Today, being an adult and a Senior citizen, I can say with a true heart that I am not proud of what I did for attention back in my younger days.
I don’t remember everything of course and not everything was done for attention. I would rather think I was being a jealous girl and also beginning to show some independence.
When brother and I were young and in school, bedtime was at eight o’clock. No matter what we were doing, the activity stopped. Baths had been taken, clothes laid out for the next morning and teeth were brushed. I remember one evening I was reading a Nancy Drew book and I wasn’t ready to stop.
After mom made sure we were in bed and lights out, I got out of bed and took my blanket with me. I also grabbed the small, plaid light, which I took the shade off so it would fit under the bed,from the desk and along with my book I went under the bottom bunk. I plugged the light in and began reading my book. It wasn’t long before I saw some sort of steam and before I realized what it was, the heat from the light had lit the blanket on fire.
I was so scared. I think the scurrying I was doing caused alarm from mom and she opened the door to this. She sure was mad at me for disobeying bedtime orders. I am pretty sure she was grateful she came in when she did because she was able to put out the smoldering of the blanket. She only said to me, “Back to bed right now!” and of course I obeyed. I never tried that again.
There were other times that I did things that caused grief for my parents, such as racing in the house ahead of them and opening cupboard drawers and cabinets; making it looked like we had been robbed. I even watched as my mom accused other neighbors about their kids staying off our property. I am ashamed now.
I used to ride my bike down to my friend’s house, which was about a half a mile away, and I wouldn’t come home until dinner time. Mom knew where I was by habit, but she got so tired of me disobeying her and I don’t blame her.
I was screwed up back then. It had been my brother and I for ten years and then a baby came into the house, and I didn’t like the attention spent on her. I’m pretty sure I was craving attention that I hadn’t had for so very long but it was not my stepmother’s fault for my past life.
To be continued…
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