In Due Time/ The Daily Post

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Daily Prompt

In Due Time

What’s your next, most pressing deadline? Are you excited, stressed, or ambivalent about it? What’s the first thing you’d like to do once you’re done with it?

For me I have been working very, very hard on not thinking about tomorrow. I didn’t realize I was so bad about worrying and stressing about the tomorrows until Al passed and I had more time to think about my life.

I have been stressed and not feeling the best of late, so every time I catch myself thinking about the what ifs I stop and give it all to God. Last night I was so bad I was actually brushing my shoulders off as I was telling God to take all my baggage off of me.

I know that for now I am going to try my best to enjoy Christmas. Spending it with my family. Living for today only. Asking God what he wants me to do just for today. After Christmas and New Year’s Day is over, I know that I must have some sort of income coming in.

I will do my best to rely on answers to my prayers. It is going to be real tough, because I like to know that I am making sure that I will be alright without help from anyone. I don’t know my future. I don’t know if I will find work or even if I do, will my balance be well enough to perform the job.

You see how in a matter of seconds I could make that last paragraph go on and on with questions? Stressing out the tomorrows. It isn’t healthy for me, and I can’t fix tomorrow when nothing right now is broken. So my deadline is for this moment, this day, I will wait, be silent, pray and listen.

Witness Protection

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, DP challenge

When you do something scary or stressful — bungee jumping, public speaking, etc. — do you prefer to be surrounded by friends or by strangers? Why?

If it is something I have never tried before I will gather all the support I can around  for encouragement. Of course being given free will and free choices, whatever I am choosing to do, must be…

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Witness Protection

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, DP challenge

When you do something scary or stressful — bungee jumping, public speaking, etc. — do you prefer to be surrounded by friends or by strangers? Why?

If it is something I have never tried before I will gather all the support I can around  for encouragement. Of course being given free will and free choices, whatever I am choosing to do, must be something I have wanted to try for some time, and at this time of my life, it would have to be fun.

If I could lead the way one of my dreams is to live in either Kentucky or Tennessee. A log cabin has lingered in my mind for many years. Trees surrounding me, tall enough to shade my vintage home. Peeking out my country curtains in the morning and seeing deer and a bear or two eating near-by.

The quietness of the hills and yet close enough to get into my rugged jeep and go to town for necessities. A few family members near enough that I would never feel totally alone, and yet plenty of solitude to be able to ponder on new ideas for books or to just day-dream.

If I was in charge of this, I would get each and every person I could gather up to help get this project off the ground. On the days I wanted to give up because this or that isn’t working out, I would cling to them for support.

Add a few financial backers to give me the best deals, I would be living my dream. On the flip side of the coin is the stress and worrying I would do when I am alone in my bed at night, worrying about all those what ifs.

I am great at doing this. I don’t like doing it, I just said I am great at it. These are the times I want to be alone. I don’t want others to see I am weak. I don’t want to be laughed at for worrying about something that hasn’t happened.

Believe me, I can have some silly thoughts roaming around in my head when I am laying in my bed at nights all alone. But some of those ideas do give me a get-up and go idea that may lead me into another direction of making something happen.

Call me goofy, call me nuts, I am me and no one else. I have learned some good habits and some bad along life’s way. But in the end I will be able to look back and give myself a pat on the back, because I did make progress. I did accomplish a few things. Now where is that dream cabin I long for so bad?