When Al, my brother passed away three weeks ago, I never had a doubt from the moment I sat in the funeral that somehow I was going to make a difference. I knew that I wanted, no I needed to help others.
I have always been the one who loves to reach out to others, but now I knew I was on a mission. I never want anyone, friend or stranger to ever have to go through what I did. I learned by taking care of him mainly alone, I was stronger than I gave myself credit for.
God walked me through that seven-year journey. He wiped my tears. His hands were my pillow. The days are still very tough for me. When I am home alone, the tears fall easy. The house echos with my own thoughts.
With the help of Peggy, Sue, and other friends they are encouraging me to get out of the house when I can. Learning to smile again is like a toddler taking steps. I am stepping out in darkness but I am slowly seeing the light.
When I speak of Al my heart burst. Not only from tears but with an anxious energy. Like a horse jumping at the bit, waiting for the rider to say go. I prayed, and I still pray daily to be of use to someone.
There is someone out in the big world that needs me. I want to be there for comfort and help. I want all to know they are worth caring about.
Well God has been guiding me ever so gently and I had two things God gifted me this week. The first one is I am working again. I am helping others in their home. It is part-time, but this is alright.
I am working on Al’s book. I have several chapters written that tell the story of his life and now I am beginning to fill up the empty pages with the story of MSA, so I need that extra time.
The second gift was a phone call I received last evening. I had a lady message me on my Facebook page asking for my phone number. She stated she wanted to talk to me about Multiple System Atrophy.
Last night she called. I believe we chatted about half an hour. She asked questions and I did my best to answer her. I don’t know too much yet, but I did learn that she works for a Hospice in another state near by.
She invited me to be a speaker to the staff, teaching them what I have learned about MSA. I don’t know how soon, or exactly how it will be handled, but I felt wonderful. A chance to let Al live on through the lives of others.
I looked up at the heavens and thanked God immediately after telling her I would love to help in any way I can. God did this for me. He isn’t done with me yet. I have much to share. God is opening doors so that I may be his tool for this terrible illness.