A comment was made to me today and I started thinking about it. Maybe more than I should have. But sometimes I am just in the right train of thought, the mood is perfect and I will dig deep. And so this is what happened on this very nice day.
Do you ever run into situations that make you feel uncomfortable?
I should say right here that I am in no way pointing fingers. You can all relax and take a deep breath, put your smile back on and hopefully enjoy this post. No, what I am talking about is the phrase, out of sight, out of mind.
In the way it was used when speaking with me was one that I didn’t see sticking out at me at first. I had to think about it, tear it apart, take into consideration who said it and then solve the sentence.
For me it was used as a protector. It was said to not have to stop and think about reality. The real situation that is going on in life. A way of protecting the heart. Pretending something isn’t really happening can be a way of saving a person from being depressed.
So I wondered if this is what other people do. Do I, we, you turn our backs when we see the less than desirable body walking down the street? Do any of us turn our heads if we see someone with a different color walking towards us?
What about kids in public that are crying, do we look or turn a way? Do we hear our friends really speaking when they are trying so hard to tell us they are being beaten at home? What about the teen girl who was raped last night. She feels so ashamed and yet she tries so hard to not come out and actually tell what happened, but she needs to say something. She is hoping you will pick up on her actions or words or hints.
Maybe it is the neighbor kid who used to be so friendly and now you never see him outside shooting baskets. Does it ever make you wonder if something odd or wrong is going on within that house?
What about the A student who suddenly within the same year drops down to D’s and F’s. Or maybe that little child that backs off when you try to talk to her, or covers his head when you approach. Is everything alright? Has he/
she been hit or beaten.
We all know and realize that this is a very big world we live in. Inside the marble is thousands of different homes with different life-styles. Different rules than ours. Different everything and yet we have one thing in common at the very least. We are all human. We react to good and bad news on all sorts of ways. So after dissecting the comment I am alright with it. I can’t say I wish things were not different, but I understand.
How do you handle situations that make you feel uncomfortable?
1. Head on?
2. Walk a way?
3. Out of sight, out of mind?
4. Ask for help of others?
Who I am 
There is a woman who works at a store I use regularly. She is hard to look at. There are mishapen features, bad skin, scarring; she almost looks as if she was in a terrible accident. It is easy to just keep one’s eyes down, but I was determined not to. As I approached the front of the line, she glanced up and I smiled at her. She quickly looked away. As she checked out my purchases, I asked her if she were still facing a long shift. She looked up in surprise, quickly nodded yes, and looked away again. “It’s a tiring job, standing for hours while you run your register. I got my first job doing that, putting myself through college.” I waited. She finally looked up, looked me right in the eye. She had tears. My heart melted. As I was leaving the register, I thanked her, and she said, “Hey, Lady, thank YOU!”
Why, indeed? Why is it so hard to treat everyone with the same courtesy we want to receive? Why does it take determination to just be kind to everyone?
LikeLike
You brought tears to my eyes as you are such a beautiful lady inside and out. You gave that lady the best gift ever, your time. God bless you. Hugs
LikeLike
I have been wanting to write about ill-advised advice for awhile because I have received it but only recently given it (with a backlash – argh!) Thanks for getting my brain working again!
LikeLike
anything to help!!!!! LOL hope you had a good day!
LikeLike
When I went into a pet shop the other day, there were women in there (nooooooo!) seriously though, they were there with dogs from a rescue home. One of these women had half a purple face. Either one huge birth mark, or a serious skin affliction. Now, with my Aspergic Tendencies, I find it hard to maintain eye contact, but I refused to turn my face from her. I looked into her eyes as she spoke so it could keep her confidence.
LikeLike
it is a hard thing to do. I know a lady who has a lazy eye. It is hard to look into her eyes. I always fear she will think I am staring at her. So I look into one eye so at least I am looking at her. I am always afraid of hurting someone else. I never want people to think that they are different
LikeLike
We had a woman with a lazy eye live next door to us.
LikeLike
did you ever have trouble looking her straight in the eye without her wondering if you were staring?
LikeLike
It is best to deal with it straight away otherwise you worry about it for a while it seems to get worse, so grab the opportunity to sort it out as soon as you can. Then life goes on and you feel better having dealt with it.
I don’t like open uncomfortable issues and lose sleep over it. I need my sleep lately a lot! 🙂
LikeLike
I like that. I usually mull it over for a bit, probably wrong. I try to see how I can fix it without causing any hurt feelings. Then if that doesn’t work I talk to friends. Lastly I let it rest waiting to see what happens
LikeLike
I tend to use a combination of 1. and 4. If I can’t manage to tackle it head-on, on my own, I’ll reach out to a trusted friend or family member, and ask their opinion on the situation – maybe get a fresh perspective, advice, or a helping hand. If neither of those situations work, my next recourse is to walk away; for some reason I have almost zero ability to push something that’s bothering me out of my mind!
LikeLike
I like what you said. I do the same thing. I try myself to fix things, then I reach to others for ideas. If all else fails I put it on the back burner and wait
LikeLike
🙂 It’s usually a good plan, especially because God tends to show up in those “back burner and wait” moments, when we really need Him to!
LikeLike
Terry, great post. I learned asking God first is the best way. He knows the other person(s) history etc. Doing it his way propels us to go and do but it also eliminates us from getting caught in the wrong webs.
LikeLike
I am a believer in God. I talk to him and ask for his help in guiding me so often. So why is it that when I run into a problem it is me I ask first how to fix it?
LikeLike
Terry, we all do that. I catch myself or maybe it is God reminding me he is there wanting to give me his input. It is a process of making it a habit like other things. Mark and I as we age put things in places we know we will remember where we put them. Haha! We can’t remember where we put them. So I have stopped and prayed for God to show me whatever it is we have misplaced. But, that may not be my first inclination. It is one of those lessons we have to ask God to help us form. You are getting there my dear. I don’t believe you have any idea how much you are inspiring others.
LikeLike
Thank you for helping me through this Cathy. I appreciate it very much. I think it is a habit I am slowly working on. God first, me next
LikeLike
Terry… I meet it head on…. Often though others involved don’t want to. They’d rather try to ignore the situation or maintain their position right or wrong holding on to whatever biases they may have. I like to get things out in the open…talk….try to resolve….. Diane.
LikeLike
I always want to do this but I ponder way too long on how not to hurt others feelings while trying to bring up the topic. It isn’t right and I have been working on fixing it for about the past six months
LikeLike
Sometimes I find that instead of somehow saying that the other person is wrong…. is instead I say…. ” I just need/want to say that what you said made me feel ……………. That may certainly not have been your intention but it’s just that it had that effect of me….. or ?????? just a thought Terry… Diane
LikeLike
it is a good thought, I think I will try it. Thanks Diane! hugs
LikeLike
Although I am more the head on type of person – I have approached uncomfortable situations by all 4 methids I guess it just depends on the situation & what my gut tells me.
LikeLike
I guess it really does depend on the situation and who it involves, good comment RoSy
LikeLike