Is Al Talking to Me or Someone I Can’t See


Is Al Talking to Me or Someone I Can’t See

Well my girlfriend is gone. We ran to Wal-Mart to try to find a stethoscope because I thought mine was broken. They didn’t have one and when we returned home my friend had a call waiting that told her that her granddaughter was getting ready to have her baby, so she headed home so she could be a part of this magnificent miracle.

The Hospice nurse came and she discovered there was an issue with my…

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Is Al Talking to Me or Someone I Can’t See


Well my girlfriend is gone. We ran to Wal-Mart to try to find a stethoscope because I thought mine was broken. They didn’t have one and when we returned home my friend had a call waiting that told her that her granddaughter was getting ready to have her baby, so she headed home so she could be a part of this magnificent miracle.

The Hospice nurse came and she discovered there was an issue with my stethoscope and she fixed it. I was relieved. Al is still moaning and groaning. He sometimes doesn’t act like  he is aware that we are there.

He has asked me to take him to get tires for his car. He has pleaded to just get out of his bed and go somewhere. He has slept about 10% the entire weekend. Today after the lunch hour he has been asleep for 15 minutes.

It sounds like his is chanting. I am not sure whether he is talking to me or maybe someone he sees that we don’t. The nurse said with his not eating and drinking he will not be here too much longer.

I wish I could calm his moans. I can’t help it friends. It does tend to get to you after a while of hearing it. He did ask for ice-cream this morning but ate three bites and that was it. His urine has turned from an amber color to some sort of weird yellow I had never seen.

I would give my right arm to take a way all he is going through, but I can’t. I am going to go lay down since I have a caregiver until four today. I just wanted to touch base. I will try to write again later today.indiana saying

Saturday Filled to the Brim, But Not Coffee


Saturday Filled to the Brim, But Not Coffee

My friend is up here. She came late this morning and will be returning home Monday morning. She may want to go home early or wish she didn’t come by the time she leaves.

Al has not been the most pleasant man to be around. The term terminal restlessness has been brought to my attention now.

What is Terminal Restlessness or Agitation?

Those who work with the dying know this type of restlessness or…

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Saturday Filled to the Brim, But Not Coffee


My friend is up here. She came late this morning and will be returning home Monday morning. She may want to go home early or wish she didn’t come by the time she leaves.

Al has not been the most pleasant man to be around. The term terminal restlessness has been brought to my attention now.

What is Terminal Restlessness or Agitation?

Those who work with the dying know this type of restlessness or agitation almost immediately. However, the public and patient’s family may have no idea what is going on and often become quite alarmed at their loved one’s condition. What does it look like? Although it varies somewhat in each patient, there are common themes that are seen over and over again.

Patients may be too weak to walk or stand, but they insist on getting up from the bed to the chair, or from the chair back to the bed. Whatever position they are in, they complain they are not comfortable and demand to change positions, even if pain is well-managed. They may yell out using uncharacteristic language, sometimes angrily accusing others around them. They appear extremely agitated and may not be objective about their own condition. They may be hallucinating, having psychotic episodes and be totally “out of control.” At these times, the patient’s safety is seriously threatened.

Some patients may demand to go to the hospital emergency room, even though there is nothing that can be done for them there. Some patients may insist that the police be called … that someone unseen is trying to harm them. Some patients may not recognize those around them, confusing them with other people. They may act as if they were living in the past, confronting an old enemy.

My brother has also been having big messes waiting for me each morning. This morning was the biggest and the worst. It took me an hour to clean him up and then I found some depends that were left over.

I used one under him and three pads. Within a half an hour he did it again. So you all know how I spent my morning. I would not trade the luxury of being Al’s caregiver for anything but I will admit this is not one of the duties I care for much.

He feels bad that he is doing this but I just keep reminding him it is not his fault. Al is not eating very much today. He didn’t eat breakfast and took two bites for lunch.

Last evening his stomach was so swollen he looked like he was pregnant. I talked to Hospice and they didn’t seem to have any idea why this was happening. All I know is when he had the big bomb drop this morning the swelling went a way.

Oh what a day. The positive in this day? The sun is shining. It is about forty degrees. I have a window slightly opened. My friend is here. Al is more quiet today than yesterday.

So life is good. I wish it was better, but we deal with what we are given.Al 2

Daily Prompt; The Heat is On


Daily Prompt; The Heat is On

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, Daily Prompt, DP

Do you thrive under pressure or crumble at the thought of it? Does your best stuff surface as the deadline approaches or do you need to iterate, day after day to achieve something you’re proud of? Tell us how you work best.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us PRESSURE.

Odd that this is the prompt for today. I was actually considering blogging…

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Daily Prompt; The Heat is On


http://dailypost.wordpress.com, Daily Prompt, DP

Do you thrive under pressure or crumble at the thought of it? Does your best stuff surface as the deadline approaches or do you need to iterate, day after day to achieve something you’re proud of? Tell us how you work best.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us PRESSURE.

Odd that this is the prompt for today. I was actually considering blogging about the pressure and then backed down from it in order not to accidentally bring down anyone else.

The weekend was the worst. Today is even more so. The pressure is on because listening to a family member tell you they are unloved, unworthy, a piece of crap, a zombie, is something that can rip up a family member’s heart.

I have been unzipped. My heart is wide-open. The tears started first thing this morning for Al and then I followed in his step. Listening to him is just about more than I can deal with. To know these are his true feelings, whether it is the low oxygen or not,  he still believes it at the moment he is saying it.

I would say my nerves are shot so early in the day. I feel like a hose ready to explode, but I have to keep it together for his sake.broken hose