Diabetes


I am a diabetic. I have been since the birth of my third and final child. I didn’t really know what is was in the beginning and then for years; I pretended to not recognize the name.

In the past few years, I got more serious about it. I didn’t want to go on insulin so paid attention to what I ate. I watched my carbs and sugars and took off some weight. I like being more in control of my body. It makes me feel good to know I am some what in control of this area.

I am now on a small dose of insulin. I was so disappointed in the beginning when I learned I had to start insulin but then realized the Pancreas can wear down and out. I had been lucky to have been on only oral medications since 1980, so this is not such a bad thing.

Yesterday, I was a front row observer to how the sugars getting out of control can really destroy the body. As I watched this person suffer in not being able to sit still and moan from pain, I asked myself why do some people not care enough to watch their intake or sugar numbers?

Of course there are many that do take care of themselves and watch almost everything they ingest but there are others, as my friend, who could care less what they eat. My friends, watching the pain my friend was going through, is reason enough to be especially careful of what goes in the mouth.

We may not recognize the damages at first, but believe me, the pay off is not fun nor a pretty site. If you are a diabetic, make sure to go to your doctor appointments, watch  your food intake. It is well worth the effort.

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Merry Freakin Christmas!!!!


Tis the Christmas season. Time to be stressed, underpaid, overworked and the biggest, pretend smile ever right? Nah, some really do enjoy that push and shove time of year. The time the gift you are holding and thinking to yourself, “Will they like this?”, and the lady behind you yanks it right out of your hand.

The time of year that you definitely have that grocery list of the most needed items and you find that the prices have doubled since last week. Makes you want to let the cart remain right there in the middle of the aisle and let people go around it if they want to shop. You are definitely leaving without the filled list and going to the neighborhood bar.

Remember that Christmas a few years back when you worked the hardest ever on that special candy recipe. You only had a few more degrees to raise the candy thermometer to when suddenly the front doorbell rang? You looked at the boiling candy. You thought how rude it would be to not answer the door, especially when every, stinking light was on in the house. You decide to answer it and gently and politely tell the person that you can’t chat; to come back at another time. You aren’t interested in any sales pitch.

You hurry to the door, brushing the hairs away from your face. You open it and to your surprise it is the members from your church that you have attended for over twenty years. They start singing Christmas carols. Oh my gosh! My candy! My friends. You put on that fake smile and you prop one leg on the other as if you have to pee real bad. When they are finished; you return to that black boiled, stuck on pan of candy.

Hey! Wait a darn, picking minute! It’s your life too, right? You can make decisions at this time of year also, right? Just do what I do. Don’t open the door. Turn the lights on low. Only cook after everyone is in bed. Turn your favorite Christmas music on. Grab a cup of hot chocolate. Prop your feet up. Breathe deep and smile. Hug the night.

Merry Christmas my friends!

 

WHO AM I


Who Am I is the name of my blog here at WordPress. I used to always think I knew who I was but beginning in July, 2017, life started to change and I got caught up in a whirl wind of emotions.

It began with my father having two cancers at once. Leukemia and Multiply Myeloma.

A.https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/multiple-myeloma/symptoms-causes/syc-20353378

 

I took care of him for the  year that he went through this before it took his life. I learned not to be embarrassed by bathing him and taking over his daily chores. I was his daughter and thought I could never look at my dad in anything other than being fully dressed but the nursing person in me took over and I did it.

 

Next, I got a divorce. I had always been married since the winter following graduation. Suddenly I was alone and wondered if I would make it. Then came my brother’s heart attack and his ugly disease, Multiple System Atrophy.

A. Multiple system atrophy (MSA), also known as Shy–Drager syndrome, is a rare neurodegenerative disorder characterized by tremors, slow movement, muscle rigidity, and postural instability (collectively known as parkinsonism) due to dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system, and ataxia.

 

Today, I have some of my father and brother’s illness. I have the Parkinson’s and Ataxia. I wondered daily not knowing where I was going and who I really was. It is just recently that I seem to be settling down inside.

 

I pray a lot. I go to church more often and I believe God is showing me things I never actually realized about myself.

 

I have stepped out and tried painting. I made Christmas wreaths this year. I have been asked to provide our Saturday night supper this coming Saturday with selections of Christmas music by playing the piano. Before I had the time to think before answering; I answered yes, I will. God must have had a hand in that answer and I will lean on him that I can pull this off.

 

I volunteer now at a local agency. I help many people and this is good for me since I tend to have my own little pity  parties on why I can’t stand well and do the things I used to do. There are millions of people worse off than me, and my job shows me this each day I work.

 

I don’t know who I am but I do know God still has work for me to do and I have a purpose here on earth. I look forward to each day, asking him to help me shine to others, to help those in need, and to thank God for all I can still do.

Merry Christmas my friends.

 

wreath


Hey everyone; it’s Monday! Did you go back to work? Or are you like me and stay at home?

There are pros and cons to going to work. Number one for me is the con; no paycheck. I get paid once a month and I have to make that last all month long; no matter what is going on that month. Prime example, December, Christmas, gifts, baking. Where does that money come from that we need when we live on Disability?

 

We just make it work. We find other means to make life as normal as possible. I have almost all of my Christmas gifts made or purchased. I am getting easy recipes gathered so I can take some goodies to my family’s home. Of course, this is a way for me to also taste sample and put on a few pounds.

 

Tell me what you are doing today? What do you do to make Christmas gifts stretch for you?

 

 


Hello my friends. It has been a while since I have written to you and for this; I apologize. I started a volunteer job. I work two to three days per week and I feel really good about it. I am doing something to help someone else. The issue comes after I work. I’m exhausted. It isn’t that I work to hard, it is that my Ataxia can’t take it so I sleep a lot of the next day.

I have been making wreaths for Christmas. I donated one to the place where I work. I have sold some and others I have hanging in my home. The wreath below is the one I finished this evening.

 

wreath

I have been more into Christmas this year. I have put a tree up for the first time in five years. My brother will have been gone in March; five years. I feel like I can really enjoy the lights. I have a white tree with blue lights. It brings a peace within me.

I am working on getting simple yet good recipes around for Christmas baking. I don’t  have freezer space and will have to make so much of this the week of Christmas. I have to have it simple because Ataxia wears me out so quick.

I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving. I did. I spent it with one of my sons and his family and my nephew and his family were there also. We enjoyed the day and I was very thankful to have their home to share the day in.

Anything you want to tell me about? Something new to share? I’m listening.

 

 

My Christmas Tree


THIS CHRISTMAS

This is the first year
After four years
From when my brother passed
That I am feeling up for a Christmas blast.

I wondered if the feelings would ever return
Or were they permanently burned
But I feel joy bursting from my heart
i feel like I can really start being a part.

The tree is up, the lights are lit
I think of my brother and a tear did drip
I told him hello and how I miss him so much
I asked him what he thought of my Christmas touch.

I felt a peace fall over me
As I looked at my Christmas tree
I knew he was smiling from up above
I really could feel his Christmas love.

I know it’s early to put my tree up
Cuz there are those who say, hey what’s up!
But Ataxia can rule my day, really get in my way
And today I was good so I did what I should.

I decorated my tree, I thought of mom, dad and me
I remembered Christmases past and what this year could be
I told myself I’ve got a great family
And we will share among this year’s Christmas tree.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd
Nov 11/18

 

christmas tree

The Thinking of an Ataxian Gal


Getting that time of year
When multi-tasking is in gear
But I’m getting past that stage
When my brain doesn’t want to engage.

Seems so overwhelming to me this time
Dancing thoughts are all in my mind
Writing mental lists for me to do
Isn’t working like it’s supposed to.

Thinking Thanksgiving recipes
Thoughts of beautiful Christmas trees
Making messes in my little home
Listening to Christmas on my phone.

I hate thinking it so early this year
Put the holidays on rest for another year
Let’s just sit and drink coffee and watch it snow
Let the holidays come and watch them go.

Written by,
Terry Shepherd
11/10/2018

 

Ataxia

It’s Your Turn


It’s days like this
Where a little kiss
Of clouds and rain
Give you a calming brain.
 
A chill in the air
Not going anywhere
Brings comfort to me
In my jammies; you see.
 
It’s good for the soul
Grab your favorite popcorn bowl
Turn a movie on, or open a book
Don’t let time be your crook.
 
Just make today your one day
Don’t give it a way
Think of nothing outside
Now take a big sigh.
 
Written by,
Terry Shepherd
terry