I Lost A Friend

Heart of Jesus

I was so distraught today when I received an email notification from a friend that I used to speak to several times a day here at WP. It was her husband informing me that Sara had taken her life.

My heart broke in to many shattered pieces. I could hear them breaking into tiny puzzles as they hit the floor. My heart went out to the husband as I was reading this short to the point post.

Why? Why did this happen? Although, I am the last one to understand what was actually going on inside her head, I hoped with all my might, that I may at least bring some comfort to her at the point in time of her need.

What allows us to believe that our life is so worthless that the only choice we see in front of us is suicide? What right do we have in the eyes of God to take our own life? I am speaking as a Christian woman here. Some of you may agree and others may not. This is alright. It will not destroy in any way the feelings I carry about you my friend.

I, myself have been so sad for the past few months. There is a light layer of my soul that can understand a person believing there is no way out. Sara blogged and clung to us bloggers just as I do. None of us are guaranteed an easy life. The road we walk until death comes to take us is filled with rocks to climb over and plenty of dips to sink in.

The dips that we fall into are when I try even harder to look towards Jesus Christ. He is the only way to keep from drowning into the pit of death. I believe God wants us to lean heavily on him. He reaches both arms out and we are to take a hold of each one and let him lift us up.

Some of us in this world do not believe in God. Others question if there is even a God out there. I have found over and over that when the dip we fall into is too deep, God reaches his hands farther down and with one request of help me Lord, he will save us.

It breaks my heart for Sara. She and I spoke often about God. She wasn’t sure. She questioned his existence. But, the important thing was she was thinking about it. She was reading the verses. She was searching the word. I don’t know where her mind was at the time she took her life, but I hope that she now has peace and is in God’s hands.

I love you Sara, and I will miss you greatly.

It Only Takes One To Tear Down A Wall

WordPress Logo English: WordPress Logo 中文: Wor...

WordPress Logo English: WordPress Logo 中文: WordPress Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most of us who blog on here believe in what we say or we research and give facts. Others offer great words of praise and encouragement. There is no one that I have met on here who I think is anything else than nice men and women. No one has stalked me. No one has made great laughter at my words. I have had only one time when someone from out of nowhere made a comment that may have been to wake me up, which was to give my brother up to the system,and go live my life. I admit, at first it hurt a tiny bit, but I brushed it aside, realizing this person didn’t know me personally. I am fortunate to have most of my followers and readers  become close enough to me where  I feel comfortable enough to call them by their first name, some of them I have made short cuts in their names such as Buck. Thanks Buck, for letting me call you this and mentioning you in my blog. There is not one of you that are not christian people, and if you are not, you respect my faith that I carry within myself. I feel truly blessed. WordPress has joined together a community that surrounds me daily. Where once before, it was just me and my thoughts, now I wake up knowing that when I get on the computer, there are people waiting to share with me, support me, and go through my journey with me. Leading up to the point I want to make is my dear friend, Sara. http://kyllingsara.wordpress.com/  Sara doesn’t know that I am writing this, and I didn’t think to ask her if this was alright. I hope it is my friend. I am not going to go into any depth about her. If you know her, you know her journey, and if you do not know her, copy and paste the link above, and learn more about her. I believe, and this is my thoughts only, that as followers of God, our job is to spread the word of God. To love they neighbor as thy self. I believe that it is not our place to judge anyone. Only God will do this on judgement day. I may have opinions, but if I can not say something without a promise of support and love following it, then I will say nothing. Who am I, but a mere sinner here on earth. Jesus had to die on the cross to save my soul! I have no right at all to tell anyone if they are right and wrong. I have watched Sara make huge progress, and I have seen a man of faith knock this down with one statement of hurt. She is hurting now and doesn’t know whether to continue with her journey with us or not. I have given her my support, but I can not tell her  to stay or go. I can only have hope. I want to say, I am sorry, Sara. I am sorry for what has been said from someone who follows God, but has decided to take God’s place and judge you today.