About Who I am

Still trying to figure out who I am

A Cheap Shower Curtain Says it All


The strangest things pop in my head at times. I blame this on the fact that I am a constant thinker. I actually was in the ladies’ room and was sitting on the throne. I looked at the shower curtain as I probably do most times, but saw things I hadn’t seen before.

I bought this shower curtain three weeks ago. It is in the blue hues and is checkered. It isn’t anything fancy and was a product of WalMart. Suddenly I took notice of the inside of the checker pattern. There is scribbles of a gold enhancer so it is supposed to look like water trickling down the curtain but I saw something different. I saw crosses. Yes, there was a cross in each square, all in gold. I had no problem detailing each one and as you looked outside of the checks, you could see straight lines along with wrinkles from how the curtain rest against the tub.

I was putting a puzzle together. I saw my life as I walked down the straight and narrow, sometimes running into bumps but, always ahead, I could see the gold cross. I knew that I was not alone on this travel called life. God is always with me and beside me. He is right there for you and for me. He is only waiting for us to seek him out.

Isn’t that good to know? With the changes in our world today, that aren’t all good, we can count on not being alone. This brings me inner peace. With this pandemic, it is easy to feel very alone, but we aren’t. When you can see the proof in a cheap, WalMart shower curtain, you know that God is real. Hugs everyone.

Photo taken by me.

Walking on the Rough Roads


I have a large interest in people who are going through rough waters who have terminal illnesses. I believe I have some empathy for others and along with that, the fact that my brother suffered from a terrible and rare disease, I am where I am today.

At first, when the patient and family learn of a disease that is incurable at this point, there is not only shock but much talk amongst each other. Very few have heard of some diseases and along with chatter comes fear and questions.

How long will the patient last? Exactly what is this disease and how did he/she get it? Do we need to think about death? Do we need to plan funerals and arrangements? The questions begin to roll and before we realize it, the patient is no longer looked at as our loving family or friend; they are the beginning of feelings of pity and sadness.The conversation of the illness is brought up in many a topics but it is talked about in almost a whisper tone.

As the months march on and new symptoms arrive, people fear death more and more. Some people don’t know how to react to this new side of life and so instead begin backing away, hoping the disease will some how disappear. Some others, will chip right in, offering help and running errands as the patient becomes more comfortable in bed.

Usually the patient is the one who is struggling to make the diagnosis real. They feel fine. Oh, of course they have suffered some symptoms, but they are still pretty good at living life.

It is sometimes easier for the patient to struggle through the symptoms or stages than it is for family and friends to watch the changes. It is sad, I agree, but it happens more often than not.

My suggestions for those who are having to deal with things like this in life is to think about what the patient likes; and what were their interests before the illness came along. Whatever your answers may be, make that a highlight. Visit your loved ones and take a magazine that holds interest for the patient, read to them about their favorite topic, take selfies of you and them, talk about things from the past that will bring smiles and laughter. If at all possible, bring a lunch to them to give the caregiver a break, or if you can, offer to pick the patient up and get a pizza and share lunch at the lake or park.

This is a sad time, I agree, but the goal is not to show the sadness at this time. There will be time for that later. Your goal is to make memories, memories for you for the tomorrows. I can’t stress this enough either; while you are visiting the patient, please don’t stand together with others in the room nor outside the bedroom door and talk about the patient like they can’t hear or comprehend, they can. Did you know that our hearing is the last thing to leave after we die? It is. So although these are rough times right now, live for the now and love life and your family, you will never regret it during these months.

We Are Stronger Than We Think


What do you do when you are fighting symptoms that will remain with you until death and you discover another soul in life needs your help? You pray. Yes, you pray. When you have gone the routes that I and most others have taken first, which is to figure things out yourself and then you realize you are not staying ahead of the game, you finally remember to turn to the one who will answer all of your prayers; God.

I am in that position now. Strength and will power, an inner drive to be of help to others does take its toll on a body and yet you want and at times need to push forward. Every day there is a lost soul somewhere, maybe standing or sitting right next to you. Many have too much pride to ask for help so they continue to suffer.

When the opportunity rises and you can be of help to another but you just don’t think you have the energy or the time, turn to God and ask him to help you. This is our job here on earth. It is what God wants us to do. Love and be kind to others. Talk to them about God and help them get to the point where Jesus heals them in the only way he knows best.

I will continue to pray and do what I know needs to be done. It does me good to be there for others and it takes my mind off of my own aches and pains and life’s daily problems.

Hulu Series and Halloween Treats


I have gotten in the habit of spending my evenings watching McCleouds Daughters. It’s and eight series show that is on Hulu. I am on the fifth series now. It is about a horse farm and the four women who run it. All sorts of things happen on this show, good and sad things.

I love these farm, horse shows. It not only is good and clean watching, it takes up my evenings. Have you ever seen it? If not, maybe you can start watching it. I also love Heartland. It is pretty similar. I just don’t want these series to end.

Next, I am looking forward to watch the holiday shows and movies.

A question I have for you. I am going to be staying home and passing trick or treats to the kids that live out here. They are having a Halloween walk throughout the complex. With the virus still being active, what is a good treat to hand out that keeps all safe and happy?

Image result for mcleod's daughters cast

Image result for mcleod's daughters cast

Image result for mcleod's daughters cast

Image result for mcleod's daughters cast

McLeod’s Daughters

2001 ‧ Drama ‧ 8 seasons

A Quiet, Fall Day


HELLO my friends. Today, here in Warsaw, Indiana, it actually feels like Fall outside. It is cloudy and chilly with a temperature of 56 degrees. It is days like this that I am glad I have no where I need to be.

It is quiet in here with the sounds of the clock ticking. I have always been in love with the ticking of clocks. I would invest in an old clock but I really don’t have any knowledge of how they work and so that makes my risks of buying one a pricey item if it needed repairs.

I haven’t done much today and I actually enjoy these days at times. I did make a peach cobbler though. I haven’t made but a few in my life so I hope it turns out alright. Here is the recipe I used. It has to be easy of course, because I can’t stand long with my Ataxia. Perhaps you will try it too.

RECIPE BY SOUTHERN LIVING

What could be a more perfect ending to a summertime meal than easy peach cobbler? Savor the flavors of summer with sliced fresh peaches cooking away with butter and spices. The topping can made from pantry ingredients you have on hand and peaches can easily be substituted with any fruit you have depending on the time of year. The tang of the lemon juice paired with the sweetness of the peaches is perfectly balanced with the crisp topping. Want to make dessert even better? A dollop of fresh whipped cream or cold vanilla ice cream truly makes it the perfect way to end a summer night.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 cups sugar, divided
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 cup milk
  • 4 cups fresh peach slices
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • Ground cinnamon or nutmeg (optional)

How to Make It

Step 1

Melt butter in a 13- x 9-inch baking dish.Step 2

Combine flour, 1 cup sugar, baking powder, and salt; add milk, stirring just until dry ingredients are moistened. Pour batter over butter (do not stir).Step 3

Bring remaining 1 cup sugar, peach slices, and lemon juice to a boil over high heat, stirring constantly; pour over batter (do not stir). Sprinkle with cinnamon, if desired.Step 4

Bake at 375° for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. Serve cobbler warm or cool.

Chef’s Notes

This dessert is perfect for entertaining guests on a summer night or even during the middle of the day at a cookout. Fresh peaches make this dish absolutely delicious. Top with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and enjoy. 

Chronic Pain


It wasn’t that long ago that my friend had a surgery on both arms. Each arm was separated by two weeks of healing but the healing hasn’t completed. In fact, as of today, the patient swears the pain is worse than before the surgery.

On top of that there had been specialist ordering specific tests because as three of them said, “Something is going on inside your body, but I am not sure what is wrong.” After these tests and weeks in between doctor appointments, I have had to sadly sit by and watch this patient suffer daily.

The latest update as of two weeks ago is the patient has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. At first my eyes about bugged out of my head when I heard these words because it was just too unreal that I may be living through the nightmare my brother lived through with his Multiple System Atrophy.

You can see through the words that these two resemble each other too well. I guess this one begins within the spine and my brother’s began in the brain. Although the brain seems to intertwine in both illnesses. The nerves are involved, the unsteadiness and the chronic pain along with other similarities.

For now, we are waiting for two tests to be performed in early October. Until then, I will sit by and be supportive, thinking to myself, I can get through this with my friend, I did it with my brother.

Hugs my friends.

Who Am I?


Where the baby sleeps

Let there be peace

.When you see someone praying

Grab another’s hands

.When you see a life filling with tears

Lay your hand on their shoulder

.When you see fear in a child’s eyes

Don’t walk on by.

When you see a woman without a coat

Offer her yours

.When Christmas money is tigh

tOffer to feed the hungry

.When you hear the mighty gossip

Turn and walk away.

When you think you can’t take anymore

Heal by helping others

.When you think you’ve been dealt a bad life

Visit a long-term Veteran’s home

.Written by,Terry Shepherd

.09/11/2020

You Will Smile


I am trying to make a new habit of finding something inspiring and posting it here to share with you. This is what I found today.

Last week, I took my children to a restaurant.My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace.As we bowed our heads he said, ‘God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!’Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, ‘…That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!’Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, ‘Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?’As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.He winked at my son and said, ‘I ha ppen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.’Really?’ my son asked.’Cross my heart,’ the man replied.Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), ‘Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.’Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, ‘Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already.’The EndI love this story!Please keep it moving.Sometimes, we all need some ice cream.I hope God sends you some Ice Cream today!!!

Acceptance For Ourselves


I read this on my friend’s Facebook and loved it instantly because there are many words that I need to remember for myself. I thought you may like this too.

What a speech by Pope Francis yesterday! Worth a read regardless of your faith 💕🙏*You can have flaws, be anxious, and even be angry, but do not forget that your life is the greatest enterprise in the world. Only you can stop it from going bust. Many appreciate you, admire you and love you.Remember that to be happy is not to have a sky without a storm, a road without accidents, work without fatigue, relationships without disappointments. To be happy is to find strength in forgiveness, hope in battles, security in the stage of fear, love in discord. It is not only to enjoy the smile, but also to reflect on the sadness. It is not only to celebrate the successes, but to learn lessons from the failures. It is not only to feel happy with the applause, but to be happy in anonymity. Being happy is not a fatality of destiny, but an achievement for those who can travel within themselves. To be happy is to stop feeling like a victim and become your destiny’s author. It is to cross deserts, yet to be able to find an oasis in the depths of our soul. It is to thank God for every morning, for the miracle of life. Being happy is not being afraid of your own feelings. It’s to be able to talk about you. It is having the courage to hear a “no”. It is confidence in the face of criticism, even when unjustified. It is to kiss your children, pamper your parents, to live poetic moments with friends, even when they hurt us. To be happy is to let live the creature that lives in each of us, free, joyful and simple. It is to have maturity to be able to say: “I made mistakes”. It is to have the courage to say “I am sorry”. It is to have the sensitivity to say, “I need you”. It is to have the ability to say “I love you”. May your life become a garden of opportunities for happiness … That in spring may it be a lover of joy. In winter a lover of wisdom. And when you make a mistake, start all over again. For only then will you be in love with life. You will find that to be happy is not to have a perfect life. But use the tears to irrigate tolerance. Use your losses to train patience. Use your mistakes to sculptor serenity. Use pain to plaster pleasure. Use obstacles to open windows of intelligence. Never give up …. Never give up on people who love you. Never give up on happiness, for life is an incredible show.* (Pope Francis).