Looking out over the ocean, she stands there in awe, as a vast wave comes closer to her, knowing this wave could whisk her away and into the depths of the waters, never to be found again, swimming as a mermaid, running from all problems that were dealt with the prior day.
To have no one to answer to and no one to cause pain is the direction she dreams of following. Work calling her name too often, the telephone ringing too much, she dreams of a paradise of silence, where no one knows her name any longer.
A stranger passes by and with his head nods in her direction, raising a hand in a gesture that shows me he is friendly. What is his name, what does he want? Can it be true that he is just crossing over to the other side of her, not wanting anything, not knowing her reasons for standing at the water’s edge?
He walks by leaving her once again staring and wishing she herself was a wave in this huge body of water. Able to be swiftly taken to other areas unexplored and waiting to be called to, hearing her name being whispered to come with me and you shall never experience pain again.
Thoughts of the past flash before her eyes. Memories of laughter, tears, and joy and sadness wash over her like soft petals dropping from a rose flower. Shivers creep quickly over her entire skin that hides and covers the soul that is meant to carry such heavy loads.
Faces of the past come straight towards her, forcing her to remember past relationships where trusts were once formed but now broken in half. Friendships that were there from years long ago, now disappeared, only being thought of as if seeing a shooting star for the very first time. A smile comes over the face and then fades quickly away, as the truth of her life comes back into focus.
Now being forced to walk along the edges of areas unknown, relying on strangers to direct her path in life.Wanting to believe what is being said, but fears of non trust rise to the surface, once again pulling up the borders of her heart, keeping it protected from those who do not care. Those vultures in the sky that fly in circles ready to sweep down and take the life that you have breathed for so long. One bite from their mouth can send you flipping upside down and sending you into the orbits of space, never quite sure if you will return standing on your feet once again.
Life is hard and yet she knows that so many make it sound so easy. Trust, trust in something, in someone, this is the way you survive living, and each step you walk forward, you look backwards to see if you are still following, or have you lost your way and are nothing but a shadow in your own path.
Can she really think of herself at this point in her life? Can she pretend that it is she that is standing alone out here at the water’s edge, or should she acknowledge that pieces of her past and present are floating like bubbles on the water’s surface.
She walks away from the edge, kicking sand pebbles with her bare feet, feeling the warmth of its surface upon each step taken. The thoughts of the ocean calling her name remain with her, as she goes back into reality, trying once more to make her own mark in this world.
Who I am 