Youngest son | Who I am

I did something last night I have not done in so long. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. My son and his family came down a bit before dark. We lit a campfire and everyone but me made smores. It was so much fun to watch the kids light their marshmallows and burn them. Watching them go up in flames made the four-year old giggle until he tasted the charred. Then he didn’t care for it much and gave the roasting stick to his Mom.

We chatted and laughed for a couple of hours. Most of the time my mind darted to Al and wondered how he was doing that evening. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen him lately. I had seen him actually that day at noon.

For some reason I feel guilty when I am laughing. I know that he is sad and depressed, so how dare me know this and put the sadness aside for a while. I couldn’t help but get involved with the innocence of kids and join in when they laughed.

After a while I did something else I had never done. I let my son talk me into a midnite ride with his family through our addition on a golf cart. Now I have to be honest, there really wasn’t room for me. I begged not to go, partially because I forgot how to have fun, and I knew that only one butt cheek of mine was going to fit comfortably. My son and his g/f scooted close together and then I gave in and took a seat.

Oh my gosh, the smell of wood burning and the fresh air must have turned me back into my childhood. As we rode through the fresh air, I could feel breeze hitting my cheeks. I felt free. Free from the world, free from problems. Free from myself. We rode all around and every time I turned around I heard my name,”Grandma”.

It was awesome. I was connecting with young people. I am not usually good at that, but for this night I was. Seeing their innocent faces, their unrehearsed laughter, listening to all they wanted to tell me, engulfed me with what I have craved for so long. A family, one of my kids and their kids. It was Over the River and Through The Woods to Grandmother’s House We go. But there was no snow, nor coats, hats and boots.

Today we celebrated my youngest son’s birthday. It is actually the 29th, but that is a work day so we had a cook out today. My son smoked chicken and steak with mushrooms on the smoker.

His g/f made home-made mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. There was also fresh green beans and fresh corn. I provided a relish tray with dip, a Birthday cake, complete with ice-cream{Birthday Party Cupcake Flavor}, nuts, whip cream and Hershey’s chocolate. After all that we still chowed, well the little ones more than me. I have to watch my sugars. But they chowed down on home-made banana graham cracker pudding.

It wasn’t an hour after we cleaned up the kitchen the kids were back at eating again. How do they do that and where do they put it?

After their tummies were finally full we pulled the badminton set out from last summer and set it up. We all played and laughed hysterically as we each missed the hit. I have not laughed so long and so hard for many months. My cheek muscles were sore from smiling so much. My stomach hurt from laughing.

I just know that for me, it was the best 24 hours I have spent in I don’t know when. Don’t worry Bud I will be there tomorrow. A regular day once again, a regular routine for the week.