Beat It Buster!
Beat It Buster!
My fangs are out
They are ready to bite
I won’t give up
Without a fight
I get so tired
Of you not caring at all
I hope for your sake
You never fall
Into the situation
I am in
Then you will
See the sin you’re in
My belief is when you
Care not at all
You too shall one
Day also fall
To your knees
Finding my face
Sending out apologies
To all you’ve erased.
To dream to be able to heal
To wipe the tears and sorrows
And bring hope to the world
For a better tomorrow.
To take a way all sickness
To take frowns and turn them to smiles
To walk this earth barefoot and naked
To be accepted for us just for a while.
For wherever we roam
Through what ever door we walk through
We can walk in with our heads held high
You will greet me and I will talk to you.
For each of us to have our individuality
To be able to say as we feel
Would be such an honor
And our mask we would peel.
We are here to love and be loved
To heal broken hearts and minds
To walk together step in step
Our lives becoming entwined.
This is my wish for the world for today
My friends and visitors who pass my way
To put fighting and blasphemy aside for a while
As we walk together mile after mile.
God has a way of
Helping heal the moment
I found this out tonight
As I revisited my past
Without wanting to
Dreading the familiar
Scenery the bumps
In the road and the hills
As I crept closer to my destination
My heart began to fall through
My chest I swear I could
Feel it deep in my legs
I had not ventured the
All too familiar area
For a few years
The thoughts of my daddy
And how I miss him still
Brought tears to my eyes
And as I walked in the front
Door of this stranger tonight
My feelings were clear for
All to see and feel
I swallowed hard
Knowing the topic was not my dad
But rather on this stranger in front of me
But in my thoughts I was crying out
Oh daddy why did you have to
Go and leave me this way all alone
My life has never been the same
As my heart is still broken
People place band aids over my heart
But I swear they fall off eventually
Exposing my pain so that I feel
As much as the day I laid you to rest
Then I came home and got on my computer
And discovered to my surprise that
People had thought of me they had
Awarded me for touching their own hearts
And I look at your picture daddy
And I thank you for making me who
I am today that I can feel what you felt
That I can be open and honest and
Say it hurts, it really hurts
I miss you so much I will never
Be the same but I am proud
Of what you have molded me to be today.
I see people everywhere I am
Some ignore and some say hi
Others smile as they go by.
I have lived here all my life
Except a few years where I tried to do
Something in my life that was all brand new.
I feel like at my age, I should know
At least a few I pass along my way
But no, I do not see anyone on this day.
Where have all the people gone
Who used to be in my life
Married a husband, or maybe a wife.
Now, as I get older, I search
The obits to look and maybe see
Recognition of a name that used to be.
Where has all the time gone
Am I really as old as they say
In my mind, it says I am getting younger every day.
Today was the third day of the roof. It is my fault and yet not my fault for this taking so long. I am putting a new roof on my home, and my son is doing the job. My fault is in I didn’t get all the supplies together first, then stay here and have the roof done. The part that is not my fault, is I don’t know what supplies and tools are needed.
It all started Tuesday, my son came here around noon. Part of the day was spent on what would be needed, and the another part was spent on getting tools and supplies. The roof was actually started late Tuesday afternoon, with the old shingles being taken off. During the day no decisions were made as to what to do with the old shingles and tar papers, so the yard was one solid black paper shingle mess. Of course there were breaks taken for restroom, meal and rest breaks. A start had been begun, but plenty of work left to be done.
There was a deadline, not my deadline, but my sons. He has a weekend trip he wants to go to, and he told me the roof was a two-day job, and he was leaving Friday, so I counted, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. This is three days if I can still add at my old age.
Wednesday comes along, and there are vents to be bought and we have to get a nail gun, so back to Menards we go for one more trip. This once again gives workers a later than planned start. My son had his lady friend get up on the roof and help him. I watched over the grandson, who just turned three and watched over Al. They worked very hard, but it is a much bigger job and more detailed than I ever imagined. The edgings, getting all of the nails, and staples out of the old roof, taking vents out. They made good progress when you looked at the front of the house, but if you went out back and looked you saw no changes.
So Wednesday evening all are pooped out. No one was interested in picking up shingles from the ground, and I knew that my back could not take the constant bending over to help also. I had been on my feet all day getting this or that for others and cooking and trying to keep the ship sailing smoothly. When you are standing on a hot roof, it tends to make you a little bit more short-tempered, and these kinds of little things stress me out very quickly. I don’t like arguing, I never did, but now that I don’t have a partner in my life, I only have to listen to Al.
The shingles had to be picked up, and no one was moving. I always have been a type of person that if something needs to be done, I will figure out a way to get it done come hell or high waters. I went to a neighbor’s house and asked if I could hire them to help pick up, and they said yes. I also stopped a pick-up truck going down my road, and asked them the same question. They also agreed. I had to pay, but it was worth it to me. If I am going to continue to make messes, then as I finish each part of the project, I clean behind me. It saves me a lot of time and hard work. These two people were much more refreshed then my family and in no time they had the yard back to normal. The roof was not even half done though.
Today, Thursday, bright and early my family comes back. No one had to go get any supplies. The two of them started putting the edges on, which I also learned a lot from this part, that it is very time-consuming. My son made a comment and whether he intended for me to hear or not, I did, and he had said he was leaving in the morning, and if the roof was not done, then so be it.
Now this didn’t roll with me at all. We are on the third day of a two-day job, and I knew in my heart the job would not be finished today. My son is a perfectionist when he works and I so appreciate this, but let’s face it, there are many time-consuming jobs to do when it comes to roofing.
I felt so bad for the girlfriend. I knew that no one could pay me to get on a ladder, so I was of no use, and I knew with the heat and the sun, and the frame of a woman’s body, we can not lift those heavy bundles of shingles. Here I was, once again, playing Mighty Mouse. One man and one woman on the roof, with over three-fourths left to go and they were leaving in the morning. Great.
I didn’t know anyone to ask if they were available to help. I don’t know people here any longer and the ones I do know are older than me.
Sometimes I ask God for strange requests, and this was one of those times. I sat there on my outdoor swing asking God for help. Nothing came into my mind, and then I saw a red mo-ped go by. Bingo, there was the idea, God had planted. I took the grandson and we went for a walk. The next time the mo-ped came my, I raised my hand like I was a school patrol. I bet I looked funny. Stop!!! In the name of the law!!, and he did. I walked up to this complete stranger and asked him, would you happen to know anyone in our neighborhood that wants to earn some money by helping my son shingle the roof? He told me he would go home and ask his uncle. Within ten to fifteen minutes the guy came back with his uncle, and after brief introductions were made, the job was moving along faster. Now we had three men and a lady. Doesn’t this sound like a movie I watched once? Or was that three men and a baby? Well, I don’t remember, but this is who was on top of the roof.
Now here is where I put my nose in too far. I am thinking of my son who wants to leave in the morning, and can’t work fast enough to finish the job. I am also thinking of myself, sitting until Monday to get the roof started once again. You never know, or at least I don’t, what humidity can bring to an open roof with only tar paper on it, but my imagination was doing all sorts of thinking on what could happen. I wanted my son to not rush too fast and fall from the roof, or his lady friend, and I also knew as the day progressed it was getting hotter, so I wanted to save everyone. This seems to be what I do in life, be a life saver.
What I didn’t take into consideration is the fact that all three of these men did not know each other, and all three had their own opinions. They did not get along real well, each one wanting to do it their way, and finally, my son climbs down the ladder and takes a too long of a rest. I felt awkward inside, as I knew these other men were there to help my son, not do the job alone. I tried talking to my son, but it didn’t help. The other two men worked until four thirty and then they all left, so they were there five hours.
Now the roof is ninety-five percent done on one half. The other half has all the edgings done so it just needs to be shingled, the easiest part. After the two men left, my son and his girlfriend got back up on the roof and did two more bundles.
When they came down, I had chicken in the crock pot, and I made some home-made macaroni and cheese and fixed green beans. They came in and we all ate. Al would not eat the chicken, too difficult for him. After dinner, I paid them and they left. I cleaned the kitchen back up, and am sitting here drinking my coffee and blogging to you.
In my mind I am thinking, the new two guys will be here at eight am tomorrow morning, my son and his girlfriend will be on their way to their weekend trip, so it is Al, me and two half strangers. According to my son, since just shingling is left on one half, they will probably have it all done in less than five hours.
I am hoping so. This turned out to be a much bigger job than I thought, but God is bringing me through it. Just one more half-day, then the weekend belongs to Al and me.