About Who I am

Still trying to figure out who I am

When things seem tough

 July 28Refined by Fire1 Peter 1:6-7God is always at work in our lives. Even during seasons of adversity, He wants to accomplish something powerful and good. How should this knowledge affect our response? Today’s passage teaches us to choose to rejoice during difficult times. This doesn’t mean we have to be happy about the hardship itself. Instead, joy comes from drawing close to the Lord and believing steadfastly that through His redemptive power, He is growing and preparing us. If your usual response to trials is anxiety, anger, or depression, the idea of having joy in the midst of a negative situation might not seem logical. However, if you look beneath the surface, you will discover that this biblical directive makes sense for several reasons.

Walking in God’s Calling

Paula FarisJuly 28, 2021

Walking in God’s Calling When You’re Afraid

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV) 

In March 2020, when the pandemic started shutting down the entire world, we left our home in New York City and drove to South Carolina, where my sister and her family reside.

We thought we’d be gone two weeks. But we never returned to NYC to live.

You may wonder why we chose to stay in South Carolina … and the answer is simple: We had a peace from God that we were supposed to stay.

Did we know why? No.

Um, God, are you really calling us to a small, rural town? With no backup plan and no jobs lined up? 

Everything happened so unexpectedly — I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to my home or pack up my office at ABC News. No closure. No hugs. Things didn’t end how I thought they would — on my terms, with a neat and tidy bow.

This new path wasn’t necessarily our first choice or what we wanted. However, in hindsight, it’s exactly what our family needed.

We trusted that peace we felt in our spirits — so, as terrifying as it was, we decided to press into our fear and step out in faith even though we were scared as ever.

Oftentimes, God calls us to do things that are risky, don’t make sense or might seem crazy. Things that we’re scared to do. In the Old Testament, we see God call Joshua to do something extremely risky, something others may have thought was crazy: taking down the mighty walls of Jericho that had stood unmovable for years.

Scripture doesn’t explicitly tell us that Joshua was afraid, but in the first nine verses of Joshua Chapter 1, God tells Joshua three times to be strong and courageous (vv. 6, 7, 9). So we can gather that Joshua was fearful in the face of this assignment! He might have even felt ill-equipped or incapable.

Maybe you’re feeling like that now. Or you’ve felt like that in the past.

Time and time again in my life, I’ve felt incapable, unqualified and unready for what God has called me to do, telling myself, “There’s nothing special about me; I’m going to fail and humiliate myself. I’m crazy to pursue this … God, I’m just not ready.” The doubts and lies go on and on.

But I always come back to Joshua 1.

The Hidden Meaning

“We need to take your keys away from you now, today. We are getting tired of asking and you know that you aren’t safe to drive around others. Now give them to us.” Edith looked head on at her kids. She had heard this conversation too many times, and she wasn’t going to change her mind.

She had been driving for over fifty years and she wasn’t about to give her keys up now for them or anyone else. She stuck her lower lip out and posed a pouting face. It didn’t work this time. Her eldest child, yanked them out of her hand, that she had been hiding under her bottom with the keys tucked tightly between her fingers.

Edith didn’t want to live anymore. She began to cry and her kids stared at her and the next words she heard were,”Keep it up and we’ll put you in a home. You know we’re doing this for your own good.” They turned and walked into the kitchen, and molded around the table. It looked like they were deep in conversation. Edith stood up with her walker and walked into her bedroom and laid down.

Edith had had three accidents in the last year. Thankfully, there had been nothing major happen. She ran a mailbox over. She ran a stop sign twice. The adult kids knew it was time for her to relent the keys, but did they handle the topic appropiately?

Edith felt all alone. She lived in the same home that she and her husband bought one year after they were married. They had given birth to three children here and had raised them until they left the nest.

She didn’t understand why they were treating her like this. She had been a good mom. She took good care of her family, so why this? Tears fell from her eyes. She wished with all her heart, that Albert, her husband was still here to help her out of this situation. He would come to her rescue. He had been a wonderful man, husband and father.

The kids didn’t see it like this at all. They saw mom always had some issue going on. They wanted her to be safe in a nursing home where she could get her medications and three meals a day and maybe she could make a friend or two, but mom always fought the idea.

The police had been involved on each accident and there was even one time when adult protective services had been called because a neighbor had seen Edith sitting on the ground and it was almost dark. It turned out that there was no harm. Edith had been enjoying her flowers and was taking in the incense of each one of them, but still the kids had been contacted over this.

They just wanted her safe and why didn’t mom understand that they had lives to live too. They had their work and their families. They were trying to save up money for a vacation or a new set of wheels. She was a mom; why didn’t she get it?

The kids checked in on her and saw that she was asleep so they left quietly through the front door and locked it behind them.They agreed to stop in at mom’s the next evening and they would bring supper with them and share with mom and hopefully mom would be in a better mood.

The next evening came and the kids all met at mom’s at the same time. They knocked but no one answered the door. They looked at each other and whispered, “She must be napping again.”

They unlocked the door and walked in to the kitchen. Placing the food on the table, they looked around and called her name. Walking on to her bedroom, they knocked and when no answer came, they turned the knob.

They walked over and called out to her but she didn’t stir. The one son looked around and then noticed the bottles of pills on her side table. Two of them were empty. The kids looked at each other and the youngest took out her cell and immediately called 911.

When the police and EMS arrived, they tried to revive their mom, but she was gone. The EMT checked the pill bottles the kids handed to him and he placed them in a clear, plastic bag.

He got on his pager and said,” We’re bringing a patient in who is DOA. Looks like a suicide.” The kids dropped their heads onto their mom’s body and began to weep. “Why mom, why…”

It Could Be Worse

Any direction she walked, the eyes followed her

in the darkness of the woods, leaves whispered to her

They like you, they’re calling you to come close

Reach out and touch the bark of my tree

Run your fingers in the creases, follow the sap line

You can never get lost, for I have had your path chiseled out for ions.

She stood shivering and pulled her sweater closer to her body

Almost frozen in place, part of her wanting to satisfy her hungry curiosity

While the other half wanting to tell her legs to run as fast as they could

Wolves stood with white teeth shining and drooling from the tongue

Snakes hissing from twisted branches, flicking their tongue in hunger

She felt surrounded and her feet started to move backwards

She tripped over a dead branch and as she fell

She could feel warmth all around her

She closed her eyes and spoke to anyone would listen

Begging for release, promising to never return

A branch lowered to the ground and scooped her up

Pulling her up higher and higher, she was sure she

Was going to be fed to the ravens but instead

She was gently seated on the white, fluffy cloud

And carried with the breezes back to where she began

The dream; the dream of escape from reality.

She woke up and saw her familiar bed

She felt her soft bedding

And she thanked her parents quietly

For loving her and giving her guidance.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd


Friday, Friday, Too Good To Be True

Friday, Friday, so good to be trueI

It’s nothing really, cuz I don’t got nothing to do.

Wake up early, put my false teeth in

Cuz if I don’t, you’ll see my empty grin

.Start the coffee and almost fall going pee

Darn that seat, I feel like it’s moving on me

.Wash my face and slap my cheeks for color

Slapped on some lotion, oh crap, that’s balm for the udder

.Run a comb through my hair

Don’t know why I bother, it’s almost bare

.Off to the kitchen and grab a cup

Look at my parakeet, hey what’s up?

Find the remote and turn the TV on

I swear the news makes my brain almost gone

.Check my emails and my Facebook too

I told you the truth, I have barely anything to do

.I look at the clock and it’s almost time

I stand from my seat and get my girdle in line

It’s almost time for that hunk mailman

I swear he winks at me like no other can

.I sit on my porch swing and wait impatiently

Here he comes, now I’m getting weak at the knees.

He hands me my mail and I say with a grin

Need a cold drink, won’t you stop and come in?

He politely says no, like all the other times

Why does he have to be so nice and kind?

I go back inside and sit back on the chair

My excitement is over, and I’m going to swear

If Saturday doesn’t hurry up and get here!!!!!

Written by,

Terry Shepherd07/23/2021

Knowing Ourselves

Do you do things because

The media says it is okay to do?

Do you follow the lead

Or are you the leader?

Do you stand up for what you believe

Or would you give in to save drama?

What would your parents and grandparents say

If they could see the world today?

Are you shocked at the quick movement of our world

Or do you ignore most things and do as you need?

Do you sit and ponder on how your grandchildren will live in the future

Or do you feel they will learn, just like you had to?

Do you have most conveniences or

Do you still like the old ways?

I ask these questions because I am getting closer to the old age and I have actually begun to get to know myself better now than ever before. Please feel free to answer or copy and past, answer and share.Hugs,Terry Shepherd

Just a Slice

Have you ever been down?

Have your feelings ever been hurt?

You knew in your heart

What was said, wasn’t the truth

.It affected your minute

It lasted all day long,

The long-lived friendship

Dissolved in seconds

.You speak to others about it

You cry out to God for help

You don’t want to get out of bed

You just want to die

.It’s so familiar today

Names called and racial slurs

People being divided by ugliness

The breeze being blown side to side

.It’s so important today and tomorrow

That we stand strong and stay true to ourselves

Love one another as you so love yoursel

fShow kindness and love all around.

Written by,Terry Shepherd07/19/2021

School is Nearing

Peaceful Sunday morning

Except for her husband’s snoring

The kiddies watching funny cartoons

Mom staying quiet and sipping coffee in the living room

She looks around at what needs to be done

The house is a mess, all clouds and no sun

Kiddies forced to play inside

Mom sips and gives out a sigh

Only two weeks to go until school

Go to bed early then, it’s the golden rule

The slumber parties and sleep until one

For her, that will soon be done

Mom can get back on track

Time she definitely won’t lack

Everything done and tidy again

Clothes washed and folded in bins

Supper on the table at a more normal time

She will sip on a glass full of wine

As she cooks up a fabulous meal

She has her house back, there’s no breaker deals

She loves her family and and being a wife

But school returning relives most of her strife

.Written by,Terry Shepherd