People come together with their families to celebrate Easter. What better way to celebrate than to spend a few hours going on the journey of Christ’s life. Roma Downey
Yes, I remember. I remember the Easter Egg hunts as a child. Finding colored eggs. Dressing up in the fanciest clothes, sitting in church with the grown-ups. I remember all family getting together, saying grace, and eating so much food that we needed to run it off. I remember baby lambs and baby chicks.
Now that I’m an adult, I have the power of mind to make my own choices. I have the ability to listen and to read about Jesus Christ. I can choose to believe or choose to believe it is all hog wash.
I think it helped me when I read in the Bible that I would have to sell myself to the devil for a slice of bread. I know the fear was planted when I learned that I would burn forever in a fire with no escape.
Yes, I have my memories of Easters past but I am very thankful for the choices I have made as an adult.
I don’t know what happened. I was thinking maybe my Dystonia was having its way with my foot while I napped.
I had to go to my primary doctor this morning for my three-month lab work. I could barely walk. Yesterday after taking an afternoon nap, I got up and I could not stand on my foot.
Dystonia is a movement disorder in which a person’s muscles contract uncontrollably. The contraction causes the affected body part to twist involuntarily, resulting in repetitive movements or abnormal postures. Dystonia can affect one muscle, a muscle group, or the entire body.
I forced myself to endure the pain because there was no one around to help me and I was determined to go to the local church with my friends for a home-cooked dinner. I limped and was unsteady on my feet; but I did make it.
Today was about the same. I couldn’t wear my shoes and although it was chilly outside; I wore my flip-flops. It was difficult to drive and walk or even move.
I decided to treat myself to a breakfast made by someone other than myself, so I went to our local pharmacy which has a cafe within. I used to take my brother there a lot because they have a large Coca-Cola collection and if you have followed my blog for years, you know he was obsessed with this product.
My brother and I had been a part of this business since our parents started taking us when we were five and six years old.
My daughter worked there and I worked there. As I watched the waitress making my breakfast of eggs and bacon, I could almost hear my brother chatting away about all the Coca-Cola items.
My brother who has since passed away from Multiple System Atrophy.
As I watched her, I thought back to how many years ago it had been since I worked there and I could remember me racing up and down the path, filling orders. I thought I could really move quick.
Now, I couldn’t do that, no matter how bad I wished for it. Not only do the years fly by so quick as we age, any health issues can really slow us down. Still, I enjoyed my memories. I felt the ping of teary eyes thinking about how much I miss my brother and I reflected on my past months and can see my own progression in my health decline.
It really makes you stop and realize just how precious today actually is. It helps me keep working on being brave and dealing with medical issues. It helps me realize how much worse I could be. It helps me fight to walk today. Ignore the pain and smile because this is my life and today I have a chance to live it.
Today was cloudy and chilly when I got up. Part of me wanted to crawl back under the covers and go back to sleep but I knew I needed to get up.
I needed to thank God for giving me today. I needed to ask him to guide me through this day and help me to be a light to one other person.
I needed to exercise my one hand. I have Arthritis on my knuckle and two fingers. It helps them although it hurts so much at first. I needed to work my muscles in my legs so they don’t get weak. I needed to use my feet although they are in daily pain.
I have to try. When I help myself; God will help me.
It is now in the afternoon and I am glad I forced myself to do what needed to be done. Tomorrow, I will allow myself to sleep in a little, just like the old days when we were teens. How late do you sleep in? How late did you sleep in on the weekends when you were teens?
I hope your weekend will be nice. 55 degrees is predicted for Saturday and chillier on Sunday and Monday. Tomorrow evening is our Saturday night supper here where I live. A night I don’t have to eat alone!
It has been over two weeks since I finished my medication for my bronchitis. I still have that nagging cough remaining but can tell it is getting better. I went to the hospital and had my MRI. It was a real experience.
The machine took up the entire room. It reminded me of a big flying saucer and all white. There was a large table with lights and there were lots of magnets. It took some time for the tech to position me exactly how he wanted me.
Wedges placed between my legs to lift them, between my arms so nothing touched anything and under my neck. My head was wrapped inside a plastic thing that looked like an over-sized football helmet and a cloth was placed over my eyes. All I saw was darkness.
After I was rolled under the lights, I heard rumbles or vibrations. These were making the neurons in my brain bounce in all directions. The rumbles went at different speeds and tones and was measured. Each set lasted three minutes and the entire process took a little over half an hour.
The conclusion came back clear. It doesn’t really mean anything to come back clear. Many neurological testings show nothing but yet we can all see there is definitely something going on.
I have my choice to go next to Cleveland Clinic for more testing. I can’t make up my mind but I’m leaning on the not going. I already know I have Ataxia. I have every symptom, so why waste more money on finding nothing.
Many MSA patients like my brother never found anything positive. The symptoms are what really told the diagnosis. I fit into this category also.
I have an appointment with my Science of Neurology doctor May 3rd. I will tell him about my MRI and my new symptoms.
I am progressing in my weakness and unsteadiness. My newest symptom is a little hard to explain. I walk a straight line but while walking my body drifts off to the right. Sort of weird but I have had it going on now a little over a week. I guess I will make my decision based on what this neurologist says.
Neurology is so mysterious. Everything happens within the brain. Nothing definite is usually found until after death testing. I just make up my mind to go for today. Hope for the best and do the best I can.
Who I am 