About Who I am

Still trying to figure out who I am

A Work in Progress


It wasn’t long ago that there was no worry or pain nor hurt. Do you remember that era? I do, it was when I was a young girl. Riding my bike, seeing how fast I could peddle, jumping rope, racing against my own legs. Swinging on the school swings. I can still hear my voice as I laughed full of freedom. Let’s see how high we can go!

Realizing when we got home from school our parents would be there or an entrusted sitter. We didn’t wonder if there would be a snack to eat, we knew it. We didn’t go straight to our room and throw our bodies on the bed and weep for what was to come.

I don’t think I actually felt a deep pain until my first break-up with my boyfriend in high school. I really believe for me, this is when I began to question who I was. Oh, I didn’t question the deep brain thoughts, I questioned my hair style, my clothes and probably my weight. I fretted about what the kids in school would say when they learned that WE were no longer going steady. Would I be able to handle seeing him without wanting to die?

Oh to have some of the simplistic life today. I still ponder on life but in different ways. I now no longer worry what people say about my clothes, because the major underside is comfort. I need comfort to be able to function from my gut problems of daily swelling. I don’t worry about make-up anymore because I rarely go out. I do think about how I look when my daughter comes to visit. I guess I never want her to see through me and guess my pain, so it is easier to play dress-up.

Today, I wake up and immediately thank God for a new day. I tell him my concerns and I pray for my children and their relationships and I pray for our President and our country. I ask him for strength to get through the day and I ask him for his healing.

Today, I still try to think of little things I can do or say to others. I believe we all, more than ever, need to know we are loved and needed. I believe that one smile is worth feeling alone. I firmly believe in Peace today. Peace within myself. Realizing that I made a ton of mistakes growing up and raising my family and peace that I can not go back and change one thing.

I want to know when that day arrives that Jesus lifts me up, I will have forgiven myself and that I am going to a beautiful home. When I look back, I smile at myself, at the progress I have made. I am far from being where I need to be, but I am making progress. I am what I would consider, a work in progress.

I am ready for you!


I founded this blog when my brother was very ill. I had so many emotions bottled up inside, it was making me a wreck. I prayed often for God to help me through this trial of times and he led me to Blog world. I had never heard of a blog, but since he led me to it, I would learn it.

It was a wonderful place to sit and write my feelings. I could post exactly how I was feeling, knowing I was healing as my brother was suffering, does that make sense? Or maybe I was preparing myself for the dreaded end.

I wrote often, and eventually wrote two books. One was published right after my brother’s death. It is called Dahlia. Today, I don’t understand how I wrote the book, considering I watched helplessly while my brother got more ill.

I later wrote and published one more book. I have another book started. I think there are twenty-two chapters to it, but I have not had the urge to continue. Hopefully, I will begin writing towards the end of it sooner than later.

I primarily write on my blog now for more intertwining with blogging friends and Facebook friends. I started a new idea on here by asking one new question about you. Nothing personal or embarrassing, just fun. I also have another page here at WordPress, for my recipes I find that I think you may like.

The year of 2020 began to get difficult to remain motivated. The Covid, and my pain helps to slow my life down. Stumbling and staggering isn’t any fun neither and so life has just changed for me.

I just don’t have the umpp to get going. I actually get mad at myself for not filling up a day with activities and yet I do nothing to change the situation. I sweep and rearrange smaller things, I bake goodies, so I do do things but I don’t fill up days. I am hoping Spring will make a difference and I can use my walker and take a walk around here. I want to sit on my porch again too.

Life isn’t grand like some people say it is. I hurt daily and it’s winter, so look out Spring, I am ready for you!

What are things you love about Spring?

Next Question


When I was young, I loved to drag the big blanket outside and put my home made baby bed on it, then bring all of my dolls and magic bottles along with diapers, and I would play under the big oak tree for hours in the summers.

What memories do you have of enjoying your childhood?

There is no Difference


I am generally not one who picks at things but I can’t help but notice the media, and I won’t mention any particular one, but in general, we do get our news from the internet, TV news, or radio, can cause an uproar.

I am beginning to feel like someone wants us to be upset, to notice the negative around us. I notice we are not one people anymore, oh, we really are but someone wants us to be divided.

On the news, I hear statements like,” A young, black lady.” Why? Why do they say that? Isn’t the story what we are really interested in and not the color of the skin? Would it make the story any different if the color of the skin was purple polka dots? Why not just simply say, “A young lady.”

Are colored people the only ones who riot? Are whites the only ones who are of wealth?

I just don’t like it. God created us all equal in his eyes.

God’s word is very clear in telling us that all men are created equal and every single person can be a child of God, receiving the full inheritance of heaven. We can look toward the Bible to learn how to love and serve everyone no matter what their age, color, or ethnicity, gender or nationality.

I just wish our countries would work on stop the dividing instead of becoming divided because it doesn’t have to be this way.