Open Hearts


On my Face Book page I am friends with a gentleman on a poetry page. I have been following him and his thoughts for some time. He was married for over 50 years and lost his beloved wife to Alzheimer’s Disease.

I got permission from Stanton to share his poem with all of you.

We all have lost someone in our lives and if you have not experienced this, you are so lucky. My heart could relate to so many things he was writing about as far as Al goes. Here it is. I hope you enjoy or feel the open heart.

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One Lonely House and One Lonely Man

Come walk around this lonely house with me…

I have nothing here to sell you.

Just some things that I would tell you…

Of a lonely house that June once made a home.

Before the day…that Alzheimer’s took June away.

A Wednesday  in March was the day…

that June went away.

Over there sits our old chairs.

Where June would often sit with me…

And softly say: “I love you Stan!

June is now gone from our home forever …

And this lonely house will never again be a home…

Without June and the Love that we once knew…

Just one lonely house with one lonely man…

and the long lonely nights.

Straight ahead…There’s our bed.

Where we lay, loved and talked together.

See June’s picture on the table…

Doesn’t June look like she’d be able…

to touch me and say…good morning Stan!

In those days when June made this house a home…

Now…Just one lonely house and one lonely man…

and the long lonely nights.

Come walk around this house with me…

one lonely house with one lonely man…

There’s June’s rings and all her things…

June’s clothes are all still in the closets.

The refrigerator door with all of …

…June’s notes, photos , and knacks…

Just as June left them on that day…

that June went away…

That Day my world was torn apart.

that lonely day that broke my heart…

a Wednesday in March was the day.

That Alzheimer’s took June away.

Come walk around this house with me…

I have nothing here to sell you…

Just some things that I would tell you!

Of one lonely house and one lonely man…

and the long lonely nights.

June and Stan 15 March 2005

My Visit With Hospice Tonight


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I had a meeting tonight as I said earlier. She met Al but spent more time talking to me. We didn’t let on to Al that she was a Hospice person as he remembers Dad having them with him.

I always think I have things figured out, but am proven wrong time and time again. It is a touchy area we are in now. With Al coming home on a waiver, Hospice may not be able to come in between the waiver and Al.

If I allow Hospice in Al could lose his fifty hours. Instead of help coming each morning and helping him to get up, bathe and dress, Hospice would provide bathing twice a week and a nurse every few days.

There is much to check into for her. She first has to have the approval of the doctors she works for that Al would qualify, no matter how much our own doctor has written a prescription for it.

Al would not lose his day program, but which is more important? Him being bathed daily and helped with getting up and breakfast? Or, two baths a week and a guaranteed visit with a nurse?

She is supposed to let me know in a couple of days. I don’t know the answer. The lady said Al should be on palliative care which is agreed by all doctors. She also stated that taking Al to the ER for every internal fake  heart attack may be a waste of time. She agrees with our own doctors. But other than that, I don’t know which way to go if she comes back Wednesday and says he was approved.

She did mention that she could check and see if hours could be divided between hospice and Al’s own hours since he has so many. What are your thoughts on this?

For Today


Someone on Facebook just said it was Thursday. What? Are you sure? Where did Monday through Wednesday go?

What did I do in those three days prior today? Maybe for today I am a box or Rice Crispies Cereal. I think I can hear myself snap, crackle, and pop.

All I really remember from these past few days is Al and frustrations. Maybe I was standing beside Michael Buble when he sang roseA Foggy Day In London

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is time to put the cereal box feelings a way. Today I want to be beautiful rose with gentle petals opening after a morning dew. Walking with grace and confidence, calm and graceful. Strong standing tall.

A rose that I do see

Standing oh so near to me

Never afraid to stand apart

Showing steady a beating heart

For today I will breathe and inhale

This flower’s strength and I shall

Take the day as it comes

And I shall sing and also hum

That the soul of the Rose is inside of me

And the beauty I carry for all to see.

Terry Shepherd

05/09/2013

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964