Yesterday Once More
Looking back yearning
For what once was
As I remember
The way life
Yesterday Once More
Looking back yearning
For what once was
As I remember
The way life
For what once was
As I remember
The way life
Used to be
Oh bring me
One more chance
To place everything
Back to yesterday
Yes, I see you
In my vision
I see your smiling faces
Let me drown in
Your beautiful memories
Let me live
Yesterday once more.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt
If you could take a break from your life and go back to school to master a subject, what would it be?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us MASTERY.
The very first thing I would do if I could go back to school is forget the opposite sex. Yes, I mean guys. Yes, they are nice, but when you are a teen, a girl, guys can really get in the way.
In the way of learning, of exploring new interests, working hard, getting better grades. Oh I didn’t do bad in school. I got A’s, B’s and C’s; but what if I would have concentrated more on my future, instead of living for the moment.
Yes, you guessed it, I was boy crazy. A normal teenager looking at boys any chance I had.
Getting fair grades, but able to do better. More interested in how short I could get by with my length of dresses and skirts.
It all sounds crazy when I look back now, but it is so important for teens to feel like they fit in. To be accepted can make it or break it for a young person
I never got in any trouble when I was growing up. I never saw the teacher’s paddle. I never had to sit in the corner with my dunce cap on.
In my adult life, I have been to college to take some classes to see how much I have slipped through the years. I have entered the Nursing Program twice.
Each time I was part way through Al would end up in the hospital.
You can’t miss many classes. When I spent most of every day sitting with Al I would drop out and promise myself to go back later.
Later has never came and now that I am nearing an age where employers would question my alertness and good judgement, I will settle for what I have learned.
Which is hands on hands training. Real patients, in real home situations. Getting involved with patients on a more personal level, mixing it up with involvement with family members.
Without my hands on training I may not have been able to grab a hold of the opportunity to care for Al at this stage of his illness.
God knew all the time that I didn’t really have to have that diploma from a college. He knew I would struggle to pay back those expensive school loans.
So he did what he knew was perfect for me, taught me as I lived life. Isn’t God fabulous? Isn’t it amazing how much he knows and yet we do everything in our power to solve our own problems first before finally turning to him for help.
I had seen one of her comments and poems tonight of where she paid special tribute to certain people, and I asked her if she ever got bored or had time if she could do something for me, for my memories of my brother, Al.
I waited for a reply back and went to her Facebook profile. Here is her link; https://www.facebook.com
Here is a peek at who she is;
I will never forget the gift she gave me within the same evening. I told her I was going to share it with you and let you know that she wrote it for me and Al. Here is the poem.
Thank-you so much Dianne.
|Dianne Cogar||11:03pm Jul 15|
Al, My Dear Brother And Faithful Friend
Emotions Drawn From The Heart Of Terry Shepherd
20 Revised by Dianne Cogar 13
One kind and loving brother, and a wonderful true friend–
Someone who cares deeply from the start to no end!
Your smile and your wisdom, it’s uniquely your own–
Still young at heart, though you’re now fully grown.
This life sometimes hurts, and heartache stands in the way–
Though you revive my soul, spreading joy on each day.
And as tears sometimes flow, happiness will befall–
Empowering my emotions with this life I recall
You’re a man with a heart, and your life’s full of wonder–
Though sometimes confused, and you’re sometimes in blunder.
But God has a plan, Al you’re special to me–
You bring to life purpose and He filled you with glee
There’s two loves in your world, both are true to your need–
And they keep you content, yes, they keep your mind freed.
Old vintage cars; such amusement and desire–
And that sweet cocoa-cola that often takes you even higher!
Such small things to ask for, and even smaller gifts to give–
But these humbling pleasures are what that makes heart live.
Al, you’re a treasure, though still a diamond in the rough–
But together we survive, and together we grow tough.
And there’s no other brother that could make me feel this glad,
For all the memories we’ve shared, and even those that go bad
Yes, God has a plan, and he touches my heart,
From the fresh new of dawn, to the eve we must part.
And though worry I do, and the tears sometimes fall,
I know my problems are few– in comparison they’re small.
So let’s just go on with each day, and each in thankful belief–
And I’ll trust with my heart will come peace and relief.
You just smile at me always, with your eyes bright and true–
And never forget Al, that I’ll always love you!
For several nights Derek dreamed. They were vivid and colorful, yet when he woke his bed was wet from the sweat that dripped from his body.
He began to fear closing his eyes at night. The visions of his nightmare remaining clear in his mind.
He began his journey of tearing apart the tiny pieces and dissecting each thought. In the end he hoped that he could place the puzzle together and see clearly what his dream meant.
Some said because the color of green was so alive, that maybe he wished for money. Others asked if he was afraid of someone or maybe he had instincts about something bad going down at work.
Still others thought maybe he was wrestling something from his past.
Derek didn’t know and after days of this continuing he decided to look into a special doctor. He called a shrink out of the yellow pages and set an appointment. He was nervous as he pulled into the parking lot.
He pulled out a cigarette and puffed on it, arguing with himself on whether he should go into this adventure. Did he really want to know? Was it really that bad? After all, it only happened at night-time. Weren’t his days just fine?
He took his last puff and put it out. He sat there a few minutes longer looking at his reflection in the rear view mirror. Trying to see the answers staring back at him but all he got were blank shells.
Ah what the hell, let’s get this over with. Better to know I guess than wearing myself down trying to figure it out on my own.
He walked through the double doors and was greeted by a blonde bombshell. Good morning sir. Do you have an appointment?
Derek stared at her and his lips wouldn’t move. Between his restless nights and hours of trying to figure out what was wrong with him, and then looking at this gorgeous babe, for a minute, he couldn’t speak.
Um, yes, yes I do have an appointment. The names Miller, Derek Miller.
She smiled at him and checked her appointment book. Yes, here you are. You are right on time Mr. Miller. Please have a seat and I will let the doctor know you are here.
Derek walked over to one of the empty seats. He couldn’t hardly keep his eyes to himself. They must put pretty girls in that box to keep our minds off our own problems.
She glanced at him as if she had read his mind and smiled. He smiled and then looked a way, embarrassed that he had been caught looking at her.
Soon his name was called and he walked into a small warm office. The draperies were of heavy, green tapestries, just like the green in his dreams. The furniture smelled of leather and when he was asked to have a seat he sunk in.
Sort of reminded him of his dream; getting sucked into a position he was not comfortable with.
The doctor introduced himself as Dr. Meyers. He started the conversation off with asking Derek general questions.
Where did you grow up? What do you do for a living? What kind of relationship did you have with your parents? Now, tell me about this recurring dream you are having.
Derek coughed and cleared his throat. He was nervous so he tucked his hands under his legs to keep his fingers from shaking. He began his story from the beginning and didn’t stop until the end.
Dr. Meyers looked up from the notes he was writing and asked, Derek, may I call you Derek instead of Mr. Miller? Derek nodded and the doctor continued.
How do you feel about yourself? Have you ever struggled with who you are? How do you think you fit in with life in general?
Derek sat there and considered what to say. He hung his head down towards his lap as if he was praying and then looked back up at the doctor.
I, well I guess I am alright. I think I fit in. Mom and Dad always taught me that what I did in school was never enough. They always said I could do better. If I got less than an A, they pounded me emotionally to do better. They accused me of goofing off. I guess I carry this into my work today also. I want the boss to know I am giving it my all. I want to be appreciated for all I do.
Dr. Meyers shook his head as Derek talked. Yes, Derek, we all want to please our parents when we are young. But maybe their ideas of good enough were different from your ideas. Maybe you already were doing your best. And although we would all love it, many bosses do not say enough of how much we are appreciated. Sometimes the only time we hear from them is if we screw up. You know what I mean Derek?
Derek chuckled to himself, thinking back to one particular time when he did get called into the big man’s office for not having a report exactly the way he wanted. He guessed this doc may have a point.
I think I understand your dreams Mr. Miller. The dream scared you right? It seems bigger than you see yourself? I think this dream has a title, a main theme, a one-headed horse, on a one-way path. It is called Insecurity.
Derek looked up at him and they locked eyes for a moment as Derek let what the doctor said sink in a little bit.
You mean you think I am afraid of myself?
No, you are not afraid of yourself. You have done very well in fact. You have a good education. From what you say you have nice living quarters. You drive a new car. No, you are insecure about not being good enough in your eyes. The reason you don’t hear anything from your boss is you are doing fine. You and your parents seem to have a good relationship all things considered. You look healthy. You just need to change your train of thought. Bring it up a notch or two. Bring yourself in to this day and age. Let the child go and accept the great person you are as an adult.
Derek took a long deep breath. He felt like a big boulder had been lifted from his shoulders. He knew in his gut this doc was right on target. He stood up when the doctor said time’s up.
Unless you continue to have these dreams I think you are one of the lucky ones. I doubt if we need to schedule any more appointments for you. But I am here if you feel the need.
Derek shook the doctor’s hand and walked out of the building. He stopped out in the sunlight and inhaled deeply the fresh air. He looked at the people walking and the kids riding their bikes. He smiled and went home.
When it was time to go to bed, his fear crept back but not as bad. He was anxious this time to go to sleep to see if he would have his dream. When he awoke the next morning, sun came pouring in his windows. It was a beautiful day and the mean, green dream had vanished.
For His Wife’s Sake
She sat on the curb watching the other kids play. She had a tank top on that was too tight. She was…
She sat on the curb watching the other kids play. She had a tank top on that was too tight. She was old enough to be wearing a bra but she didn’t own one. This shirt definitely showed her need of one.
Her shorts were too short and they cut off her waist. She kept sucking in her gut to try to gain some room so the button would quit digging in her skin but she couldn’t hold her breath that long.
Her shoes had holes in the tops and she could see her big toe wiggling out of the top. She had no socks on so her heel blisters were burning bad. She did the best to comb her hair before she went out the front door, but it was hot, and she needed a ponytail holder.
She felt like she didn’t fit in. No one liked her and no one ever said a word to her. Her mother sat home with a bottle attached to her hand. She could care less about anything except that she had the drink in her.
Her father had left her mother years ago because her mother was a drunk. But why did papa leave me behind too? Why didn’t he take me with him? Mother doesn’t like me either.
As thoughts twisted through her mind tears began to fall. She took her dirty hand and wiped them away. The kids at the park took no notice of her. She had one friend but since school was out for the summer she wouldn’t see her until school started again.
Across the street from the park a woman cried her heart out as she watched the little girl each day. She and her husband wanted a child so bad, but she was barren. Here was a child who obviously was not wanted and she wanted a child.
That night at the supper table the wife told her husband about the little girl on the curb. Her husband saw the pain in his wife’s eyes. He knew how bad she wanted a child. He wasn’t sure if he could adopt or not. Could he love someone else’s child like his own?
He asked his wife when she usually saw the child and his wife said she sat at the park most of the mornings. She must go home around lunch time. He thought well I guess I can get a look at this kid. It’s the least I can do for my wife.
The next day he cancelled one of his meetings and left for home early. When he walked in the front door he saw his wife standing in the bay window crying. He looked to where she was looking and saw the child.
For a brief moment sadness tore at his heart when he saw her tattered clothes. He looked at his wife whom he loved so much and said, “Come on, let’s take a walk over there. Maybe we can find something out about her.”
His wife smiled and the two walked over holding hands. They stood beside the child who turned and looked up at them. She quickly turned back the other way. The two strangers sat down on the curb beside the child. All three stared off in the distance. No one said a word.
Finally the wife asked, “I see you here every day. Could I ask your name?”
“That’s a beautiful name Mary. Don’t you want to go over and play with the kids?”
“No, no one wants to play with me.”
“Well my name is Sue and this is my husband Ed. We will play with you. Would you like to swing?”
Mary shook her head yes and stood up. Ed watched his wife pushing Mary on the swing. Then noticing the time he told Sue he had to get back to the office. Sue told Mary, “We have to go now. Did you enjoy that?”
“Would you like me to come back and swing with you tomorrow?”
Ed didn’t know what to think. He had seen the lonely eyes in the little girl and he saw the yearning in his wife. He thought about Mary throughout the day and he finally decided he would take his lunch break at 11am from now on. He would at least try to get to know this child for his wife’s sake.
A few weeks of this routine went on, and Mary opened up a little more all the time. She confessed that she had to be home from the park by a certain time or her Mother would come looking for her. She told Sue and Ed about her mother and the bottle. She even told them about her sore tummy due to her tight shorts. She explained about her one friend but she wouldn’t be able to see her until school started.
Ed’s heart kept dropping off pieces of wall each week. He began to picture Mary eating supper with them and tucking her in bed at nights. One day when his day was not so rushed he made a call to his attorney.
In a matter of a month the child’s Mother signed the paper giving up custody. He walked into his home and found Sue sitting by the bay window rocking. He handed her the papers and she read them.
She tossed them on the floor and jumped up giving her husband the biggest hug possible. She grabbed his hand and they raced over to the park. They came upon Mary and this time Mary was smiling at them as they came closer.
They all sat together on the curb. Ed looked at Mary and said, “I can see that your life has not been very good so far Mary. Would you like a chance at having a different life? Maybe some new clothes and new shoes?”
Mary looked at them with hungry eyes. She nodded her head yes but the fear of hope kept her from speaking. Sue patted her lap and asked Mary if she would like to sit on her lap. Mary jumped up and sat in Sues lap. Sue put her arms around the child and hugged her close. She asked,”Mary, Ed and I would love to have a child, but God just didn’t want us to. Now I know why, he knew that we would meet you. Would you like to come and live with us?”
Mary leaned into Sues chest and softly said yes. “Well come on then. Let’s go to your new home and have some lunch. I will show you your new bedroom and then you and I will go shopping for some new clothes.”
With Mary in the middle, Sue and Ed on either side, they walked hand in hand with hearts beaming, smiles showing and love pouring out for all to see.