Get Me Out of the Washing Machine!

Let me out of the washing machine. I am being spun around and washed until there is no  dirt remaining. Can’t you see me in here? I am punching the safety glass, blowing more bubbles through my nose than even the soap has and yet no one rescues me.

Every day someone throws me in another dirty pile of crap. Expecting me to come clean, to know all the answers. Well listen here, I am just a plain Jane gal from the small midwest and I don’t know anymore than you do.

Take me out of the washer and place me in the dryer with some towels that will grow fluffy as they dry. I will bounce around falling gently on each soft piece of cotton. I will lay my head down and let the warmth of each slice of fabric wrap me gently up and cradle me through the timed cycle.

When the buzzer goes off, you have been warned that I am now in perfect, like-new condition once again. Hold me gently. Fold me evenly and lie me carefully on the shelf. Remember my color and please don’t grab for me first. Let me rest for a spell. Let me get my thoughts back together.

Then come for me. I promise I will be at my best. You can pick at my fiber and maybe I will not look you in the face with a dumb blank stare. Maybe I will be useful immediately when you probe me. Maybe I will be the best darn thing you have looked at all day.

july 4th skyThis was my morning friends. My brain isn’t even a wake yet and already the phone is ringing. People want answers. People ask about Al. How is his pain, does he need anything? This is great, I couldn’t ask for more. But, can you give me five seconds to wake up? Can you wait until I have had my first cup of coffee or maybe splashed some cold water on my half-closed eyes?

You have to remember that I don’t get as much sleep as I used to. Al has rough nights and sometimes isn’t asleep until wee hours in the morning.

As I had to do a complete bed change on Al’s bed this morning and also change my bedding, fix him breakfast, wash him up, get him dressed, shave, brush his teeth, pick out which car he was taking to Day Program for Show-n-tell, fix his lunch, make sure he had pop money, start the laundry, put new sheets on the beds, answer the phone, answer the cell, I was pooped. I had all this done by 8:30am.

As I left to meet with the Hospice nurse I saw an accident waiting to happen on my way to town. A very elderly man was riding a riding lawn mower. He was mowing close to the edge of a pond. He was also on a slant. He was so darn close to the edge I just had an eerie feeling that the pond would suck him in at any moment.

I actually stopped on the edge of the road and watched him a few minutes and then I prayed for his safety. I met the nurse and she asked me 20 questions. Hospice and two doctors are considering taking more of Al’s medications a way. Letting him ride out his journey in more comfort instead of continuous side-effects.

This is something that I am totally mixed up about. If you take a way his medications what will happen? Will his heart stop? Will his blood pressure soar? Will he be more comfortable? I don’t know the answers, please don’t ask me my thoughts. This is my baby brother and I have been the one all along dragging me feet in the sand.

Don’t put this pressure on me. Ask someone else who isn’t close to him. I am not a coward. I just don’t want to be the one responsible if Al dies earlier than he should. How could I live with that?

I left the meeting and went to the car wash and washed the car. It was so full of bird poo that I am surprised the paint was not starting to chip a way. I stopped at my favorite little shop that sells used consignments and bought Al some Coca Cola post cards, a coca cola battery operated radio, and some coca cola coaster. I can’t wait to give them to him when he comes home.

I collect a few things. One of them being shakers. The old-time giant salt shakers? Yes, those. I found a really old one. The lid was tin and pretty thin, and the shaker was worn itself but the word salt was still clear and the shaker is in that old yellow color. It was a good buy so I got that to add to my shelf.

That was relaxing. Although I was thinking of Al while shopping, wondering if I could find him something, I wasn’t answering questions. I was alone and it was nice.

I stopped at the grocery store and got Al more prune juice and pop. I never want to be without either one of these. My sugar dropped too low while I was in the store so the deli gave me a chicken strip and a little cup of apple salad.

I stood there eating it kicking that stupid Diabetes right in the butt. I hate being a diabetic, I really do. When I am not hungry of I am busy I don’t want to take the time out to eat. But when my legs became jello and black shadows were forming around my eyeballs, I knew I was in trouble.

Thanks to the store I made it safely on my way and now am home. Thank goodness, I have an hour and a half before Al comes home.

Reader Appreciation Award


You want to know more about Sara? Well here ia good picture  in her own words

Me, in 10 sentences.

Scatty – I’m always losing something or other.

Loyal – give me a reason to like you and you’ve got a friend forever.

Honest – I can’t abide dishonesty, it’s a pet hate of mine.

Dizzy – I actually mean dizzy, I suffer from Vertigo and Meniere’s Disease.

Hopeful – well aren’t we all.

ThinkerI think therefore I am… who truly knows what Rene Descartes was thinking when he wrote it, I’ll leave that to the professionals.

Crazy – some might say I’m a rabbit hole short of a warren, a sandwich short of a picnic… you get the idea, but hey, it works for me.

Hermit – I’ve been trying this out for a couple of years, albeit on a part-time basis.

Believer – in all things paranormal, that there’s more to life than pain and suffering, that one day I will achieve something worthwhile.

Lover – of tea, my family, my cat, the written word, sunrises and sunsets, imagination.

The Reader Appreciation Award Rules:

1. Link back to the person who nominated you

2. Attach the icon to your site.

3. Answer the attached questions.

4. Nominate 6 bloggers who you feel deserve this award.

1. What is your favorite color? It depends what day it is. Sometimes I love bright yellow. Other days I enjoy pastels. I guess it depends on my moods.

2. What is your favorite animal? Well years a go I enjoyed hamsters. I had three of them along with three children who took care of them. Then I went to fish tanks. I still love fish tanks but only if they are over ten gallon. Now a days, I think about dogs, but the dog has to be mature, want to be loved, doesn’t potty in the house, and doesn’t yap all the time. Guess I still don’t have one. Am I too picky? LOL

3. What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Well you may not realize this but I don’t touch alcohol. Two reasons, A. I am a diabetic. It would be pretty stupid of me to drink when the drink is loaded with sugars. B. I already make dumb mistakes in my life. Why would I want to subject myself to more? Favorite non-alcoholic drink? In the summertime, I love Crystal Light Lemonade and Lipton Diet Peach Tea. In the summer, I like the cinnamon apple tea or my usual, coffee with cream.

4. What is your favorite number? it has always been 3, 7 and 21. Don’t ask me why, I really don’t know. They just rub me the right way.

5. What is your favorite day of the week? Sunday, it is always this day. No bills to pay. No doctor appointments. It used to be family day after church. It used to be put my Sunday clothes on.

6. What is your favorite flower? The Lily. Strong yet delicate, smells wonderful. Feminine and romantic. It was odd in a nice way that at my mother’s funeral, lilies were the number one choice. Although the music was dreary, the scenery was bright.

7. What is your passion? I didn’t used to know this answer, but through writing I know know. Writing and people. When I write I hope to reach out. I hope to connect. People are amazing. We all want the same things in life but we all go about it in different ways. We want acceptance, love and security. It is sad that the biggest thing a lot of us want is lacking, love. I believe because the true love, not sexual, but true love is being sought out in so many areas that really don’t connect in the end.

8. Do you watch television? It is very  hard for me to sit and actually watch a program. It started years a go when I used to have panic attacks. I do have the television but it is for background. I sleep to it, it is my friend, but yet I can not connect to it. Television may have some fantastic shows for others, but for me, there is too much killing, bad guy shows, or just plain stupidity. I often wonder what they guys are like that are sitting in the back room creating now sitcom ideas. I actually think I could find a better plot myself, but who am I?

9. Who is your favorite author?  I was going to fib and say this name or that, but the truth is, I don’t have a favorite author. My favorite book is Black Like Me. Ever read it? You should if you are interested in how people react to each other under unusual circumstances. For example, would you like me better or worse if you knew that I was rich or poor?

10. Do you like 80′s movies? Yes, The Breakfast Club and Dirty Dancing. I am sure there are more but what do you expect out of me when I have been up for twenty minutes? LOL

11. How do you like your eggs? Easy answer. Light and fluffy scrambled. My daughter makes the best eggs ever. I miss her making them for me. Next douse with ketcup.

12. When did you discover blogging? In early March of 2012. God nudged me to write and so March 7, I began by writing my first blog

13. Why do you like to blog? Believe it or not it wasn’t to be discovered. I actually am still surprised at the beautiful bloggers that let me know how much I helped them, or one even told me I helped change their mind from committing suicide. It is healing to my own soul. It has helped me see the light about my own life and the people in it. It has given me confidence. I am proud to tell others that I am a writer. Now if I could just make a penny from it. LOL

Nominations today are;

Kellie Elmore



Missus Tribble



Thank-you once again for this Sarah.


I Did It!!!!!!

I got my four hours today! I left after showing the caregiver what to fix Al for his lunch and showing the medications he would need. My stomach ached and my eyes watered as I left the front door. I felt all over again, I was dropping my first child off at her first day of school. I cried like a big old baby.

Even while driving, my gut still hurt, and I wondered if I was going to be alright. I almost turned around and came home. I had my cell phone in my shorts pocket, so I could pick it up as soon as it rang, and I knew it would, as Al could not do alright without me there, but it never rang, and I did get over my gut ache.

I went first to the goodwill store, and found me a warm house coat for fall and winter. A pretty blue and zip up front, floor length. I bought some tiny gold bells and I am searching for other miscellaneous items, as I am going to be making a decoration for Halloween and Christmas out of two chicken coop windows. I will show the finished product when I get er done! lol

Then I went to my favorite store, Carson’s, and went clearance shopping. I did find a Yankee candle marked down to twelve dollars plus another twenty percent off of that. I am a Yankee candle freak! Lilac bloom was the scent, which I love! I also bought a plaid pair of sketcher slip on shoes. Blue plaid which had been fifty-nine dollars, and I got them for twenty dollars on clearance.

Then I was checking the clock, because once I rid myself of  home fears, I was into clearance shopping and my time was running out. I stopped at a gas station, and grabbed an eat and go sandwich, and took off to a second-hand store, to look for more decorations for my window panes, but didn’t see anything cheap. Sure wish we had a craft shop here in town. I did purchase an old baby dress. Remember when they were white cotton with lots of eyelets on them and scalloped edges? Very simple. A white cotton slip underneath, with tiny little buttons on the shoulders, and the dress itself has three tiny white buttons in the back. I have it hanging on a hanger in my bathroom along with my Victorian shoulder shawl and matching hat, and a vintage glitter clutch bag with matching shoes. My bathroom looks vintage for sure!

Well, it was fun, and when I walked in my front door, the caregiver said that Al talked her legs off about all his coca cola and showed her each piece. She said he was lying down, but when he heard me come home, he came back out to the living room to see what I had purchased. I showed him a white bear with the coca cola symbol on it, that I had bought for him. He smiled at me, he smiled!!!! at me!!!! He seemed like he was glad I was home, and he told me he was glad I had a good time, then he went in and took his nap.

All in all, it was refreshing for both of us, and I am anxious to go again next Tuesday. Al smiled, and I did it!

Second-hand shop