility bills. Was having a phone a luxury? Or was having enough food to buy groceries more important?

I learned a lot through many mistakes how to make money and time work for myself when I left the family nest. Would I have gotten married later than sooner if I knew more about how life worked? I don’t know and it doesn’t matter now. None of us can go back and change what has already been done.

So I am asking you these questions. Do you think it is better to be more involved as a youth in family matters concerning money? Should kids be able to see that money can be a juggling act? Or should kids be kept hidden like we were? Last question is should parents be the tour guide or the friend?

That last question always makes me ponder. I look at the troubled teens today. Many are brought up to raise themselves. The drug issue is definitely bigger than it was in my day. I am not saying there wasn’t a drug issue then. It is bigger and many more types of drugs now than ever. Easy access seems to be a big issue.

Where do these kids get all the money to buy these drugs and even the guns? Were drugs discussed in the home? Were gun dangers taught at home? I never knew about guns really. I knew they were used for hunting. Drugs were for medical illness.

When I was 17 I learned the most about illegal drugs when a student in my graduating class overdosed and died. Anything else I learned was from head line news or people talking. Along with drugs and guns is now a bigger issue than ever, bullying.

So in closing of my thoughts what should be taught at home versus our schools and friends?