Tag Archives: SUPPORT

When Are We Not Responsible?

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Diseased Door

Diseased Door

I was told of a story recently and even after a few days of digesting it I am still bothered. Have you or I ever had life go entirely as we want and it to? Have either of us ever had things pop up that are hard to handle or even more can’t fix? I know I have.

As kids we are born innocent in this world. We are nurtured  as well as our parents know how. We become adults and have children of our own. The cycle of life repeats itself until you are filled with great-grandparents down to great-grandchildren.

What if a bump comes in the road and we don’t see it? We fall in and can’t get back out without help. Do we as family and friends turn our backs on that person? Or do we try to help them climb back out?

I am not talking about Al today. I am talking about an adult who had a great life. Makes mistakes as we all do but then is hit with an unexpected medical problem. Not all medical problems are cut and dry like the flu or maybe tonsillitis.

Some illnesses that stop by to take over are heart attacks and strokes or maybe even cancer. These types of illnesses can do more damage than the naked eye can see. It can change moods, brain waves, vision, hearing, muscle tone, weakness, and pain within the body.

So many changes that the ill person can  no longer control. What do we do now? How long do we stay around and help? Don’t we have a life of our own to live? Didn’t we go visit and pay our respects long enough?

These are questions that have been asked by some as people realize that family members are going to be stuck with these side-effects for months or maybe years to come.

When is my duty over? When can I go on with my own life? Just because an illness or stroke has taken over should we now leave them behind to suffer through until death comes knocking at their door?

I hope that my own answer is always no, never give up. Keep showing your love and keep being an inspiration to the one suffering. I heard of a human being that has suffered in this way. The illness is never going to be better. The strength is never going to be gained back.

Sometimes when we are sitting on the other side of the fence able to walk and run and play we can’t put ourselves in the shoes of the wheelchair patient. It is hard to imagine us ever being stuck in place.

But it happens, and this is sad. There are no guarantees in life for sure. This man’s family has been there but maybe could have squeezed in more time. Patience has run out, and the younger generations are tired and restless and ready to move on.

I completely understand this but what about the fact that they are relation? Does this not matter that only years earlier this patient was there for you in his good times? Is it alright to wipe him from your mind so that you can have a better time in life?

Are we entitled to move on and say the hell with him or her. I did my best. I spent time. I tried. Now this person is in danger of being left on his own, while others chase opportunities.

Oh I am not sure why I even bothered writing this. I can’t seem to get out the exact thoughts I want to be seen. All I know is that it is hurting me inside to realize that big changes are coming possibly, and the one that is going to be hurt is the patient. While the road seems greener on the other side of the fence, I still believe that blood is thicker than water. I would not rest well at nights until I knew that this human being was resting too, somewhere safe, somewhere out of danger.

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Daily Prompt; Un/Faithful/ The Daily Post

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English: A photograph of the skateboarding tri...

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Tell us about the role that faith plays in your life — or doesn’t.

Faith is a small word that carries huge weight. For some of us, there may  be little if any faith. For others, including myself, faith is something we can not live without. I was brought up in a church setting. I went to church and Sunday school each week. I was part of the junior choir, being the director, and then a part of the adult choir.

I used to have a pretty good voice until I picked up the nasty habit of smoking. It lowered my voice and I have not been able to quit as of yet, but could kick myself in the rear with my own dirty boot for starting.

I fell a way from the church on a surface level. Friends I had did not go to church, and I was not going to ruin that crappy friendship by showing my true colors. Talk about being a hypocrite. Not only was I lying to myself, I was being dishonest with God and the so-called friends I had as a teen.

I slid by my skin through several years. Rebelling God, and life. Wanting and needing something, but what I really needed was staring me in the face, but I broke every mirror so I would not have to see it.

After marrying, I became a military wife in a new country. Church was practiced once a month with a different denomination each time. Whatever I had done prior to this new life, had been laid by the way side. After all, how could I fit God in my life, or even have faith when I had everything I could possibly want in a new marriage. Right? Wrong.

I hate to admit it to myself, but it is even worse to admit it to all of you, but I thought I knew it all. Not so much about worldly things, but enough to carry myself through life. I could cook, clean house, and wipe runny noses and change diapers. What else was there?

Time ticked, hours flew, and I was still skating on thin ice. Then one day I got a rude awakening. Life was also moving quickly along with mine. My mother passed away. Talk about a mind-blowing wake-up call.

Although my faith and God were never under the Hypo-dermis of  skin, I didn’t work very hard to keep it on the Epidermis either. When mom passed away, I quickly came back. I rededicated my life. I promised to listen to God more. I made all kinds of promises.

Guess what? I fell on my butt. The ice was not very thick on the pond and down I went. I became cocky and bitter. Losing my mom brought a roughness around my heart. I became thick-skinned. Now that I look back I was protecting myself. I hurt bad, my heart had a void. No one was going to hurt me like that again.

Luckily for me, because we all know that we are the ones who turn our back on God. He doesn’t sway from us. I never got in any trouble with the law. I never took up drinking or drugs. I just walked around empty, letting love, faith and hope fall from my pockets. I would see them falling and then turn around and stomp on them making sure they were buried deep beneath the dirt.

God is amazing though. I stomped and he revived. He was always my shadow. He followed me everywhere I went. The only thing I needed to do was to acknowledge him. Is that all there is to it? Just let God know we are here? Can carrying faith in him be that darn easy? What do I have to give up in order to have this word called faith? Nothing. I could have had an easier path in life. I was the one who chose the bumpy path.

When my dad got ill, and I watched him slip from me for that year, I got on my knees and begged God to keep my daddy here. I prayed heavily, don’t take him, heal him. I cried, I threw temper tantrums. What I didn’t know was that without me realizing it, I was turning back to God. Sure I was calling out from  pain for my daddy’s sake, but God lifted me up and kept me safe as I walked the valley of death path with my father.

He died, and I let God lift me higher on his lap. I laid my head on his shoulder and I wept. I could feel him patting me on my back and I could feel his arms holding me tightly, comforting me.

I have never let go since. It has been six years. I have lost both of my parents, and lost all familiarity of the life I had always known. Grandparents, uncles and aunts passed on. I was left standing here. I was in the tiny circle looking out in all directions. The only familiar face I ever truly saw was God.

I love God. He is my best friend, my joy, my comforter. He guides me each moment of the day and he forgives me for all of my mistakes. I was standing down in the valley for so long. I would be as a skate boarder. Up and down gliding back and forth. Coming so close to the edge of living, and then back down I would go. I saw God stretching  his hand to me. I grabbed on and I have never let go Faith, God, life and love, and hope are what I will be carrying until I go home to heaven.

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Continuing Story Part 28

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No one had anything to be said. All was said through tears and emotions pouring out from

A pink Dahlia

A pink Dahlia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

the inner souls. They all sat for a few moments, then one by one, each stood up and hugged each other and left the funeral home doors.

Ralph placed his arm around Rachel and Dahlia, and led them to the car and opening the doors, and letting them sit, he then went around to his side and got in and they started for home. Breathing could barely be heard and silence filled the inner space of the car. Within moments, it seemed, they arrived at the boarding house. All walked through the front door and went to their own rooms, each consumed in their own private thoughts.

Dahlia laid on her bed and relived the whole process of the funeral. Finding out that her mother and father had loved her after all these years was almost too much to digest in one day. She had placed the envelope under her pillow and soon found herself dreaming of her past life.

In the kitchen, there was glum. This home had turned from a happy laughter filled house to a stale quietness. The news of Drew and his cancer had spread quickly and the funeral added more doom. No one wanted to fix supper, in fact everyone just wanted to let this day pass, and not look back on it.

They each filtered away from the kitchen, no supper made, the table left untouched. Each went to the living room or went out to the porch to sit. The house became so silent, that it woke Ralph up from his nap. He walked out to the porch, and he saw instantly the sad faces. He had to change what was happening here and so he suggested they gather enough food and they all drive to the park a couple of miles away.

This perked up most faces as they also wanted to change the mood of this house. Everyone got up and pitched in. Blankets were placed in the car, jugs were filled with drinks, baskets were filled with foods, and soon everyone was in the car, and Ralph began to sing. He sang songs of inspiration and hope for the future. Soon one by one they joined in the chorus,and frowns were turned into smiles, and sad memories were replaced with the present.

They reached the park, and found a nice place to put the blankets. Food and drinks, plates were all taken out. Everyone joined hands and said a prayer of hope and they clung to each other for support and asked God to be with them in the coming months. They then ate, the conversation being nothing of value, talk about school, and dreams of the end of school coming up and plans that were being made for the wedding.

When they were all done, they cleaned up and some went to the swings, others were throwing frisbees. Laughter emerged and for today, they enjoyed just being in the open air, and being with each others company.

The sun was starting to set, so they gathered everything together and climbed back into the car, and headed home. Most went inside, but Drew, Rachel and Drake sat on the porch. Nothing was said for a time, but then Drake asked Drew how he was feeling and Drew said not bad, but he still had his headache that came and went. Drake continued with he had not had a chance to really speak to Drew about the news that he had received, but he wanted him to know that he had forgiven him, and that he was here for him if Drew needed him. Drew began to weep, hearing these words of forgiveness. He had been carrying this guilt of what he had done for so long and he needed Drake to know that he did not mean for this to happen.

Drake and Dahlia reached for each others hands and held them with Drake asking Drew if he would do the honor of being his best man at their wedding. Drew shook his head no, that he could not be a part of something so sacred, knowing what troubles he had created for the two of them, but Drake went to him and sat down and told him that God was the one healing all that happened, that he wanted and needed his brother to be standing there beside him. Drew looked up into Dahlia’s eyes and saw her smiling and she nodded her head in agreement of Drake. The two of them wanted him there, and Drew asked are you sure, are you certain that this episode can be overlooked, that it will not spoil the goodness of the wedding, and Drake said no, that what would spoil it, was if he said no, he would not be there for him, and then he sobbed again, but softly speaking that yes, he would stand up for him. All three of them stood in a circle and hugged each other, tears being shed for the miracle that God was able to create between the three, and with this, they left the porch and went inside for the evening.

The next morning at church, the service having ended, the minister announced that there was a special meeting, and he would appreciate everyone staying over, and that in the kitchen of the church, refreshments were being set up so that no one went home without eating.

No one was prepared or had heard of this special meeting, so out of curiosity and a follower of the minister, everyone sat back down in their seats. The minister went on to explain that someone had phoned him last evening and had asked if they could come to see him on short notice. The visitor then announced the sad news of Drew’s illness, and that he wanted all today to stand together and hold hands and  pray for Drew, that they place this illness in God’s hands, for God to heal this illness in the way he saw fit.

Eyes turned and looked at Drew, and instantly everyone was on their feet. The minister went to Drew and brought him to the center of the circle, and he and two deacons, laid their hands on Drew, and together the church prayed. After the minister finished, several of the worshipers said specific prayers for Drew and his family, then several moments passed in silence, as this news was sinking into their heads and hearts. When the time was over, almost all of them went to the kitchen, where sandwiches, and chips, and home-made cookies could be found. Juice and coffee were the drink of choice.

They all filled their plates and gathered around the tables with the minister saying grace for this food and then they began to eat and thoughts were voiced to Ralph and Rachel, that if they needed any help or support that they were all there for him.

Drew thought to himself how much easier going through this illness was going to be, now that Drake had forgiven him, and Dahlia also, that the church was supportive. It made the headaches tolerable, and lifted his heart, as he knew he was still loved.

Reality At My Door

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My Circle of Friends

Not all of us, but plenty of us, including myself, never truly appreciate our very own unique lives that our creator has given to us, until we are almost on death’s row. How can we move through out each day, giving our best, drawing from the naturals of life, and yet not truly understand how precious a gift life is.

As I said above, I am so guilty of this myself, and I wonder at how I can drift through each day, observing the days turning into weeks then month and finally years. What is it in each of us, that we hate, but we constantly place it on the back part of our mind, shoving it so far back, that we can go for long periods of living without thinking twice about the real issue.

For me, smoking and my weight are my personal triggers. I know it is unhealthy, but do I really understand how unhealthy it is. Is some of our ideas brought on from our society, or do we know for a fact, that all that we hear and see is true. Is it not true, that we are all created uniquely? We have different bone formations, different genes, our bodies are not all slim in structure. Can this play a role in whether we are healthy or not, or is it a game from within our brains that we must conform to what society believes.

My weight, has been on my mind for the past month or so. Now let me state, that although, I shove my weight in the back part of my mind, the front part remembers it socially. When I see the new swimsuit line come out, or the cute little winter dresses for the holidays, there is a part of me, that kicks myself, because I have too much weight on me to be able to feel comfortable and to look my best in an outfit like that.

I could have done something about this, but I didn’t. Now in less than a month away, I am meeting a blogging friend for the first time, and I am not so much nervous, I will save that for the day this person arrives, but I am kicking myself for not taking my looks more seriously.

I have allowed my environment to get the best of me. I stay in the house 80% of the time. I have fooled myself with explanations of who cares, who is going to see me, I have no one to impress, but I have realized, for me, these are excuses. Don’t I want my own body to be a place that is the best it can be for Jesus to want to live in? Don’t I want my body to be the best it can be for those unexpected times of meeting that new friend, or how about running accidentally into a gorgeous looking man at the store? Would I really want him to see me with rollers in my hair and wearing those cute sleeper pants, that can pass for public wear, no one realizing that I slept in them last night? Or would I rather take the five minutes to get dressed, wear that bra, put a dash of blush and mascara, and at least run a brush and comb through my hair?

Why does it take a near death episode of a family member, or a close friend, or maybe a co-worker, to snap us into reality. You know what I mean. You or I or someone you know, loses a parent to lung cancer, and all of a sudden, no matter how hard it is, we throw that partial pack of cigarettes away in the trash. We were snapped into reality, quicker than you can say blink! We realize at that precise moment, that we all live on borrowed time. It is not ours to choose our ending date, but Gods.

I am so guilty of not laying down the rotten, addicting smokes. I am the first to say that I am highly addicted. If I accidentally leave them at home, my heart starts racing, I can feel the beat coming through my clothes. I will sometimes race back home to retrieve them, or maybe I will just stop at a gas station and grab a pack. I must have them with me, I may need them.

It sounds so utterly ridiculous, but this is my addiction. The same goes for my weight. I know it is hard on my heart to pump harder. Hearts are only made to work properly for so many years, before it begins to show signs of wear and tear.  I know the statistics are that over weight and smoking can and may cause early deaths, so why do I choose to ignore it.

Why does it take a near death to make me change my ways. Are any of you with me here on this topic? You may be able to replace the words weight and smoking with your own personal struggles. This may be a better way to relate better. Ask yourself why you put off what you do.

What can we do to change this pattern that we have let ourselves slip into. Can God help us to better our vision? Must we wait until we see death at our neighbor’s door? Let any of you join me in prayer, praying for God’s blessings and asking him to help us to realize that we belong to him and him alone. That we want our temple to become the best home it can be for Jesus to live in. Let us come together as a group of people, acknowledging our own faults, and knowing we are humans, and that with the help and guidance from God and each other, we can learn to conquer what we have hidden in the back of our minds. We can not make miracles happen over night, but we can take the back burner where simmer is on, and turn it off, bringing it to the front burner, and force ourselves to bring it into reality of now. With our own faith, and desires, and the help of each other and God, we can at least make a start to even better lives. We can show God in this way how much we truly love and respect him, and we can set examples for our youth so that they do not follow in the same patterns.

I wish I was smarter, because if I was, I would create some type of web page, that all can come to for support. To be able to talk without fear of ridicule, to open our hearts sharing our frustrations, to be able to bond with another human that is suffering in the same way. Together, we could make a change, a difference, a start.