Mom & Dad

Cries of the Past

Standing under our favorite weeping willow tree

Seeing the swing that we too often sat on

Looking out over the waters flowing to channels

Birds calling to each other, babies please come home

I look to my side and don’t see anyone

But my shadow mocking my every move

I look up to the skies so blue

And luring me through white cotton balls

My mind reaches beyond the color of my eyes

Depths of haze that will fog my sight

I reach deep within my soul and I force out

The cries that have been buried deep within

Crashing the heavens with my urges

To see them once again

The flying creatures take refuge

As the shatters of my thoughts

Pierce the heavens far from my reach

My shadow falls to the ground

As the breath is shaken from the soul

My body follows in repetition

Lying beside the broken sillouette

Tears come sobbing from deep within

Rocking my world shaking my spirit

No one comes to my rescue

No one hears my cries

I grab the green grass between weak fingers

Smelling the earth of where bodies rest

No more request the world now silent

A voice whispers gently in my ear

My dear child I have heard your cries

Here let me wipe your tears

Stand up and stay strong

Walk with your head held high

For they know of your love

And I have instructed them

That you will be along soon enough

You must go forth and spread the word

Bring as many children to me as you can

Only when you have completed my task

Will you be joined with them once again.

I feel his hands reach my weak body

He tenderly stands me up brushing me off

With gentle fingers he turns tears to smiles

He blows strength into my body

And my feet begin the journey

He has directed me towards

I can see nothing as I look around

But our two spirits have connected

His hands disappear back to

The heavens and the birds

Begin to come to life once again

The skies bluer than water

Puffy clouds sheltering my walk

As I complete what makes my soul unbroken.

Terry Shepherd


FWF;Free Write Friday/ Word Bank

Sheer Color

Word Bank: Opal, Vague, Whirl, Dream, Sheer, Conjure, Bare, Allure

Pierre’s fiance died only three months ago. Taken from him by a terrible car accident. Each day he sat in mourning on his veranda. The setting sun would cast shadows on the walls signaling him to return to the indoors only to wait until the morrow to grasp his soul once again.

Danielle was visiting his country when he spotted her opal skinned body. He watched her with interest as she took photos and jotted notes in her book. What beautiful flowing hair she had. It was a deep auburn that flowed heavily down her back. Her eyes were sea green.

He never took his eyes off of her during the hour she did her work. Her beauty allured him to her. He took his hat off and introduced himself to her. She smiled at him with vague eyes that he understood she did not recognize his language.

Danielle stopped what she was doing and pulled out her dictionary and with a little struggle communication was transpired. Pierre asked her if she would like to have a drink with him. He had to know more about her. Her smile seemed to conjure him and he felt he could not leave her side.

Danielle agreed to go with him a few yards a way to a tiny cafe that served many varieties of coffees, teas and wines. He helped her to sit and he ordered for the two of them. The two laughed and after some time a touch of flirtation became obvious.

The vocabulary of words became replaced with body signals. When it was time to depart Pierre asked her to dine with him for dinner and she accepted. He bent and kissed her bare hand and replaced his hat as he bid her farewell until their next meeting.

While the two were not visible to each other, Pierre’s mind whirled with thoughts of love. He was infatuated with this beautiful creature. He had never felt these feelings before. He must not let her escape.

He arrived a few moments earlier than Danielle. He waited patiently for her. Then he saw the white bonnet nearing him. Her body was draped in a sheer white dress that made his head dream about what was hiding under the flowing layers.

The two dined and afterwards walked hand in hand through the beautiful park. Under a tree with leaves casting privacy around them he kissed her. She returned his kiss with vigor. Two hearts becoming one at this very moment. He vowed he would never let her go. She had to be his forever and ever.

The two continued to see each other every free minute they had. Danielle was to return to her own country in five days. They talked little about the speed of the days ending. They centered more on the spontaneity of each moment. They lived and they loved.

On the night before she was to leave Pierre took her to a restaurant that was filled by soft shimmering candles. The lights were dimmed low. He had requested a table a way from all others. The service was magnificent, the food was delightful, but the beauty was held in their eyes.

After their creme brulee  was eaten, he knelt in front of her and offered his love by placing a diamond ring on her tiny finger. He stood up and pulled her to him kissing her passionately on her lips. The two left and walked to his home where he gently lay her on his bed. With every fiber in his being he professed his love to her.

The two fell asleep after many hours of passion. In the morning plans were made for her to move in with him. Before they bid each other good-bye for the three weeks they would be apart, each detail of the plans were in place.

He saw her fly into the heavens and he remained glued to the plane until he could no longer see even a speck. Returning to his home his heart felt pain as he missed her so badly.

Time went by slowly at first and then became a snail as it crawled to the last few days before they would finally be together again. He had last-minute errands to run and he was on his way out the door. When he opened it a messenger man stood

there with a telegram for him.

He closed the door and read to himself and then sunk into his chair. Tears started streaming and soon he was hugging the floor sobbing. The telegram had read, This is Danielle’s father. I regret to inform you that she was killed instantly in an automobile accident two days ago. I am so sorry that I have to tell you this.



Hottie Walks Into a Bar

Fierce, flawless

Laying in bed all covered up. 9pm and watching Bad News Bears. Seeing the faces of these little kids wanting to play ball so badly with a drunk coach that cares more about the can than the kids.

The kids lose all respect for the drunken coach. They take a vote and decide to quit. They had been teased enough by classmates. As I am watching this show something in me is beginning to connect with these kids who are starting to believe they are losers.

Are they really losers or do they just need a push and words of praise? I believe the latter. I find that this is true for all of us who walk this earth. Believing we are nothing and worthless doesn’t make life a great place to walk among other human life.

I started to see my own self as a could be loser. I was having a good beginning to a nice big pity party. I thought about my swim class and how I have missed this week because of appointments for my brother and the known fact that I am too big of a scardy cat  to drive on the snow and in the frigid temperatures.

I began to place myself in make-believe places. I envisioned myself fixing up my face. Using my make-up to make others believe that I was a hottie. I made my eyes pop. I had nice pouty red lips. Flawless skin with nice peachy colored cheeks. I would slide into my tightest fitting pants. Put on a push-up bra and slip a silky top over my chest. Spraying perfume that would drive the guys crazy, I agonized the pain as I squeezed my big feet into four-inch spikes.

There I did it. I looked like Olivia Newton John in the movie Grease. A real looker. I got in my car and drove to the busiest bar and parked. Standing outside the double doors I lit a cigarette and opened the doors making sure to stay there long enough to get the looks coming my way.

Reality smacked me right in the face as some big smart ass made a crack,look at granny there thinking she’s all that and more. Darn, she must be hard up for sex guys. Which one of you is going to be her first?

The smack was hard and I dropped the smoke from my lips and it burnt my perky little blouse as it fell to the ground in ashes. Stepping on it with my heels, I flipped my hair and gave them the bird and turned around and walked a way. I was not going to give them the satisfaction of knowing they had broken this heart.

After letting that vision fall to the floor, I flipped the stations while a commercial was on. Ice-skaters were skating for competition. My visions picked back up as I saw myself standing in front of my dressing room. I had beautiful brown hair that was pulled up tightly into braids on top of my head. My eyes were deep brown and my brows were perfectly lined. Carefully painted red lips adorned my face.

As I smoothed my costume I ran my hands down the curves of my body. I had done good. There was not even an inch to pinch. Hard work outs and starving myself had paid off. I was beautiful. I could hear the crowds cheering. They were calling my name. They wanted to see me skate. I was tagged as a favorite for this years competition.

I walked out of my dressing room and put on my skates and laced them up. I stood at the edge of the rink and saw dozens of roses falling over the floor. All of a sudden I saw myself as the girl who stared in the movie with Rob Lowe. Was her name Lindsey? I can’t remember. She was blind but beautiful and a fabulous skater. She did her routine and then fell over the roses.

For me I walked out with an attitude of beauty and desire and tripped right over the roses. I fell onto the ice head first breaking my nose. Well, there goes that dream. Poof it was gone. The commercial is over so back to the movie.

Because of low esteem and anger towards the coach the kids were acting out. They were punishing the coach for letting them down. The manager had recognized his faults and came back to where he should have been all along. He wanted a second chance. How many times do we as adults give second chances? For kids I think this comes easier. They trust quicker than adults do. After a couple of practices they are all coming together as a team.

I looked at myself. I stripped myself down to nothing. All that was left was the heart and soul that the skin was holding in place. Having given birth three times was the first thing that was sticking out to me. Thank goodness for tummy huggers. We can hide what we don’t want shown.

Growing older is definitely a reason for the sagging to start showing. Boobs that once stood on their own now need a little help from a Madonna bra. The droopy butt needed a pair of panties with a lift for the behind.

Somewhere out there I know there is a woman who has been exactly where I am at today. To have created these wonderful allusions to make us go back to a time when we were younger and with skin much firmer is definitely a dream come true.

It was fun to play make-believe It made me laugh. It lightened my mood, and  I learned a good lesson that I didn’t even realize until it was over. We live  and we play hard in life. We are where we are today because of the paths we have chosen. I may not have that bar look, and I am definitely not one whose name is mentioned often. But I am me, proud of who I am. I have lived, had beautiful babies, taken care of sick, made others feel better. I write, I have what I am supposed to be having for the moment. Who knows what the next door holds that I will walk through.

I still have my dreams. I think it is very important to have dreams and goals. I don’t think it is silly to want to leave one mark on this earth. I am learning through experiences that laughter can be found in small places. I even laughed at myself and this is rare. Life is good isn’t it………


He Was Not Invited!!!!

Ice Water

How many bugs do you swallow that you do not see? I had a tiny gnat or something similar

Eye Gnat

that was flying around on my computer screen. He loved the light! I followed him around with my finger trip and tried to confuse him and make him dizzy, and finally he left.

Later, I took a nice big drink of my very ice-cold water. I was so thirsty because we had Domino’s pizza for supper. The spices get me every time. LOL. I was drinking and quenching my thirst and was looking down at my glass almost cross-eyed, and I spotted the spot! It was him! The gnat! That pest had tried to get me back for me trying to make him dizzy, by landing his butt in my glass. If I would not have looked he may have ended up in the deep, black hole in the back of my mouth, but instead, I gasped, choked, and water came flooding out my nose. I coughed, my eyes watered, and I about up-chucked. I guess I will never tease bugs again! I have learned my lesson.

But, it made me start thinking, about how many times I do take chug-a-lug drinks when I am so hot and thirsty and don’t look. How many bugs have I swallowed? How about those hot, humid nights when we are sitting outside, trying to catch a feel of a soft breeze going by. Have the bugs invaded my drinks?

What about the opened cola cans sitting outside. Are we inviting them in for a swim? Did we invite them in for tea? I think we must all be aware of what we are drinking and make sure we have not taken more into our guts than what we want there.

Well my gosh, now there is another gnat flying around. It must be Al’s banana peelings. I don’t have any garbage lying around. Quickly, I lay a tissue over the top of my newly poured ice water. I am not open for another water slide out my nose!! LOL

Alone, Outside

English: One of many garbage bags at a sports ...

English: One of many garbage bags at a sports event. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Before, I say anything, I just want to let you know that I am in a good mood. Although, having to go outside and pick up crap was not fun.

After getting up this morning,and realizing no one was going to be stopping by, I took my time drinking my coffee and enjoying my blogging friends. I even showed off one of my granddaughters earlier this morning.

The sun was hinting to me that it was warming up as the central air kicked on. I fought it very hard, but inside my heart, I knew I needed to get outside to clean the yard before I turned into a roasted marshmallow!

You realize this is the same thing we do with God also. We know what we need to do. It is right there in our mind and our heart, but we fight it and fight it. We either turn our backs on God and turn into a disappointment, or we listen to him and do what is right, and move in his work and word.

So, I get myself dressed in a one piece romper, terry cloth. I know I do not have the figure to wear it, but who is going to see me?, a passer-by, the squirrels, or maybe an old lady peeking out of her window? haha. I walk outside and I feel the heat. I have my flip-flops on. I know I should be wearing my shoes and socks, because I have diabetic Neuropathy, but gosh darn, it is hot, and my feet were begging me to be free. I felt the sun beat down on my delicate little fat toes, and I quickly moved to the shaded areas to start my job.

I believe this is the fourth clean-up job for me,although the other three were done together with other helping hands, so it is just me out here alone. I do what I tell others never to do. I work for a while, and then look at what is ahead of me yet. I do know that doing this makes me more tired than I was a moment ago. Never preach what you will not practice.

As I moved inch by inch, I was picking up nails, staples, little pieces of tar papers, and single pieces of shingles, and some of them were double shingles. I filled up three bags and a garbage can of trash. What made me a little irritated, wasn’t the fact I was cleaning up from the roof left overs, but I was picking up the guys junk also. Water bottles, bottle labels, cigarettes and food wrappers. Are you serious? I have to touch those dirty butts that someone else sucked on and had in their mouth? Cooties for sure! LOL. I know they deserved to smoke, and drink, and even eat, but something about touching those ciggy butts made me ill, and I smoke, so it must be a germ thing.

I had two small piles on the cement where the car sat, and I tried a couple of times to sweep them into the bag with my broom and a dust pan, but I could not keep the flimsy plastic trash bags open, and they are even Hefty ones, strong, powerful, made to do any job! Not!

I go inside where Al is sitting all nice and comfy in his recliner, in the cool air, and ask him if he can help me outside. He didn’t want to go, not so much because of the Parkinson’s, but he didn’t want to help, but he came out. I don’t know what was going on. Maybe it was the mental challenge, or the heat or the Parkinson’s or the idea he didn’t want to help, but it was a useless idea. He could not or would not hold the bag open for me, and when I tried putting the dust pan inside of the bag, it would only catch half and the other half went back to the ground. Now it is 91 degrees out here in the shade. I can’t do this. Diabetics, at least me, do not do well with our sugar management when we are over heated. I sent him back inside, and went to the natural scooper, my hands, and got all of the big stuff, then used the broom and dust pan for the final touches.

I put all the tools away, swept off the porch, ran the broom around the edges where there were millions of tiny pieces of sparkles and little beads from the old shingles. The edges of the house were coated so that the color of the house looked like black mold. After doing the sweep thing, all color came back. I picked up all extension cords, boom boxes, and walked all around the house with my little black bags. If a child would be a passenger in a car going by, he would wonder if I was Santa. My skin was turning red from the sun but I had a black goodie bag, instead of a red one!

After three hours, and a mild sun-burn so far, and a nice cool shower, and clean clothes, I have finished the project. Now I am going to post this and take a nap on my couch with the air running and a light weight blanket covering me with my own soft pillow. See you all later on, after Al wakes up from his nap!