Well, it was short-lived. A beautiful, magical 24 hours where Al was at peace with himself and the…
Well, it was short-lived. A beautiful, magical 24 hours where Al was at peace with himself and the…
Well, it was short-lived. A beautiful, magical 24 hours where Al was at peace with himself and the world. But last night he did a 360. At 8pm he suddenly became confused. He didn’t know what day it was, nor time.
He was concerned whether Stacy, the caregiver would be here this morning. He was and still is restless. He says his hands are creeping and frozen. When he comments this, he is telling me his hands feel like they are moving and yet frozen in place at the same time.
The sleep I dreamed about getting two nights in a row didn’t happen. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all last night as he kept calling me in his room to repeat his fears.
This morning the caregiver came and she gave him a bath. I trimmed his moustache. She and I really doted on him but he just cried and cried. He was fearful of dying today. He has seen shadows in his room for a couple of days.
He hasn’t seen our parents or Jesus for some time. The shadows have replaced them I am thinking. He has me say a prayer for him each evening but this morning he asked me to pray for him. His request was for me to ask God to send Mom here.
I can’t pinpoint what the issue really is. Is he afraid of dying or is he afraid of dying alone. Other wise why would he have me ask God to send Mom here to help him go home. I have said about everything possible I can think of.
I have followed all leads that you have given me. I thought we had this whole thing licked when he was so calm and comfortable those 24 hours. I was just in there and I rubbed his arms. His veins are popped up as if he has been working on huge weights at the gym.
I am so hoping that as I am writing this he has drifted off to sleep as it is quiet through the monitor. He refuses to have any noise in his room and no light on at all. Pure silence is what he is requesting.
I know I am a repeater as of late, but I am coming to you once again to pray for that calm to return. I am asking you to say the same things I ask God for. To ease Al’s fear of dying and to let him go gracefully.
In my wildest nightmares that I have been having lately, I see Al screaming and crying as God is lifting him home. I don’t want this to be a reality. I am strong as you say, but I am no Super Woman.
So please stick with me friends, I am pleading for your help once again.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com, Daily Prompt, DP
Write about something you consider “ugly” — war, violence,
failure, hatred — but try to find beauty, or a sense of hope, in your
Photographers, artists, poets: show us UGLY.
It creeps up
On you slowly
To eerie thoughts
And creepy shadows
Allowing all of the
Out of their cage
Making you feel
They are speaking
Turns into dull
As day turns
But yet something
Changes, the cars
Train whistles silenced
Kids all in their beds
It is just me and myself
A time to come together
To go over what
The day has given
A time to pray
And a time to snack
Wrapped under my sheets
Just my TV and peace.
Dressed in dark clothing he walked towards one lighted post. Standing under it giving off a soft glow he waited. I peeked out my bedroom window to gaze at the stars. Dressed in my nightgown shivers rippled down my spine as I spotted the night walker.
My eyes fixated on him, drying out from lack of blinking I wondered if he could see me too. I pulled my collar closer around my neck and pulled my vanity chair closer to the window. As if I was sneaking around I sat down trying to be so motionless, less I catch his eyes looking in my direction.
The stranger paced back and forth. His stride taking in the specks of glass on the sidewalk reflecting from the light. He stopped and turned. Did he see me? He pulled his wide-brimmed hat down towards his chin. Maybe he was getting chilled as I was.
The game of mouse to see who would catch who first. He turned and looked. He was looking in my direction. Oh my God, has he seen me staring at him without permission? I froze in my seat. I breathed when forced. He quickly looked a way and I breathed slowly out.
He glanced up and down the streets and then moved a way from the light and out of my view. I leaned over to my vanity and took a cigarette out of the gold holder. My hands shook as I tried to light it. I inhaled deeply hoping that the drug would bring a peace over my trembling body.
I put the butt out in the ash tray and started to stand to pull the blinds shut when I caught a glimpse from the corner of my eye. My God, he is back. Cemented to my chair I didn’t move. My eyes couldn’t do anything but blink. Fluttering and causing my eyes to water. I squeezed them tight trying to wash a way the fear.
I saw two lovers holding hands on the opposite corner from him. He made no motion to approach them as they stopped to embrace each other. They continued their walk and I saw the black shadow take something out of his shirt pocket. A dim light proved to me that he was a smoker.
What is he doing? I can see him pulling something else out of his coat pocket. Is he going to try to hurt me? Is he angry because I have been spying into his private life? I lean down a little as to hide my body but unable to take my eyes a way from him. I know my shadow still reflects in his view.
I see him take the item and place it to his ear. He is talking on a cell phone. My God woman, you are losing your mind. You have let the shadows over take your mind. The eerie moon with the deformed shadows have spooked you. .
Just because he reminds you of the story long ago about the headless horseman doesn’t give you permission to flip out now. I watch him still unable to move. I see another form walking up the street.She is coming his way.
I suck in my breath waiting to see what he will do as the stranger comes closer. She approaches him on the same side of the street. Watch out lady. He is up to no good. Cross the street lady. Get on the other side. Better yet, turn the other way and run for your life.
She comes closer and he is standing still watching her every move. Closer she gets. My breathing has stopped. I watch my hands glued to the edge of my seat. She is there. She is standing in front of him.
The two bodies are facing each other. The moon gives off a bright glimmer that surrounds the two standing so close. She takes his hat off and drops it to the ground. He wraps his coat around her and her body disappears. In one motion he lifts her body so that her feet are surrounded by air. His coat drops to the ground and he twirls her around three times.
He stands her gently on hard ground and bends into her kissing her lips for what seems to be forever. The two become separate. She gives him his hat and he slips his coat on. They lock hands and the two start walking a way. He turns back as if he has forgotten something. He looks up at my window and waves and then the two continue their journey.
Softly, never hearing each others breathing or footsteps, they sneaked slowly up the front door of the old home. Each of the three boys moved every so silently to each window of the porch, looking in, looking for a movement, a shadow, something to tell them to turn around and run, but they saw nothing, and they came back together as a small group, and questioned each other as to whether they should venture further by going in.
It was Halloween night, and for weeks they had been planning this venture to go inside of this house, the deserted house, the one that all gossiped about being haunted. They let their parents think they were going trick or treating, but once out their front doors, they hid their costumes in the bushes, and went to meet each other at the front walk of the mysterious house.
Now they were there, with nowhere to run, but back to their homes, and none of them wanting to have to let the other know they were afraid or big cowards. As they stood at the front door, they decided to go to the back of the house. Shadows followed them as they made their way around to the back.
Tree branches scraping against the window panes, cats howling in the back ground, and glowing eyes coming from a raccoon that was making his way to his nest. The winds were gently blowing, and stiff, left over leaves could be heard scratching against each other.
It seemed like miles before they got to the back door. They stood there, no one wanting to make the first move, but the excitement of what was inside was killing them, and so the oldest shakily reached for the door handle of the big glass door. It turned, and opened, and all the boys jumped back. One of them was shaking so badly, I wondered if he had peed his pants, as I stood looking outside my bedroom window, watching to see what these young boys had in mind.
Then the boys giggled softly at each other, realizing they had let a door knob scare them so badly. They each nudged the other, not wanting to be the first to enter, and then without a prompt, something was forcing them to go forth, to come in, to see what mysteries laid behind the doors.
Once in, there was a chill that went through the boys, and they shivered as they pulled their jackets closer to them. Barely giving each other room to step, they bent down and with hands held out and only one small flashlight, they made their way to the next door.
The door squeaked as they entered, and they poked their heads in before letting the rest of their bodies come through. Shadows bounced off the walls, lining picture frames, and artificial flowers dangling from wall vases. Furniture was covered with white sheets, and there was a big, black piano sitting in one corner. The draperies were closed, and the boys wished that they had more flashlights, but as their eyes adjusted better, outlines became more clear.
They walked over to the piano, as none of the boys had one in their homes, and their curiosity begged them to slither that way. When they reached it, one of the boys sat down on the piano stool and in the quietness the piano began to play. Key after key slammed up and down, the boy was so scared he fell over backwards, and shuffling to his feet, he got up and they all raced to the back door where they had entered.
As they got to the back door, the door slammed on them, not letting them out, they raced as fast as they could to another room, and in their they located a winding stair case and they flew up the stairs, not waiting to see what was ahead or behind them. They did not care if they sounded like a herd of cattle as they raced up the thirty stairs.
Their breathing came in gasps, and they were bent over trying to slow the breathing down, when behind the curtains, came a hand that touched the back of one of the kids. He jumped and screamed. The others looked at him and all they could sense was fear. One of the boys stood frozen in his spot and he did urinate on himself. The other two boys grabbed his hands and forced him to move.
The oldest boy was heard crying and when the middle boy shined the flashlight on his face, he did see tears, and then they all looked at each other and said, let’s get out of here!!!! They turned to leave but saw a shadow sliding up the stair banister, so they looked to the left and then to the right, and saw a big wooden door, and they tried the knob and it opened the door. They raced inside of it and slammed the door, and tried to lock it but they did not have a skeleton key on them.
There was another door inside this room and they threw it open, finding a closet, so each of them went inside, softly shutting the door behind them. A shawl with whispery fringes on it, slowly made its way from the top shelf and landed on one of the boys shoulders. He started to cry and said, I am scared, I don’t want to be here anymore. Let’s get out of here, what should we do, I want to go home!
The other boys put their hands over the kids face to shut him up and told him to hush. He obeyed immediately and all breathing slowed down to almost a death breath, as each listened for any sounds in the room.
What seemed like hours, only being minutes, they heard nothing, so they very quietly opened the door a crack, and eyeballs peeked out, flashing right to left, to see if they could see anyone. They didn’t see anything and no sounds were being heard, so they all got on knees and crept their way to the door.
Once out of the door, they flew down the stairs as fast as their legs would carry them, and this time when they went to the door they had first entered, it opened. They wasted no time in exiting the house and leaving the property.
The house next door, that the spy was watching the boys from was laughing, and smoking his pipe. He walked away from his window view, sure that these boys would not be back again this year.
He had gotten wind that he may have some troubles this years with young whipper snappers, and as the caretaker of the property, he had made sure the house came to no harm.
He is behind the tree, that big one over on Clark Street, the one that has a zillion leaves flowing from each tiny branch, yes that is the one, you remember. He is standing underneath of it, hiding in the flowing shadows.
He is waiting for just one to walk by. The one who has no confidence, the one who walks this earth afraid to step forward. Have you seen him or her? Do you recognize the person that I am talking about? No, yes? Well he knows, he always knows.
His nose picks out the sense of fear, scared, weak, shy. Yes, he is waiting to pounce, to take what little you have left. Your entire life having fought to be the one that you were meant to be, but have not been able to have enough belief or strength in yourself to get to the point, that HE will not be hiding behind the shadows, ready to jump out at you, and scare you to death.
Did someone ever tell you that you were dumb, stupid, worthless, or unwanted? Did that one superior ever thump you on the head, knock you off of your feet, break a tooth out?
Did you ever sit in your bedroom on your bed, in the dark hours, and cry yourself to sleep, until morning finally broke through your windows, letting you know that this is a new day, that today you can have new hope?
Did you ever try your hardest to be picked, to be chosen, to have your name called in a school game out on the play ground, but no matter how you smiled, or begged, or kept still, your name was always called last? Did you ever wish that you belonged to that certain group, wore those clothes with the expensive name tag on the back, have those shoes with the familiar name on the side?
When we are children, we are innocent, and believe that everyone loves us, that we are precious to family, and when we go to school, we begin to see the differences between us and them? You begin to notice their style, their laughter, their popularity.
When you become a teenager, you have even more problems with fitting in. You discover that your friends have girlfriends or boyfriends, and you still have no one. The school dance comes around, and you have no one to ask.
It can be a rough life to live as an adult, and we carry with us many of the hurtful things that were said or done to us from our youth and childhood. Some of us have families or people who have spent time with us and have helped us get over the hump of youth to adulthood, and others have fallen by the tracks, seeming hard to stand, only able to still crawl.
We all need a helping hand, someone who loves us for who we are, not what we wear, not how many friends we have, or who we are married to. We need to know that each of us is worthy of obtaining anything in this world that we so desire.
Thank goodness there is God, a superior who loves us in spite of all of our sins. I know that there are a lot of people in the world who do not believe in God, and this is sad to me, but I can not live those lives, but I can pray for lost life, that the soul will turn one day to the warmth of God and reach up to the hands that are so patiently waiting for them.
Remember the big tree over on Clark Street, the many leaves that form dark shadows in the night? A place where evil and bad things are waiting for someone to come by, so that he can reach out and snatch that soul? His nose can sense all weakness in the world.
I am not trying to preach, and I am not trying to place fear in anyone. I just want to give food for thought here. I have been on that sidewalk, edging closer to where he is standing, but God reached out and grabbed me, and placed me on another side walk, closer to home, keeping me safe with his love. I am so thankful that I have been lifted by the hands of a power, much greater than even what I think I have. I am a common soul, nothing special, not rich, don’t live in a fancy home, don’t have name brand clothes, but I am blessed, truly blessed.