Just A Little Inspiring Story I Wrote


She sat in her sewing chair, knitting another pair of mittens that went with matching hats. These were going to be Christmas gifts for her grandchildren.

Money was tight and she didn’t want to not get them anything, so she decided to make gifts instead of buying useless gifts. Annie was an old maid. She had never had any real dream of getting married nor did she meet any nice man who turned her head.

She worked in a factory in the deli area. She enjoyed her job for many years until arthritis took over and left her body useless in keeping up with the fast pace.

She retired and became the grandma or granny on the block. Kids knew if they were hungry or needed help and had no where to turn; they could always count on Grandma. Each child she met, soon became her life and her grandchild.

She was short, under five feet, but her strength in humanity was over the sky. She loved everyone. She didn’t much care if they loved her back. She would still find something good in each person.

Her home was beginning to fall apart, so the community came together and put it back to stable condition again. This included a new heating and air conditioning system. Granny didn’t care much for the cool air; but she sure appreciated the good heat.

When she felt well enough she baked cookies and made big pots of soup. There was a corner market close by and she would gather her purse with her bit of money and walk to the market and get all the day old vegetables she could. She would purchase the fatty bacon or end parts of meat and big soup bones. This is how she fed the little ones who looked so thin.

It was December 1st. The cold temperatures seemed to hit Granny hard. Weather forced her to stay inside more and she didn’t see her favorite kids too much. She couldn’t wait until the weather changed and life became livable again.

She had been spending the better part of the past two weeks making Christmas cards for her neighbors. Each one was cut from paper and she carefully drew a picture and wrote a small line of Merry Christmas.

She finally completed this task and licked the last stamp. She got her boots and coat on. She wrapped a shawl around her mouth and ears.

She went outside towards the mailbox. About two feet away, she lost her balance and fell. She cracked her head against an over-sized rock. She felt blood oozing from her nose and ears. She lay there in pain, praying for someone to see her.

The snow was deeper than usual. She knew she should have not come outside, but her grandchildren needed to know she cared and she was bent on getting these cards out.

Someone did come by and saw her. Calling for 911, the neighbor waited for help to arrive. The EMT’s lifted her into the ambulance, but poor Granny was weak and old, and she died on the way to the hospital.

Her home was decorated by the neighbors and her grandchildren. Sparkly stars rested on fallen snow. Twinkling lights shone through snowflakes on her bushes. A handmade sign and burning candles could be seen from the street. The sign read, We love you and miss you Grandma. We will never forget you; ever.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd

I Want to Live, Mentally


When you are younger than I and live a “normal” life, you may not be able to get the picture in your mind of my story. If you are disabled or elderly and confined to your four walls, you may understand perfectly.

I get so tired of the silence here in my room. I have the TV and the radio and my cellphone. After a while, those become concrete statues also. After, I run out of things to occupy my mind, I will grab my walker, go downstairs and check my mail, and if I am fortunate, I will find other people sitting on their walkers or in their wheelchairs, congregated and chatting.

I desperately don’t want to participate in this group, but I want them to save my life on the other side. I sit down on my walker and I listen and look. I look at each face, mentally comparing it to mine.

I check out their clothes, their  hands, their hair color and styles. I am not snoopy or better than them. I am comparing them to my own body. Does that make sense? I listen to them talk about the puzzles they worked on that day, what they had for lunch. Sometimes they talk about how they didn’t make it to the bathroom in time.

There are times I laugh with them, and if I can find something similar in my life that I did that day; I will add it to the conversation. Other times, I come back to my four walls and feel so depressed and almost in tears.

You may be asking, why did she move there, because she knew what type of people lived there.  That would be a good question and the answer is; I didn’t have much choice. Opportunities didn’t come in time and I needed a place to live. I didn’t want to move out of where I had resided the past year, but things happen, right?

This place worked because I am on disability and almost a legal senior citizen, but my mind is not. With having my illness, I should be so thankful for this place, but having this illness forces me to realize that life is shorter in quality of life, and therefore; I want to live.

I am not mentally ready to put puzzles together. I am not mentally ready to sit on my scooter all day or in a wheelchair. I fight back tears when I look around me and all I see are people just like those in the photograph.

I want to laugh. I want to run. I want to play. I want to live life before I am wheelchair bound. Seeing those already seated in my waiting spot, makes me ill. I want to pack my bags and hit the road, never looking back.

Of course, I want a lot of things, like most of us. For me, I want to rid this illness. I want to walk by myself without aide, but some things I have to face, I can not change. I want to change what I can change and learn to face that some things won’t change.

Does any of this make sense? I have lived over half my life and I made mistakes and I learned from some. This latter part of my life, I have nothing to lose, but to gain laughter, memories and less stress. This is what I dream of and yearn for.

I never thought different about environment except in the form of how it causes illnesses, but I now know that your every day living is also effected by what you see in front of you day in and day out. I have got to make changes. I want to live, mentally.

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Nothing Like God and Good Friends


Yesterday I felt like I was on my beginning of last months. I felt terrible. I was weak, with a burning headache, gut hurt, tremors acted up. I needed help and so I turned to God and my Facebook friends.

I had a luncheon date with my beautiful granddaughter the next day, which is today, and I didn’t want to miss it. I received many kind words of support and prayers.

I woke up this morning with a slight burning. I was still weak, but not like yesterday. I was able to keep my lunch date. It was a joy to spend time with her, chatting about what lies ahead for her summer.

After that, I had to stop at the store. I wanted to take photos but wasn’t sure I could stand well enough. I thought of a small place near here where I perhaps could take photos from my driver’s seat.

I was right. It was quiet and calm. I took a few shots and then decided I had enough to at least show you and I knew  I would come straight home and edit them and then take a nap.

Well, here are my photos. I shared them here instead of Photos Through My Eyes, my other WP site. Hope you enjoy.

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Who Am I?


This is the name of my blog, Who am I? Well, after 63 years here on earth, I should know, shouldn’t I? I know less today than yesterday. I still have a perfect memory, or so I believe. Others have told me I am slipping and if so, it’s only a little bit.

When I was a kid, I loved riding my bike and playing with dolls. I really didn’t think about fitting in like the kids do today. There was routine when I was growing up. Mom and dad worked. I had a babysitter. Parents came home. Meal preparation, bath, a little TV and then bed. The only thing that changed through those years was a baby sister came along, and I traded the babysitter in for school.

The dream of latter years was to get married and raise a family; which I did. I was blessed with three wonderful children and now have awesome grandchildren. I don’t get to see them often but I have to remember, they are developing their own lives too.

Now that I am older and I have lost many family members, I am not so sure who I am today. I know that with my illness, I suffer from headaches and falls and tremors. I know that I don’t care for silence 24/7. I know that I enjoy being with my best friend in the world. I know that I love helping people. I have empathy and compassion that I carry within me.

I know that I hate not being able to earn a paycheck, but I realize that the rewards of helping others is bigger than money itself. Sometimes money just isn’t the main deal, is it. When you get in my age bracket, I worry more about having enough money to buy groceries, or pay for medicines, or keeping up with the high auto insurance companies prices.

A lot of people have entered my life throughout the years. Some I miss dearly and always tell myself, God placed them there for a purpose. I keep in touch with these friends, but miss our chats we used to have.

I have made many new online friends on my Facebook page. Many are patients or caregivers and families. These are beautiful people with hearts so strong and a will to wake-up tomorrow.

Today, I was happy to receive notice that I had been nominated an award at Wego Health.

Wego Health is a mission driven company connecting healthcare with the experience, skills and insights of patient leaders. You can see my site here; just copy and paste

https://awards.wegohealth.com/nominate

https://www.wegohealth.com/

https://www.wegohealth.com/about-us/

This nomination made me realize I am of value on this earth. I feel proud to have been nominated. Whether I win or not, isn’t the point. It is the feeling that people like what I do. I am helping make someone’s day brighter. I am letting others know I care.

I may not be a paid professional caregiver anymore, but I still am being a caregiver to those who need me the most.

So, who am I? Well, I don’t know all the answers, but I do know that I am still making a difference in others lives.

Below is the nomination I received.

 

best

 

 

 

 

Hello


I haven’t written anything for a time. My mind has been jumbled and it has been hard to concentrate on one topic. I am sure you have had those days or weeks where plenty is going on around you and you know deep inside you; you have to make some decisions or drown somewhere. That’s me, but on the days I get to go to the  lake, everything becomes crystal clear for that amount of time. No one but me and my camera exist. All problems disappear. Below are some photos I took last week. I usually put them on my other blog for my photos, but decided to share with you here on this site. I hope you enjoy.

 

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Everyone Does It


I made myself leave my four walls. I am sitting on a picnic table at the lake. I have my side kick with me, my camera. 

There are a lot of elderly people where I live and with so many, comes complications. 

Arguing, complaining and gossip are the top three. This forces some individuals to leave each day and not return until dusk.

There is a certain fear that comes with being older and when unforseen things happen within the building, fear rises higher.

There is one gentleman who lives here. Younger, very nice looking. I have chatted with him several times as he lives close to me.

None of us are privledged to know why another is living here unless, it comes from the horses mouth.

This guy has never been able to look me in the eye. I don’t ask why as it is not my business.

I always felt sorry for him, believing he was all alone. He is one of those who leaves from dawn to dusk.

While sitting here, a couple was walking from a distance. As they neared, I recognized him and the lady with him.

I chuckled inside as I realized I had been wrong. He wasn’t looking at her, but it was obvious they were communicating by words and feelings.

I can’t always express myself easily when I am upset, although I am a jabber box.

None of us are alike but those of us find others similar to ourselves. We do survive, even in the tough situations. 

We can do it. We do humanly connect with each other.  We just do it in our own unique way.

If there are misspelled words, forgive me. Typing on my android.

There Is


There Is

Where there is life
There is hope
A persistence to explore
What lies ahead.

Where there is laughter
There is life
A feeling of love
For those around us.

Where there are tears
There is strength
A desire to live
Beyond today.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd

 

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Put That Crime in a Box


I live in a city in northern Indiana. I am not sure why I am even stating that fact; as it doesn’t seem to really matter. This happens in about any town that has any politicians involved.

There are crimes, and then there are crimes. Get what I mean? Some of the crimes in my opinions are so petty, and being locked up provides certain luxuries that some senior citizens would give their right arm to receive plus the fact it is taking up valuable space for those crimes more serious, and of course, you know who is footing these  bills of three meals and a shower, right?

I am not able to speak on experience. Crap, I am just a pebble on the beach in our town. No one really knows who I am, and with what happens inside the box, I don’t think I would want to be discovered, so I will just remain one of many pebbles.

What gets my goat though worse than anything is crime. Now if I don’t report any changes within ten days to the government, any or all of my benefits can be ripped away for long periods of time, and maybe permanent too. There could also be a threat of jail time, and like I said, I am a nobody, and I did pay into the system for a time, so of course any benefits I receive, weren’t mine in the beginning, right?

Then there is the ones who have a name, have some money sitting under the  mattress and in the bank, and they commit a crime, and suddenly it is not labeled a crime or the guilty get pushed under a new name, a new category, and BINGO, all charges are forgiven or suspended.

I can’t say the crime. I don’t know if I would get in trouble or a knock at my door, so I will just say, it has been on the news, plastered on the internet, so I have to believe that there was truth in what happened at one point.

All I am trying to point out here is this; if you do the crime, I don’t give a hoot what your last name is or how many bundles you got in the bank, pay the price. You are no better than me or any other pebbles in this world.

People, quit giving the bad guys a break. How about giving a break to those of us older people who are fighting to eat every day, pay our rents and utilities, get rides to the doctors, struggle paying those co-pays. Oh shit, I could go on and on at the unbalance in our world, but hey, I am just that pebble, so who is really listening. Oh well, I feel better just getting this off my chest. I will sleep well tonight, will you?

 

Obviously, people who commit crimes should be punished. Even people who steal socks and ‘Snow White’ videos should probably do time if they have priors, especially serious priors. But the punishment has to fit the crime, and the standard has to be the same for everyone. Matt Taibbi
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/matt_taibbi.html

Has Fallen


HAS FALLEN

How sad, one nation
Under God, for liberty
And justice, for ALL
Has fallen.

One marvels at change
Some look in awe
Our country in crumbles
Has fallen.

We have but one God
Who watches and cries
This wasn’t what he wanted
Has fallen.

Murder of innocent
Bombs and rape
Guns running rampant
Has fallen.

One nation, under God
This is who we were
Let’s pray and hold hands
Words heard for the fallen.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd

Photo taken by Terry Shepherd

 

 

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