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English: A rear view of a woman's thong underw...

Did someone say something or did you notice anything that made you all of a sudden jump back? Did you in a blink of an eye realize that you are getting older or out of the hip hop age?

Did a fly land on your nose and you smacked it, knocking some kind of weird thoughts to fly through your head? Did you really think that you were like a balloon being blown up and at one point you would not burst?

I did have that moment last night. While laying in bed watching my Nick-At-Nite station this commercial came on. I sat up sort of snickering to myself. I was trying to picture it. Then as the commercial repeated itself several times, and this was in case you are so old that you didn’t catch it all the first time, I was laughing hysterically.

There was a small part of the stunt that I didn’t find amusing. No dimples were showing on my face. In fact, I thought, what will these TV programs do for a buck? Is this what most people want to see; or am I just out-of-date.

The show that was being advertised was Forever Young. The show is about mixing up young people with senior citizens. First of all why does this rub me the wrong way? Isn’t it the young people who laugh when I am walking through  the street crossing and ask a young man to hold my elbow so I don’t fall?

Isn’t it those young whipper snappers always trying to show me their manliness by showing me their butt cracks in their pajamas bottoms? Or how about those young fillies last week that laughed their you know whats off when they saw me walking down the pier at the lake? I couldn’t help it a wrinkle escaped here and there through my new bikini. For heaven’s sake give an old lady a break.

But what about the happy Seniors that were brought up in a different era. Being taught to dress properly, respect all elders, obey your parents, and be a God-fearing person. Why is so important to show the younger generation getting the Seniors to get drunk or party on.

Is that the way people have fun today? Going to bars, bed hopping, getting plastered or making complete fools out of themselves? Is this what it takes to sell TV? What about medical conditions; shouldn’t that be considered before you pour that first glass down an older person’s throat?

The part that made me laugh myself until I almost peed was the thongs. Ya thongs, yep, I tried them one time. But it felt like I was always picking something out of my rear. Like a piece of chicken caught in my teeth, I was always picking at my britches.

The size of the thong for the TV commercial looked pretty large to me too. Sort of like where does that string go, or finding a needle in the hay stack thing. I don’t know; I tried to picture myself strutting downtown with the walk, but every few feet I had to stop and pick, just like a dog stops and scratches.

I always used to laugh when I was a snotty teenager about the brand of underwear that guys wear. Fruit of the Looms, I wondered naughty thoughts that I won’t write here, just use your imagination.

But now that I am older myself, I want comfort. I want the fruit of the Looms for gals. Cover up my whole area, no picking for me. The only thing I want to be scratching is my new lottery tickets I just bought.

So maybe I am getting dull or older or simple. But when I have a guy looking my way I want him to notice my Madonna breast and not my fingers that have been lost in the deep divide.

I don’t want to come to the realization that the only way I am going to attract the opposite sex is by being all fogged up and wondering who’s bed I am waking up in. I will be content with who I am and try to do good things for others. For entertainment, I will laugh my ass off at the TV commercials and be asleep by ten.